Chapter 41: Vulnerable and Exposed (1/2)

Jason apologised to Farrah the next day when she arrived at Jory’s clinic for his training.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t realise until afterwards that I was accusing you of being callous. I can sometimes let my mouth run off on me without thinking it through, or considering the other person’s perspective.”

“That’s very clear,” Farrah said. “You weren’t completely wrong, I guess. Mostly, but not completely. You do have to be a little callous, to do what we do.”

“Maybe,” Jason said, “but I shouldn’t be judging you when I don’t know what you’ve been through. The one thing I do know about this world is that I’m ignorant about all of it. It’s just that… in my world, I’m not a person of consequence. Being one of the faceless masses isn’t terrific, but there is one luxury the powerful don’t enjoy.”

“Oh?”

“When you’re just a face in the crowd, then you can hold an ideal without being required to live up to it. But here, my decisions can be life and death. My principles are being put to the test, and I’m forced to confront what it means when they bend, or even break. Like anyone, I liked to think of myself as someone who would stand tall under the pressure. Now I’m really under it, standing up is harder than I thought. I have my own values, from my own world. They’re the only thing I was able to bring with me. And sometimes, most times, it feels like this world wants to eradicate them. But if I let it, then what do I become?”

“I can’t answer that for you,” Farrah said. “Being good is easy when the choices are easy, but adventurers don’t sign up for easy choices. Being a good person means being good when the choices are hard, and there’s a price to that.”

“Rufus told me something very similar.”

“He might have his blind spots,” Farrah said, “but his family have never been shirkers. When the time comes to stand, they stand at the front.”

“Again, I’m really sorry,” Jason said. “You were right that I don’t know the things you’ve seen.”

“I was, wasn’t I?” Farrah said. “But sometimes I forget how adrift you must feel, in a world you don’t know.”

“Adrift is about right,” Jason said. “All I have to anchor myself is who I am. It feels like if I lose that, then I might never find a way home.”

“You realise that doesn’t actually make sense, right?” Farrah asked.

“I’ve been in this world for three weeks,” Jason said. “I’ve been getting by on throwing myself into everything like a maniac, because if I stop moving I’m going to completely lose it. I’m one bad day from cracking like an egg.”

“So you cling to whatever you can,” Farrah said. “I can understand that. But the world isn’t going to stop and wait for you to get ready for it.”

“I know,” Jason said.

“For now, concentrate on the training,” Farrah said. “Perhaps some routine will help you keep it together.”

Even before Farrah’s prompting, Jason instinctively understood that staying busy would keep him from flying off in every direction. He threw himself into training, from early mornings with Gary to afternoons with Farrah.

Every afternoon, when his training with the others was done, he would make his way to the balcony of his personal suite. Every day he would practice the one essence ability that he was most excited to master, yet had failed to successfully use. Each power he awakened brought with it the instinctive knowledge of how to employ it, but something about this one ability was holding him back.

Ability: [Path of Shadows] (Dark)

Special ability (dimension, teleport)Cost: Low mana.Cooldown: None.Current rank: Iron 0 (00%)Effect (iron): Teleport using shadows as a portal. You must be able to see the destination shadow.

The ability to teleport fired his imagination in ways his other abilities couldn’t match, yet it eluded him, day after day. Every afternoon he would sit under the awning on his balcony, trying to disappear into its shadow. His instincts screamed that it should be easy and natural, but there was something alien about that instinct. That feeling came from his essences, which were part of him now, but a new part. They didn’t entirely feel like a true part of him yet, and every day the sun would set on another failure.

His personal suite wasn’t on the ocean side of the building, so his balcony instead overlooked one of the guild district’s wide boulevards. Sitting cross-legged in the shadow of the awning, he would try and sink into it, for hours on end. As time went on, he became more frustrated. He could feel success was tantalisingly close, as if it brushed against his fingers, only to slip away.

As days rolled on, it felt like he was moving in the wrong direction, further from success than when he first started practicing. He pulled out his starlight cloak, letting it wrap itself around him for comfort. That ability had come so easily.

“Essence abilities should come naturally,” Rufus told him, when Jason asked for advice. “This kind of problem you’re having usually appears when people are getting in their own way. In your world, abilities like this aren’t possible, are they?”

“Definitely not.”

“It may be there’s a part of you still thinks it’s impossible,” Rufus said. “Your new instincts, conflicting with your old ones. A teleport power affects you more than your other powers; it consumes you, in a way. Perhaps you feel that and instinctively draw back, like flinching from a hot stove.”

“So, what do I do?” Jason asked.

“Instead of focusing on yourself,” Rufus said, “focus on your surroundings. Farrah has been teaching you to project outside of yourself with your aura. Use that. Probe the shadows. Instead of trying to use them, just try and understand them. What they are, what you can do with them. Right now, you have this idea of what shadows are in your head, but a power telling you something different. Until you resolve that conflict, using that power will remain out of reach.”

“You picked the basics of aura manipulation up quickly,” Farrah told Jason. “You’re slow and somewhat crude with it, but that’s to be expected. The only way to smooth the rough edges is with experience. There’s no substitute for practice.”

Jason nodded. They were in Jory’s yard, sitting face-to-face on meditation mats.

“Now you have a grasp of the fundamentals,” Farrah said, “it’s time to show you the last aspect of aura manipulation.”

“I didn’t think it would be this quick,” Jason said.

“The basics of aura manipulation are exactly that,” Farrah said. “Like all essence abilities, there’s an instinctive understanding. The real difference between the capable and the incompetent is keeping up the practice. Practice is the only real secret to mastery.”

“No shortcuts,” Jason said.

“No shortcuts,” Farrah agreed. “Now we're moving on to the third aspect of aura manipulation. You can perform projection and restraint to acceptable levels, so next comes suppression. Like the other aspects, the description is right there in the name; you use your aura to suppress the auras of others. It really only works against people weaker than you, but it can be useful when you need to show dominance.”

“Alright,” Jason said.

“This is a little trickier to pick up,” Farrah explained, “because there isn’t anyone weaker than you to practise on. Even normal people won’t be far below your aura strength until your spirit attribute gets stronger. At this point I’m really just showing you, rather than teaching you. It’s something you need to know about, if only to be prepared when others use it on you.”

“So, you’re going to suppress my aura?” Jason asked. “Let me get a feel for it?”

“Exactly,” Farrah said. “It can be a disconcerting experience, so it’s best you learn what you’re in for.”

“Alright,” Jason said. “Hit me.”

“Here I go,” Farrah warned. She expanded her aura, clamping onto Jason’s and suppressing it, pushing it forcefully into his body. She looked at Jason, watching for reactions. He pulled out a small paper bag, popping a few glazed nuts into his mouth.

“Is that it?” he asked.

“Um, yes,” she said. “You are feeling that, right?”

“Yep,” he said, holding out the bag. “Want some? I don’t know what they put on these nuts, but it’s really good.”

With a confused expression, Farrah reached out and took a couple of nuts from the bag.

“They are good,” she agreed. She looked at Jason, still under the effect of her aura suppression.

“Are you alright?” she asked.