Part 16 (1/2)

”'An' does he come to see ye, at all?' says Moll.

”'Faith he does, an' onless I'm mishtaken is mightily plazed wid his comp'ny whin it's me that's in it,' says Miss Rooney.

”'An' phat widdys is in it,' says Moll, as she didn't know, bekase sorra a step did the widdys go to her wid their love doin's, as they naded no help, an' cud thransact thim affairs thimselves as long as their tongues held out.

”So Miss Rooney towld her, an' Moll shuk her head. 'Jagers,' says she, 'I'm afeared yer goose is cooked if all thim widdys is afther him. I won't thry,' says she.

”But Miss Rooney was as much in airnest as the widdys, troth, I'm thinkin', more, bekase she was fairly aitchin' fur a husband now she'd got her mind on it.

”'Sure, Moll,' says she, 'ye wouldn't desart me now an' it me last show.

Thim widdys can marry who they plaze, bad scran to 'em, but if Misther Dooley gets from me, divil fly wid the husband I'll get at all, at all,'

beginnin' to cry.

”So, afther a dale av palatherin', Moll consinted to thry, bein' it was the third time Miss Rooney had been to her, besides, she wanted to save her charackther for a knowledgeable woman. So she aggrade to do her best, an' gev her a little bag to carry wid 'erbs in it, an' writ some words on two bits av paper an' the same in Latin. It was an awful charm, no more do I remimber it, fur it was niver towld me, nor to anny wan else, fur it was too dreadful to say axceptin' in Latin an' in a whisper fur fear the avil sper'ts 'ud hear it, that don't undhershtand thim dape langwidges.

”'Now, darlint,' says owld Moll, a-givin' her wan, 'take you this charm an' kape it on you an' the bag besides, an' ye must manage so as this other paper 'ull be on Misther Dooley, an' if it fails an' he don't marry ye I'll give ye back yer money an' charge ye nothing at all,' says she.

”So Miss Rooney tuk the charms an' paid Owld Moll one pound five, an' was to give her fifteen s.h.i.+llins more afther she was married to Dooley.

”She wint home, bothered entirely how she'd get the charm on Dooley, an'

the avenin' come, an' he wid it, an' shtill she didn't know. So he set an'

talked an' talked, an' by an' by he dhrunk up the rest av the whiskey an'

wather in his gla.s.s an' got up to go.

”'Why, Misther Dooley,' says she, bein' all at wanst shtruck be an idee.

'Was iver the like seen av yer coat?' says she. 'Sure it's tore in the back. Sit you down agin wan minnit an' I'll mend it afore ye can light yer pipe. Take it aff,' says she.

”'Axqueeze me,' says Dooley. 'I may be a bigger fool than I look, or I may look a bigger fool than I am, but I know enough to kape the coat on me back whin I'm wid a lady,' says he.

”'Then take a sate an' I'll sow it on ye,' says she to him agin, so he set down afore the fire, an' she, wid a pair av s.h.i.+zzors an' a nadle, wint behind him an' at the coat. 'Twas a sharp thrick av her, bekase she took the s.h.i.+zzors, an' whin she was lettin' on to cut aff the t'reads that she said were hangin', she ripped the collar, an' shlipped in the bit o'

paper, an' sowed it up as nate as a samesthress in less than no time.

”'It's much beholden to ye I am,' says Dooley, risin' wid his pipe lit.

'An' it's a happy man I'd be if I'd a young woman av yer size to do the like to me ivery day.'

”'Glory be to G.o.d,' says Miss Rooney to herself, fur she thought the charm was beginnin' to work. But she says to him, 'Oh, it's talkin' ye are. A fine man like you can marry who he plazes.'

”So Dooley wint home, an' she, thinkin' the business as good as done, towld her mother that night she was to marry Misther Dooley. The owld lady cudn't contain herself or the saycret aither, so the next mornin' towld it to her sister, an' she to her dawther that wint to school wid Missis McMurthry's gurrul. Av coorse the young wan cudn't howld her jaw anny more than the owld wans, an' up an' towld the widdy's dawther an' she her mother an' the rest o' the town, so be the next day ivery wan knew that Dooley was goin' to marry Miss Rooney: that shows, if ye want to shpread a bit o' news wid a quickness aiquel to the tellygraph, ye've only to tell it to wan woman as a saycret.

”Well, me dear, the noise the widdys made 'ud shtun a dhrummer. Dooley hadn't been in town fur a week, an' widdys bein' nacherly suspishus, they misthrusted that somethin' was wrong, but divil a wan o' thim thought he'd do such an onmannerly thrick as that. But they all belaved it, bekase widdys judge iverybody be themselves, so they were mighty mad.

”The Widdy McMurthry was first to hear the news, as her dawther towld her, an' she riz in a fury. 'Oh the owdashus villin,' says she; 'to think av him comin' here an' me listenin' at him that was lyin' fasther than a horse 'ud throt. But I'll have justice, so I will, an' see if there's law for a lone widdy. I'll go to the judge,' fur, I forgot to tell ye, it was jail delivery an' the coort was settin' an' the judge down from Dublin wid a wig on him the size av a bar'l.

”Whin they towld Missis O'Donnell, she bust out cryin' an' says, 'Sure it can't be thrue. It isn't in him to desave a poor widdy wid only two childher, an' me thrustin' on him,' so she wint into the back room an'

laid on the bed.

”But whin the Widdy Mulligan learned it, they thought she'd take a fit, the face av her got so red an' she chokin' wid rage. 'Tatther an' agers,'

says she. 'If I only had that vagabone here five minnits, it's a long day it 'ud be afore he'd desave another tinder-hearted faymale.'

”'Oh, be aisey,' says wan to her, 'faix, you're not the onliest wan that's in it. Sure there's the Widdy O'Donnell an' Missis McMurthry that he's desaved aiquelly wid yerself.'