Chapter 44 (2/2)
”You can't handle it. Just look at what happened recently - you became nervous!”
”Still, you should tell me. Poor Ray. He had to do this all just to tell me. Too much effort,” said Gibbs.
KJ pouted, ”You sure are backing your sweetheart.”
I'm talking with my two ghost friends about their lives as ghosts. Nonchalantly at that. Like talking about which girl to be made a meal. Like the old times. Okay.
That thought appeared in Khalil's head for a while. After that, he felt calm and comfortable again.
Strange, Khalil himself can't explain it - but he wasn't even a bit stressed at this situation.
Khalil lit a cigarette - not because of stress. But because of habit. For he felt that's the most natural thing to do every time he chatted with his friends.
”Show-off,” said KJ while observing Khalil smoking.
”I can't smoke but you can trap me?” replied Khalil. His sentence started becoming like the old Ray's again. An artist's sentence.
”Look! He keeps saying that I trapped him in a room! The h.e.l.l?” KJ was dissatisfied.
”What about this trapping thing?” Gibbs was the one who asked.
Khalil was silent. ”If it's not you, then who?”
Gibbs looked at KJ, KJ looked at Gibbs.
”There are many things in this world that can persecute you, Ray. But I'm sure as h.e.l.l it's not your best friends,” said Gibbs.
Khalil was silent. Guilt suddenly enveloped his heart and he felt disgusted. Disgusted because he doubted his own friends.
”I won't blame you if you're paranoid. It's normal. Doubting people you are for is normal when you become sensitive to certain things about them. I too doubted you when I thought Jeremy was you - because if this a.s.shole! With his genius theory!” said Gibbs while slapping KJ's shoulder.
KJ smiled abashedly again. ”Desperate times call for desperate measures, dude. I was worried! If you choose to depart like Troll did.”
KJ suddenly fell silent. He moved his gaze towards somewhere else - wanting to hide his gloomy face. ”I miss Troll. Why did he go? This place… us… is it not enough to him?”
”Maybe he's afraid of being lonely. His roommate's not there,” Gibbs tried making an excuse, then looked at Khalil.
”Tch, he can just stay in our room. No problem!”
”That's enough. It's his decision. Just let it go,” advised Gibbs.
”It's easy for you to say. You have a girlfriend that came here to accompany you. Who do I even have…”
”Heh. Who told you to not settle down when you were still alive?” teased Gibbs.
”You know, your pigginess, from when you're still alive and even after you died, is still the same,” replied KJ.
Gibbs laughed and Khalil followed along.
Do you know that feeling? When having a thick blanket when the weather was cold because of the heavy rain outside? The comfortable feeling that needed no explanation?
That's how Khalil felt right now.
”Just look - because of my girlfriend, Ray here came back. If not, we can't even see him again,” added Gibbs.
”Ray already forgot about us,” said KJ.
”It's not like that…”
”Then why did you never come?” KJ interjected. ”Even when you came, you did it to wake Gibbs. Well, you only care for him after all.”
I don't know whether to laugh or to beat him up. Just like old times.
”How could I know that you're still here, idiot?” replied Khalil with a small laugh… followed by a formation of a pool of tears.
”How would you know if you don't come?” replied KJ.
Gibbs smiled. ”Give him a break, will you?”
KJ raised his hands as a sign of surrendering. Gibbs looked at Khalil while smiling - the smile that became Khalil's craze during his teens. Nothing changed.
”Why didn't you move on? Why didn't you follow Troll?”
The answer playing in Khalil's mind finally came out, along with a cloud of smoke.
”We could ask you the same thing,” said Gibbs.
”You're saying…?”
”Why didn't you move on? Why do you still feel guilty about what happened while you weren't the one who killed us?” asked Gibbs clearly.
Khalil was silent.
”You asked who trapped you in the room, right?” Gibbs said again. ”I think you did it to yourself. You're burdened with your guilt. To the point that your mind became your worst enemy.”
”Dang! Just because your girlfriend is a psychologist!” teased KJ.
Gibbs shrugged like he was bragging. But behind his bravado, Khalil, and only Khalil - saw the sadness within him. The sadness of not being able to finish school and continue on with his life. The life that Khalil knew, Gibbs already had them planned in his head. Getting a wife, a family a job - Gibbs who once upon a time wanted to become a family man, a dream he never dared tell his friends for fear of being mocked.
But Khalil knew. Khalil could easily understand Gibbs. And automatically, the problem to Khalil's question was easily solved.
”What about you? Until when do you plan to stay here?” Khalil moved to KJ.
KJ scratched is head like a kid who didn't know how to answer a question. ”I don't know. This is my territory. I'm at my peak here. I can prank people supernaturally. That's awesome you know?”
Khalil laughed while shaking his head.
Gibbs looked at Khalil with a stale smile while saying, ”You too should make the best choice for yourself, okay Ray?”
Khalil threw the cigarette b.u.t.t to the floor and stomped it. ”Choice? What choice do I have? Having life doesn't mean I can just live.”
”Don't be too artistic now,” teased KJ. ”You're living fine from what I can see. You've become a director, a scriptwriter for films now.”
Khalil just smiled bitterly.
Gibbs sighed. ”What I would give to be in your place, Ray. You can keep on living.”
”Without you guys, what's the point?”
Gibbs smiled mischievously. ”Then bring us with you too.”
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