Part 42 (1/2)
”What's eating you, colonel?” he asked presently.
Kirk frowned in silence at the Undeniable for a few moments. Then the pent-up misery of months exploded in a cascade of words. He jumped up and began to walk restlessly about the studio.
”d.a.m.n it! Steve, I ought not to say a word, I know. It's weak and cowardly and bad taste and everything else you can think of to speak of it--even to you. One's supposed to stand this sort of roasting at the stake with a grin, as if one enjoyed it. But, after all, you _are_ different. It's not as if it was any one. You _are_ different, aren't you?”
”Sure.”
”Well, you know what's wrong as well as I do.”
”Surest thing you know. It's. .h.i.t me, too.”
”How's that?”
”Well, things ain't the same. That's about what it comes to.”
Kirk stopped and looked at him. His expression was wistful. ”I ought not to be talking about it.”
”You go right ahead, squire,” said Steve soothingly. ”I know just how you feel, and I guess talking's not going to do any harm. Act as if I wasn't here. Look on it as a monologue. I don't amount to anything.”
”When did you go to the house last, Steve?”
Steve reflected.
”About a couple of weeks ago, I reckon.”
”See the kid?”
Steve shook his head.
”Seeing his nibs ain't my long suit these days. I may be wrong, but I got the idea there was a dead-line for me about three blocks away from the nursery. I asked Keggs was the coast clear, but he said the Porter dame was in the ring, so I kind of thought I'd better away. I don't seem to fit in with all them white tiles and thermometers.”
”You used to see him every day when we were here. And you didn't seem to contaminate him, as far as any one could notice.”
There was a silence.
”Do you see him often, colonel?”
Kirk laughed.
”Oh, yes. I'm favoured. I pay a state visit every day. Think of that! I sit in a chair at the other end of the room while Mrs. Porter stands between to see that I don't start anything. Bill plays with his sterilized bricks. Occasionally he and I exchange a few civil words.
It's as jolly and sociable as you could want. We have great times.”
”Say, on the level, I wonder you stand for it.”
”I've got to stand for it.”
”He's your kid.”
”Not exclusively. I have a partner, Steve.”
Steve snorted dolefully.