Part 17 (1/2)

*Could that be because it's all she's been talking about for the past month?'

Elliott laughs.

*We could buy it together,' Gabby says carefully. *It could be from both of us. Then we could each get something small to give to her individually. I have junky stuff for her stocking, but there's a craft set I know she's been looking at.'

*Stockings,' Elliott says thoughtfully, nodding his head. *I hadn't thought about stockings. I'm going to have to get some for my house. Where do I even get stockings from?'

*I don't know,' Gabby says, because she has had their stockings for years, each of them finely needlepointed with Christmas scenes, their names embroidered at the top. She has no idea where they came from, only that they appear to have been there for ever. *Do you think it would be weird for Santa to do two stockings each? I think it might be ... overkill. Which raises the point, how are we going to do Christmas this year?'

Elliott shrugs sadly. *Split up Christmas Eve and Christmas Day?'

*We could,' Gabby grudgingly admits, *but I think the girls would hate it. And honestly? I'd hate it. I know we aren't a family any more, but don't you think, for something like this, we could come together? Not for us, Elliott, and I know the last thing you probably want to do is spend Christmas with me, but this is a holiday for the girls; this has always been a holiday about the girls, and nothing would make them happier.'

*I don't know.' Elliott frowns. *I think it might confuse them.'

*What do you mean?'

*I don't want to give them false hope. It might make them think this means we're getting back together.'

*Oh no, no,' Gabby says quickly, pus.h.i.+ng aside the pictures that were already invading her head: the four of them laughing over eggnog and spiced apple cider, her eyes and Elliott's meeting in a meaningfully soulful manner as they string popcorn, and Elliott realizing what a terrible mistake he had made in leaving, then starting to plot his way back into Gabby's heart. *They wouldn't think that at all, not if we made it quite clear. We both love them, and Christmas is a time for children to be with their parents. We could say we didn't want to force them to make a choice, so we have all come together for the love of the children ...' She tails off. *Something like that.'

Elliott doesn't say anything for a while. Eventually he nods, with a half-smile. *Okay,' he says, and a huge smile spreads on Gabby's face. *Christmas Eve. Your place. The Parka?' he asks, turning back to the coat. *Shall we do it together, then?'

*Absolutely.' Gabby is beaming. *I'll wrap it and it will be from us both.'

Chapter Twenty-Five.

*So how do you feel about all being together at Christmas?' Josephine says, leaning down to look at the handles on the chest Gabby had been restoring before leaning down became too c.u.mbersome.

*Honestly?' Gabby squeezes herself. *Thrilled. Excited. Nervous. I know Elliott. All he ever wanted was a family; nothing makes him happier than when we're all together. Add in all the Christmas joy and I think he'll realize how much he misses us. I think he'll see how much happier he is when we're all together, then he'll come home.'

*And you'll all live happily ever after?'

*Something like that.'

*Gabby, I hope you're right, but I'm worried you're getting your hopes up too much. What if it just means he's thinking about the children? What if it doesn't mean anything at all? Then you'll be left feeling horrible over the holidays.'

*I don't think I'm wrong,' Gabby says. *But even if I am, so what? I have a couple of depressed days before I pull myself together and life carries on exactly as it has before. I'm a big girl, growing bigger a' she gestures unhappily to her stomach a *and I can deal with it. It just might be an opportunity. I kind of told myself that if he said no, there'd be no hope, but if he said yes, it meant we'd get back together again.'

Josephine laughs. *That's about as random as telling yourself if the lights stay green something will happen.'

*I do that all the time!' Gabby says. *And they almost always do!'

*So you're convinced you and Elliott are going to get back together?'

*I wouldn't say that, but we have been getting on well recently, better than we have done for ages. It was a little awkward when I ran into him Christmas shopping, but that was only because neither of us expected to see the other. I really think he might be forgiving me, and I can't believe he has stopped loving me. I don't think you can switch off like that. I really don't.'

*Do you still love him?'

*Oh my G.o.d! Yes!' Gabby looks at her friend in horror. *As if there could be any doubt. Anyway, enough about me. What are you doing for Christmas? Is James here?'

Josephine comes to sit next to Gabby, exhaling loudly. *Oh I don't know. It's all up in the air again. He went AWOL last weekend and now he says he loves me but he's not ready.' She shakes her head. *The thing is, I know he's going to be on the phone again next week saying how much he misses me and that he can't live without me. I love him, but this is exhausting. I don't know how much longer I can do this.'

*I've told you before, many, many times, you shouldn't be doing this. It's time to move on, and you need to be the one to say it because James clearly doesn't have the strength to do it himself.'

*I know, I know.' Josephine sighs. *I wish you weren't pregnant.'

*Me too,' says Gabby, and Josephine laughs.

*No, seriously. If you weren't pregnant I could get a babysitter for the boys and we could go out and do the singles scene together. I keep hearing that if you're single and our age you need to be out at the Spotted Horse, or Grey Goose, or Artisan, but I don't have anyone to go with. Mich.e.l.le from the divorce support group apparently goes all the time, but I can't go with her or no one will even look at me.'

*She is gorgeous,' murmurs Gabby.

*Exactly.'

*And I am hugely fat and swollen, so everyone would look at you.'

*Exactly,' Josephine says, in precisely the same tone, and they both laugh. *Are you sure you won't come with me?'

*Not only will I not come with you, but I don't think you should be going. Trust me, you're not going to meet the sort of man who's going to take your mind off James in a bar of all places.'

*So where am I going to meet him?'

*Where you're least expecting it. You'll probably meet him when you're engrossed in something with your sons, when you've forgotten all about men and you've decided to swear off relations.h.i.+ps completely.'

*But that's never going to happen. What about you? If you and Elliott don't get back together what will you do?'

Gabby grimaces. *G.o.d only knows. I can hardly bear to think about it. Thank heavens he hasn't started divorce proceedings yet a naturally, that gives me some hope a but if that is to happen ... Lord. I'd have to get a job, I suppose. And one that pays enough to cover childcare for the baby.' She shudders in horror and shakes her head. *This was not how my life was supposed to turn out, let me tell you.'

*Why don't you sell your furniture?' Josephine gestures at the unfinished pieces dotted around the barn. *You could turn this into a store and sell from here. Imagine, you'd keep the overheads down, get to do something you love, and make money doing it. These pieces cost you nothing, right? Don't you find most of them in dumpsters?'

Gabby laughs. *Not most a but it's true that I have found some of my best pieces in dumpsters or at the dump.'

*So? Isn't that the obvious thing to do?'

*Funny. My friend Claire always said the same thing. Exactly that, that I should clean this place up and give it a great name, then open it to friends. I couldn't open it to the public as we're not zoned for commercial use, but I could do open-house sales and invite everyone on the mailing list.'

*There you go! That's a great idea! And you should take advantage of the fact that everyone's probably talking about you, so if you manage to do it soon a ton of people would show up.'

Gabby's face falls. *Do you really think everyone's talking about me?'

*I do. Sorry. It's part Schadenfreude, delighting in someone else's misfortune, and part relief that their marriage is okay. I think that's why everyone abandons you when you get divorced. Your crumbling marriage, when they thought you two were so perfect together, reminds them of the fragility of their own marriage, and each time they see you they feel a sliver of fear that this could so easily happen to them too.'