Part 53 (1/2)

As she came to herself, she saw that a half-grown girl, with a little spade in her hand with which she had been digging small beds, was standing near her and looking at her sympathetically, while from the veranda railing an old nurse regarded her with scarcely less curiosity.

Apparently no one but the child and the old servant was at home, and Lena rose and thanked them both and walked back to the gate. But the half-grown girl looked after her with sad and wondering eyes, and it almost seemed as if some premonition of the sorrows of life had dawned upon her childish heart.

Meanwhile Lena, having crossed the embankment, had reached the ca.n.a.l, and now walked along at the foot of the slope where she could be sure of meeting n.o.body. From the boats a Spitz dog barked now and then, and as it was noontime a thin smoke rose from the little stovepipes of the galleys. But she saw and heard nothing of what was going on, or at least had no clear consciousness of it, and only where beyond the Zoological Garden the houses by the ca.n.a.l came to an end and the great lock gate with the water rus.h.i.+ng and foaming over it came in sight, did she stand still and struggle for breath. ”Ah, if I could only cry.” And she pressed her hand to her heart.

At home she found her mother in her accustomed place and sat down opposite her, without a word or a glance being exchanged between them.

But suddenly the old woman, who had been looking all the time in the same direction, glanced up from the fire and was startled at the change in Lena's face.

”Lena, child, what is wrong with you? How you do look, Lena?” And although she was usually slow in her movements, she jumped up in a moment from her bench and got the jug, to sprinkle water on Lena, who still sat as if she were half dead. But the jug was empty and so she hobbled into the pa.s.sageway and from there into the yard and the garden, to call good Frau Dorr, who was cutting wallflowers and honeysuckle for bouquets for the market. Her old husband stood near her and was just saying: ”Don't use up too much string again.”

When Frau Dorr, heard from some little distance the distressed cry of the old woman, she turned pale and called back ”I am coming, Mother Nimptsch, I am coming,” and throwing down whatever she had in her hands, she ran at once to the little house, saying to herself that something must be wrong there.

”Yes, just as I thought ... Lena.” And she vigorously shook the young girl, who still sat lifeless as before, while the old woman slowly shuffled in from the pa.s.sageway.

”We must put her to bed,” said Frau Dorr, and Frau Nimptsch started to take hold with her. But that was not what the stronger woman meant by ”we”. ”I can manage alone, Mother Nimptsch,” and taking Lena in her arms, she carried her into the next room and covered her over.

”There, Mother Nimptsch. Now a hot cover. I know what is the trouble, it comes from the blood. First a cover and then a hot brick to the soles of her feet; but put it right under the instep, that is where the life is.... But what brought it on? It must have been some shock.”

”I don't know. She didn't say anything. But I think that perhaps she saw him.”

”That is so. That's it. I know about that.... But now shut the window and draw down the blinds.... Some people believe in camphor and Hoffmann's drops, but camphor is so weakening and is really only fit for moths. No, dear Frau Nimptsch, nature must help itself, and especially when one is so young, and so I believe in sweating. But thoroughly. And what makes all the trouble? The men. And yet we need them and must have them.... There, her color is coming back.”

”Hadn't we better send for a doctor?”

”Heaven forbid! They are all out going their rounds now and before one of them would get here she might die and come to life again three times over.”

CHAPTER XVII

Two and a half years had pa.s.sed since this meeting, during which time many things had changed in our circle of friends and acquaintances, but not among those of the Landgrafenstra.s.se.

The same good humor continued there, the gayety of the honeymoon still remained, and Katherine continued to laugh as of old. What might perhaps have troubled other young women, that they had no children, did not disturb Katherine for a moment. She enjoyed life so much and found such complete satisfaction in dressing and small-talk, in riding and driving, that she shrank from any change in her way of life rather than desired it. The feeling for family life, to say nothing of any real longing for it, had not yet awakened in her and when her mother made some remark in a letter about such matters, Katherine answered somewhat heretically: ”Don't trouble yourself, mamma. Botho's brother has just become engaged, and in six months he will be married and I shall gladly leave to my future sister-in-law the care of providing for the continuance of the house of Rienacker.”

Botho did not take exactly this view, but even his happiness was not seriously disturbed by the lack of children, and if from time to time he had a discontented mood, it was chiefly because, as he had already found out on his wedding journey to Dresden, he could perhaps talk somewhat reasonably with Katherine, but any really serious speech with her was wholly out of the question. She was talkative and sometimes even had bright ideas, but the best things she ever said were but superficial and trivial, as if she were unable to distinguish between important and unimportant things. And what was the worst of all, she considered all this as a merit, and plumed herself on it, and never thought of correcting the habit. ”But, Katherine, Katherine,” Botho would exclaim sometimes, and the tone of his voice would show some displeasure, but her happy nature could always disarm him again, so completely, indeed, that his own expectations seemed almost pedantic to him.

Lena with her simplicity, genuineness, and directness of speech often recurred to his mind, but vanished again as quickly; and only when chance recalled some special incident very vividly did her image come to him with greater distinctness, and perhaps a stronger feeling with which some embarra.s.sment was mingled.

Such an incident happened during the first summer, when the young couple, who had returned from dining with Count Alten, were sitting on the balcony taking tea. Katherine was leaning back in her chair listening to a newspaper article which was profusely interspersed with figures, and dealt with the subject of minister's salaries and surplice fees. She actually understood very little of the subject, and all the less because the many figures troubled her, but she listened rather attentively, because all the young girls of her province spend half their youth ”with the minister” and so they retain a certain sympathy with the affairs of the parsonage. This was the case to-day. Finally evening came on and just as it was growing dark the concert at the Zoological Garden began and the tones of a ravis.h.i.+ng Strauss Waltz reached them.

”Only listen, Botho,” said Katherine, rising, while she added eagerly: ”Come, let us dance.” And without waiting for his consent, she pulled him up out of his chair and waltzed with him into the large room from which the balcony opened and then two or three times around the room.

Then she kissed him, and while she clung to him caressingly she said: ”Do you know, Botho, I never danced so wonderfully before, not even at my first ball, that I went to while I was still at Frau Zulow's and had not yet been confirmed, if I must confess it. Uncle Osten took me on his own responsibility and mamma knows nothing about it to this very day. But even then it was not so lovely as to-day. And yet forbidden fruit is the sweetest. Isn't it? But you are not saying anything, Botho, you seem embarra.s.sed. See, now I have caught you again.”

He attempted to say something or other, but she did not give him a chance to speak. ”I really believe, Botho, my sister Ina has taken your fancy and it is of no use your trying to comfort me by saying that she is only a little half-grown girl or not much more. Those are always the most dangerous. Don't you think so? Now I am not going to take any notice and I do not grudge it to you or to her. But I am very jealous about old affairs of long ago, far, far more jealous than of things that may happen now.”

”How curious,” said Botho, and tried to laugh.

”And yet after all it is not so curious as it may look,” Katherine went on. ”Don't you see, affairs that are going on now one has almost under one's eyes; and it must be a hard case and an arch deceiver, if one should notice nothing and so be completely betrayed. But there is no control possible over old stories; there might be a thousand and three, and one might hardly know it.”

”And what one does not know ...”