Chapter 37 (1/2)
The next few days went by per usual - like the days before Deepa committed suicide in the auditorium. Gibbs became more cheerful as Ray started talking to him again. Because KJ was busy with his project, Gibbs automatically started hanging out inRay's room.
This mending relations.h.i.+p between Gibbs and Ray somehow disturbed KJ. Every time Gibbs invited KJ to go to Ray's room, KJ started giving excuses. It even seemed like he was asking for a fight. But Gibbs was too lazy to think about it. It's enough that he got back his two friends in going through senior year.
The problem was that this wasn't enough to satisfy a creature named KJ - and that evening, KJ went to the auditorium for a discussion with a human named Ray. KJ saw Ray's figure sitting at the backmost seat during a Drama Club's training session. He looked calm - but KJ could feel Ray's heart beating fast when KJ neared him.
KJ sat next to Ray. Ray lit a cigarette. KJ may not know Ray as well as Gibbs, but there's one habit of Ray that KJ knew: Ray would smoke when stressed.
”Don't think that I don't know what you're trying to do,” KJ's opening sentence was direct without any coating.
Ray smiled. ”What is it that I'm trying to do?”
KJ laughed. Cynically. ”You can lie to Gibbs but not me.”
”Who's lying to who right now?”
”Go die, Ray.”
”Yes. It's true that I want to die.”
KJ was silent. d.a.m.n. If I fight using words with Ray, I'd definitely get owned! This guy's an artist!
”You're already settled with your life, right? Why are you bothering our lives?” asked KJ.
”Am I really the one bothering people?”
KJ snorted. It's really hateful when Ray tossed back questions like this.
Ray glance at KJ. Not staring. Simply a glance. His lips were trembling, holding onto the cigarette. The fingers that removed the cigarette from the lips were also trembling. Ray puffed out smoke.
”Are you happy like this?” asked Ray.
”Why am I not?”
”Gibbs? You think he's happy?”
”He would be if you didn't interfere.”
”Really? Because I feel that Gibbs started feeling happy after I started talking back to him.”
”Yeah, you're the precious sweetheart of his,” quipped KJ.
”That's not what I mean…”
”Do you think that if Gibbs knew the truth, he wouldn’t be mad at you?” the question from KJ sent an arrow right through Ray's heart.
”Maybe he will be mad. But there wasn't a day where I'm not mad at myself because of that thing. That's why I'll accept it if Gibbs is mad.”
”Don't act like you're a victim of the situation…”
”You don't feel what I feel.”
”You want to say that you're suffering more? Do you want to change places with me?”