Part 2 (2/2)

”'That we will leave for them to decide. I think thus: Let one stay at home and take Eva for his wife, so you have some help. Let the other one go to America for a few years, and after he has made some money and G.o.d granting that he will return safely, then they may live together. I would not like that after our death they should be separated. It is well for them to be together.'

”I noticed how mother gave a sigh of relief, but to me it seemed as if someone stuck a dagger into me. They surely expected me to go. Stephen would remain at home and take Eva. That night I did not sleep at home.

A similar trouble overtook me as in my childhood, only stronger and much more terrible. Where I gathered strength to return in the morning I do not know. Eva ran to meet me, and as soon as I saw her I told myself that verily, I would never go to America, and Eva must never belong to anyone else but to me. Since that hour I could hardly give a kind look to Stephen though he gave me no reason for anger.

”We had a meadow beyond the swamp. There I went with Eva the next day to turn over the cut gra.s.s, and I asked her to be mine. I did not have much luck at first, but since I pleaded so much and promised so much, she finally promised that she would not take anyone else.

”After the affair was settled, Eva bound up a bundle of gra.s.s, and looking around I noticed Stephen departing along the pathway. He had heard us without us noticing him.

”The following week we had some work in the city and Stephen said that he would go. Mother tried to prevent him. She had rather I should go because Stephen did not look very well. Really he looked thin and pale, as if after a serious illness or before one. But I insisted that I would not go this time, and father agreed. He had some work for me.

”'Come with me part of the way,' said Stephen the following day, after he had taken leave of our parents and Eva. So I went. We took the steep path to the cross above, on top of the hill. There he stopped.

We looked at each other.

”'Mother told me what plans father had for us. One of us must go to America,' he began. 'It cannot be you. I saw you and Eva not long ago on the meadow. Father wants one of us to take Eva. Now that she is yours what should I do here any longer? Once before in childhood I was in your way, so that you wanted to get rid of me in that black watery grave. The second time I shall not stand in your way. It would be difficult for mother to part with me. You must realize that, because she has only me. So I want to spare her the leave-taking, but I want to tell the truth to you that you may be satisfied and not begrudge me anything more. I am really leaving everything to you: parents, home, and Eva too. She cannot belong to both. Those were hard moments for me on yonder meadow. If you had to bear what I went through in those moments you could not stand it. Thus it is good that she chose you. To me it was as if I was drowning again, only the swamp into which you threw me this time was much deeper than the one before. Mother said I seem to be ill. Here I shall never get well--over there far away, I can recover sooner. I give you my hand in parting, and you give me yours without any bitterness. Let us part like brothers.'

”I clasped his hand silently. He took his things, then ran down along the path into the thicket. Bending over beside the cross I tried to see him once more--and I did. He lifted his beautiful face marked with deep sorrow toward the valley where he could see our hut for the last time. Suddenly tears gushed from his eyes. I wanted to make a step forward, wanted to call him back, to leave everything to him, and I go to America. But there was no strength in me. So I let him go for ever.

We never saw him again.”

Bacha cried aloud again, and Palko with him.

”Uncle, tell me all, to the end,” he begged after a while. ”Then what about his poor mother? How did you tell her about it?”

”I didn't have to tell her, my boy,” said Filina as he calmed down.

”He took care of all that. Mother had a distant relative who came to us the third day and brought everything that Stephen should have brought from the city; also a letter from him, wherein he begged our parents not to be angry with him because he was thus leaving for America. In that letter he again made no mention that it was I who drowned him in the depths of sorrow. It was a very beautiful letter.

We treasured it as a keepsake, and when mother was dying the poor dear asked me to have it placed in her coffin. I endeavored to make good to her the son she lost. After father pa.s.sed away, mother blessed me many times for the good care she enjoyed, but it did not bring peace to my heart.

”The distant relative who brought to us Stephen's letter intended to go to America himself. He had already bought the ticket, when circ.u.mstances hindered him from going. He complained to Stephen that he could not go, and Stephen asked him to sell the ticket to him. He borrowed some money from him on his part of the inheritance. This we had to repay later, because that s.h.i.+p never reached its goal. It sank in a storm. Thus you see, Palko, that after all, I had drowned my brother. If he had not run away from my presence he might have found another girl and could have lived till today. Thus he died, and his death accuses me before G.o.d's face for my selfishness. Verily, G.o.d's punishment came upon me soon. I enjoyed my happiness but a short time.

From the time that the message reached us about the sinking of the s.h.i.+p, Eva just pined away, and after the death of our son, she died.

In her fever, not knowing what she said, she told how she loved Stephen, and I realized that her longing for him made her perish by my side. Well, now they are both gone and I only am here--all alone.”

”And your son, where is he?”

”Him also the good Lord took. When his mother died there was no one who could give him the necessary care. He took cold, and in three days he was also with G.o.d. Now I have told you everything, my boy. I have confided all to you, but you do not understand.”

”Do not think that I do not understand, Uncle. I know that your heart is sad because of the injustice Stephen suffered because of your envy.

I know that you have sinned grievously. Why could you not like the priest, Malina, grasp the cross and the feet of Christ? You understand, in the Spirit, by faith, and receive the gift of G.o.d--salvation. There further is this quotation: 'Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief,' and here again it is written, 'It seems to me I am the one, the most sinful of the sinners, but I believe, I believe, O Lamb of G.o.d, that Thou hast died for me also, and I am casting my heart at the foot of Thy cross, that Thy blood pouring over me may cleanse it also.'”

”I see there are very good things written there, Palko. Leave this book with me for some time that I may be able to read it at leisure, and see if also on me the Son of G.o.d will have mercy and forgive my grievous sins. Now continue to read where we left off last time.”

”Now I will also bring the song-book and we shall have a song. This will be our Sunday wors.h.i.+p.” Bacha brought the book and they had a lovely time in wors.h.i.+ping G.o.d. Christ came to them through His Spirit and made the Word of G.o.d living, to the young soul who walked with Him continually like Enoch, and also to the one who could say, ”I have gone astray like a lost sheep; seek Thy servant” (Ps. 119: 176).

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