Part 17 (1/2)

”Working with Lila is rubbing off on me.” Chloe winked my way, then turned back to Jennifer. ”I know you're pregnant, honey.”

Like the whole world didn't? I thought. h.e.l.lo, protuding gut!

”Oh.” Exhale. ”Okay. You scared me,” Jennifer said.

She and I shared one of those forced, nervous ”heh heh heh!” laughs until that ever-intrusive (at least to me) question, ”how do you end your laugh?” entered my brain (remember?) and made me cut mine off abruptly to dive into my latte.

Jennifer took my cue, sorta, and let her laugh taper off with all the grace of an untied balloon farting its way empty through the air until it landed limp and embarra.s.sed on the ground. I couldn't blame her, because, apparently, she'd never been introduced to the whole ”how do you end your laugh?” conundrum. I'd school her about it later.

”So, I know a prospective couple who have been trying to get pregnant through, um, artificial insemination, but it's not working. And they're banging their heads against the brick wall of bureaucracy when it comes to adoption.”

Wow, she actually sounded sort of smart. Who'da thunk?

She cleared her throat. ”I've talked to them a little about adopting my daughter. Just with a 'what if' kind of tone.”

”It's a girl?” Chloe asked gently, with a smile.

”Yes,” Jennifer said, shyly. ”The thing is, I don't want to give her up to some big, impersonal adoption agency where I'll never know anything about her again, and she'll never know about me. Plus, I want her to have these moms.”

Chloe blinked twice. ”Moms?”

”Reese and Kelly,” I said.

Jennifer's mouth opened as if to defend any forthcoming argument, but Chloe didn't even startle. ”Oh, that's sweet. Reese and Kelly are good people. They'll make amazing parents.”

”If they ever get to be parents. They've gone through h.e.l.l trying.” Jennifer blew out a breath, sipped her cocoa, regained her questionable cool, then said, ”Anyway, that's what I think, too. That they're the perfect parents for the little goober. In fact, I'm completely obsessed with making it happen at this point.”

They smiled at each other, and I concentrated on my java again. Dude, they so didn't need me here. In fact, maybe I could melt my way under the table, then low crawl outta there. They wouldn't even notice.

But-odd as this sounds-I really wanted to find out about the whole adoption process, too. Sure, it felt squirm-worthy to bandy about terms such as ”insemination” and ”trimester,” with my boyfriend's mother, but still. Curiosity got the better of me. It seems weird to just sort of give the baby to people you know. I mean, what if you woke up one night and decided you wanted her back? What then?

”It sounds as if you're interested in open adoption,” Chloe said. ”Is that right?”

Jennifer darted a furtive glance toward me. ”Um-”

”That means you'd be able to see her even though Reese and Kelly would be her moms. You'd have contact,” I said, all informed and whatnot. I glanced at Chloe. ”Right?”

She nodded. ”There are basically three types of adoption. Open, mediated, or confidential.” She reached up and brushed her hair back from her face. ”Confidential means you'd have zero contact, zero information. You wouldn't even know where the baby went.”

”No way,” Jennifer said.

Chloe inclined her head. ”I don't think mediated adoption would work in this case, because you live in the same small town as Reese and Kelly. You couldn't very well keep all your contact with them through a mediator, like a caseworker or attorney, because-”

”I hang out at their store.”

Chloe laughed softly. ”Right. So, the question is, are you-the three of you-prepared to deal with open adoption?”

Jennifer tucked her long hair behind her ears. ”Well, I don't really know what's involved.”

Chloe nodded once. ”A close friend of mine has an open-adopted baby. They've had regular contact with the birth mother, Mimi, since day one.” She held up a hand. ”Let me make it absolutely clear, my friend and her husband are the sole parents. The legal relations.h.i.+p of parent/child between Mimi and her baby was permanently severed when the papers were signed. Period. Do you understand that?”

”Yes.”

”But MiMa, as the child knows her, visits regularly, babysits on occasion. She's part of their family life without any parental duties or rights whatsoever. She never a.s.sumes a parental role with the child, and that's imperative.”

”That's exactly what I want. I'm not ready to be a mother. I don't even want to be one.” Jennifer gulped. ”But that doesn't mean I don't want to watch the baby grow up with good parents who can give her the life she deserves.”

”How do Reese and Kelly feel?”

Jennifer bit her lip. ”I'd have to talk to them more.”

”If you're serious, you should do that. We're talking tons and tons and tons of paperwork, sweetie. All of the interaction details and rules have to be hashed out with separate attorneys for each of you up front and put into an agreement. Of course, things can be modified as the child gets older and her needs change.”

”Oh.” Jennifer's chin quivered, and tears glistened in her eyes. ”I don't have money for an attorney, and there's no way my parents would foot that bill. They'd rather the baby just disappear so they can pretend she never happened.”

Chloe reached across and squeezed her hand. ”It's okay. Usually the adoptive parents pay for both attorneys.”

A beat pa.s.sed. ”Really? Oh-whew. Okay.” Jennifer visibly relaxed.

”The whole point of open adoption is to minimize the loss of relations.h.i.+ps for the baby,” Chloe said. ”There won't be all the questions like, who is my birth mother? Or, why didn't she want me? You can also make sure she has access to genetic information. That's so valuable.”

”Yeah,” Jennifer said, wistfully.

”Also, and most vital, an open adoption will allow your birth daughter to maintain connections with all the important people in her life, and that includes you, the young lady who actually gave her the gift of life.”

Jennifer's tears came in earnest then, and I started to fidget in my chair. Soooo uncomfortable. Chloe, though, she had a handle on it.

Thank G.o.d for Chloe! Wait-did I just think that?

”Talk to us, Jen,” Chloe said, in a gentle voice. ”What's going through your head?”

”Everything is just so messed up. My parents-” She punctuated the half-statement with the cla.s.sic eye roll/head shake combo, which said it all, really. Then she waved her hand. ”Don't mind the tears. It's a hormonal thing, according to my doctor. I absolutely sob watching reality television these days, even when it's not sad.”

We all laughed at that one.

As she regained her composure, Jennifer said, ”I just so want it to work out. Like, you have no idea. I want Reese and Kelly to be my baby's moms. More than anything. And I'm afraid it won't happen because they're gay and the system will block them. Somehow it feels like having them raise her would make everything all better.”

Chloe dipped her chin. ”You have to be clear, hon. A successful open adoption takes work and flexibility and commitment to the long-term, fluctuating relations.h.i.+p between all of you. There will be ups and downs, and through it all, you have to be steadfast in knowing that Reese and Kelly are the moms. No matter what, and I guarantee there will come a day when you disagree with one of their parenting decisions, no matter how perfect you think they are right now. Once you sign that paper, you are not the baby's mom anymore. Ever.”

Jennifer nodded, her expression solemn.

”How your relations.h.i.+p with the baby will be defined is up to them,” Chloe added firmly. ”Not you. Okay?”

”That's what I want.”

”You're going through a lot. You have to be sure.”