Part 41 (1/2)

”Yes, she really is, for all that she says strange things--things that sound as if they have a double meaning and perhaps really have. But she knows nothing about that, and in her doings and behavior there is not the least thing that could recall her past.”

”Has she a past then?”

”Yes. At least she had some sort of a relation for years and 'went with him' as she calls it. And there is no sort of doubt that there was plenty of talk about that affair, and of course about good Frau Dorr herself. And she herself must have given occasion for it again and again. Only she is so simple that she never gave it a thought, still less reproached anyone. She speaks of it as an unpleasant service, that she faithfully and honorably fulfilled, simply from a sense of duty.

You may laugh, and it does sound queer. But I don't know any other way to tell it. And now let us leave Frau Dorr alone and sit down and look at the crescent moon.”

And in fact, the moon stood just above the elephant house, which, in the flood of silver light, looked even more fantastic than usual. Lena pointed to it, drew her hood closer and hid her face on Botho's breast.

So the minutes pa.s.sed by, silent and happy, and only when Lena aroused, as if from a dream that escaped her, and sat up again, did she say: ”What were you thinking of? But you must tell me the truth.”

”What was I thinking of, Lena? Why, I am almost ashamed to tell you. I had some sentimental thoughts and was thinking of our kitchen garden at Castle Zehden, which is laid out so much like this of the Dorr's, the same lettuce beds with cherry trees between and I would almost wager, just as many bird houses. And even the asparagus beds run the same way.

And I would walk amongst them with my mother and if she was in a good humor, she would give me the knife and let me help her. But woe be unto me if I were careless and cut the asparagus stalk too long or too short. My mother's hand was hasty.”

”I well believe it. And I always feel as if I ought to be afraid of her.”

”Afraid? How so? Why, Lena?”

Lena laughed merrily and yet her laughter was a trifle forced. ”You must not take it into your head that I have any intention of presenting myself before the gracious lady; you must just feel as if I had said that I am afraid of the Empress. That would not make you think that I meant to go to court? No, don't be afraid; I shall never complain of you.”

”No, you wouldn't do that. You are much too proud for that, and then you are a regular little democrat, and every friendly word has to be almost choked out of you. Isn't that so? But however that may be, describe my mother, as you imagine her. How does she look?”

”Very much like you: tall and slender and blond and blue-eyed.”

”Poor Lena (and now the laugh was on his side), you have missed it this time. My mother is a little woman with bright black eyes and a long nose.”

”I don't believe it. It isn't possible.”

”And yet it is true. You must remember that I have a father too. But that never occurs to you. You always think that you women are the princ.i.p.al thing. And now tell me something about my mother's character.

But make a better guess.”

”I think of her as very much concerned for the welfare of her children.”

”Correct.”

”... And that all her children must make wealthy, yes very wealthy marriages. And I know too, whom she has ready for you.”

”An unfortunate woman, whom you ...”

”How you do mistake me. Believe me, that I have you now, for this very hour, is my joy. What follows does not trouble me. One of these days you will have flown away....”

He shook his head.

”Don't shake your head; what I say is true. You love me and are true to me; at least in my love I am childish and vain enough to believe so.

But you will fly away, I see that clearly enough. You will have to. The saying is that love makes us blind, but it also makes us see far and clear.”

”Ah, Lena, you do not know how dearly I love you.”

”Oh yes, I do. And I know too that you think of your Lena as something set apart, and every day you think, 'if only she were a Countess.' But it is too late for that now, I can never bring it about. You love me, and you are weak. That cannot be altered. All handsome men are weak and the stronger spirit rules over them.... And the stronger spirit ...