Part 34 (1/2)

'When he dies?'

'It's like I said I'll go dance on his grave.'

'You won't. You'll wish you'd seen him one last time. You'll wish you'd made your peace. My sister died. Pat, it matters when a person dies.'

'You loved your sister that's what matters. You're beating yourself up for failing Charlie. But that's not the problem, because deep in your heart you know you didn't fail your sister. You're sad because a person you loved very much is dead. I think you should forgive yourself, don't you?'

'Perhaps I'll try. Pat, do you feel better now?' she asked.

'Yeah, I do.' It was the truth, I did. It was like a burden had been lifted. I kissed her on the forehead. 'Thank you for hearing my confession.'

'It's no problem. Thank you very much for hearing mine.' Rosie looked at me. 'I expect you're hungry now? If you give me your mobile, I'll phone up for a pizza.'

'Let's get pizza later. Let's track down your cell. We might not have much time.'

ROSIE.

'You're going to need a magic spell,' I told him.

'So let's find one, then.'

It took him twenty seconds flat to find and then download an application which he said could send commands to my lost phone and get it to respond. 'I don't see how,' I muttered. 'It sounds like something out of Harry Potter. Accio phone that sort of thing? You command, my phone obeys?'

'Yeah, that's certainly the plan,' he told me, tapping on his keypad. 'So now you keep your fingers crossed, you knock on wood, you stroke your lucky rabbit's foot and you believe in magic.'

As I watched him tapping, I thought about the gasoline. I thought about the frightened little child, the one who wanted more than anything to help his mother, who confessed to save his mother, knowing he'd be beaten half to death as a result. I understood that this was courage. I also understood I should be kinder to my mother. If and when I got my phone back, she'd be the first person I would ring, and from now on I would be nice to Mum, however much she patronised and irritated me and told me how to live my life.

I would not forget that she'd lost someone precious, too.

'How's it going, Pat?' I asked.

'We're almost done.' He tapped more keys, looked up at me. 'Okay, I guess it's sorted.'

'You mean you've tracked it down?' I stared at him, astonished. 'You've really found my mobile?'

'No, not yet, it's going to take a while. So now we wait. Why don't you go put the kettle on?'

The first email arrived five minutes later as we were drinking coffee, followed by another message, then another, then three more. Then- 'Gotcha!' Pat exclaimed and punched the air.

'You've found it?'

'Yeah, I found it.'

'You really can do magic!'

'Well magic sometimes happens.'

'You are amazing, you know that?' I was so excited I spilled coffee on my lap. 'Where is it, then?'

'You had the good news, here's the bad.' He glanced up from the screen to look at me, his brown eyes serious and kind. 'I'm sorry, Rosie. If we're to believe the GPS, looks like your cell will be impossible to find.'

'Why's that?'

'See here.'

He turned the screen to show me and I could have wept. The GPS had pinpointed a London landfill site. 'But how on earth did it get there?' I wailed.

'Maybe someone stole it from your bag or pocket while you rode the subway, saw it was an older model, threw it in the trash?'

'No.' I cursed myself. 'I bought some sandwiches for lunch and ate them walking down the road. I stuffed the empty wrapper in my bag, but then I pulled it out again and chucked it as I pa.s.sed a bin. I must have thrown my phone away as well. Oh, I'm such an idiot!'

'Anybody could have done it, sweetheart. Do you want me to erase the card?'

'Yes, if you could?'

'You're sure?'

'I'm sure.'

'It will take a minute, couple minutes. I'll need to-'

'No.' I grabbed his hand. 'I've changed my mind.' I couldn't bear to think of Charlie being lost, erased. I thought that maybe one day someone working on the landfill site might find my phone, might even fire it up and track me down.

Magic sometimes happens, after all.

As we lay in bed later that night, I made a wish. I made three wishes, actually. I wished a university in the UK would offer Pat a job he didn't feel he could refuse. I wished his wife and children would also come to live in the UK with Lexie's bloke. Then if Pat and Lexie should decide to try again, if they renewed their vows, if they divorced, whatever I might still get to see him now and then.

So much for unrealistic expectations.

I wished he'd stay another week or two, which would not be unrealistic, would it? Or too greedy? Yes, it would.

'I'll come back,' he promised, as I sniffed and rubbed my eyes. 'Rosie, darling, please don't break your heart? I'm not worth it, surely?'

'You're worth everything to me!'

But I knew he had to go and, two days after he had found my phone, he flew back home to Minnesota.

July.

PATRICK.

My work at London University was done. My flight was booked and, two days after Rosie lost her phone, I flew back to Minneapolis, where I was congratulated by the dean and told I'd been a great amba.s.sador for JQA.

So I did one thing right.

While I was on the plane, I thought about that video on Rosie's phone. She'd told me to erase the card, then said not to erase it. I wouldn't have erased it anyway, even if she'd said to wipe it, just in case she'd changed her mind again. I didn't want to break her heart.