Part 17 (1/2)

If you have any time to spare, I'd love to hear your news.

All best wishes Rosie X FROM: Patrick M Riley SUBJECT: Re: Merry Christmas!

TO: Rosie Denham SENT: December 22 19.35 Hi Rosie I'm okay, hope you are, too.

How's your new venture doing good?

You have yourself a very merry Christmas and a great New Year.

Sincerely Pat It had no literary merit, but at least it didn't rhyme.

Mom was disappointed not to see the kids on Christmas. As usual, she flew into MSP. As usual, I met her at the airport. As usual, she was thrilled to see me, hugged me, kissed me, told me I was much too thin and needed feeding up.

But the kids weren't in the backseat yelling Granny, Granny, Granny, Granny, we fixed you some cookies, and what did you bring us, and we got a monster Christmas tree, and this made her sad.

'That Alexis, what's she thinking?' Mom demanded as we drove to the apartment, which of course was quiet and had been not been tinselled-up for Christmas. The living room was full of books and papers, magazines and binders lying in great piles everywhere.

'It's like I told you, Mom. She needs some s.p.a.ce.'

'Where exactly is she staying now?'

'She's with a friend who has a house.'

'Where is this house?'

'It's on Grand Avenue.'

'I hope the furnace works so Poll and Joe are cosy.'

'I'm sure the furnace works.'

I wasn't going to tell my mother everything. She'd only start to cry and I couldn't stand to hear my mother cry. It took me back to when I was a little kid and times were bad real bad.

So I didn't tell her Lexie's friend was Mr Wonderful and they were taking Joe and Polly to see Santa Claus at the North Pole, which was temporarily someplace in upstate Minnesota. Lex had told the kids about it and of course she got them all excited before she thought to share this information with their father. I would have looked like the world's biggest, meanest b.a.s.t.a.r.d if I'd told them no, they couldn't go.

'So while Lexie has her s.p.a.ce, you don't get to see your kids on Christmas,' my mother went on crossly.

'They'll be with us Thursday. Lex says they can come to the apartment and stay over. So you and I can take them to the zoo, the mall, the children's theatre and the park.'

'I hope that girl comes to her senses soon, remembers what she said in church. Pat, is Polly still in diapers? Did you get the turkey yet?'

'I got the turkey.'

'You don't look too good. You hair wants cutting. You're working much too hard. You always did. You need ...'

I zoned out of my mother's monologue.

It would be like this for a while, I realised. My poor mother fretting, fretting, fretting, worrying about me and my kids, convinced we must be suffering.

She would do her nut where did I hear that, it had to be a Tess expression when she realised Lex was living with a man, information she'd be given by Joe the moment she and Joe met up.

Yeah, I had been suffering.

But no one goes on suffering forever. It's too pa.s.sive. It gets kind of tedious. Nowadays, I was working on how I could turn my life around.

It started snowing very heavily. I concentrated on the road. After my mother went to bed that night, I made some calls.

ROSIE.

My mother was determined that this would be a normal family Christmas, the kind we'd always had since I was born.

I wished I could sleep through it in the flat in London, waking up in January when it was all over. But of course I went back home to Dorset.

Dad fetched the great big box of decorations from the attic and we put them up, tacking tinsel garlands everywhere and hanging baubles on the Christmas tree. Mum had cooked herself into a frenzy, making everything from scratch mince pies, Christmas puddings and a frosted wonder of a Christmas cake, special stuffing for the Christmas turkey, home-made cranberry sauce. The house was soon so styled and Christma.s.sed-up that it looked like something in a December issue of a woman's magazine.

Christmas Eve was gruesome. Mum and Dad were very quiet. My mother was determined not to cry and in the evening Dad got out the usual party games. He'd evidently decided we all had to be jolly, which under the circ.u.mstances was impossible.

On Christmas morning, my grandmother and mother went to early Ma.s.s. My father drove them into Dorchester. I suppose he hung about outside St Luke's and smoked, or walked around the town while Mum and Granny were in church and praying for us all. I stayed in bed.

When Granny got back home again she seemed quite calm and placid. I'd even say serene. It probably helped that she believed in heaven, that she was certain Charlie was an angel there. My mother probably thought the same. But this didn't help my dad and me.

While Granny dozed and Mum cooked an enormous Christmas lunch I knew we'd have to force ourselves to eat, Dad and I got drunk.

January.

PATRICK.

The New Year brought the Limey a promotion. I read about it on the company website, where there was a brand new mug shot of his grinning face, complete with crooked teeth.

But I didn't care about the Limey.

I had a ton of plans.

Late one weekday evening as I was about to watch a favourite cla.s.sic movie before I went to bed, Lexie came by the apartment, out of breath from slogging up the fourteen flights of stairs. She obviously wasn't getting any exercise, that's apart from flying with Mr Wonderful.

'You're not going to like this,' she began as she slumped into an armchair, scarlet in the face and gasping like a landed fish. 'But, if you remember, I told you it was possible the kids and I would get the chance to travel? Stephen's job, it takes him to the Middle East and Europe?'

'I remember.'

'He has to do a bunch of work stuff in London, England soon. He'd like to bring the kids and me along. It would only be for a few months. I know you'll be difficult about it.'

'Oh?'

'Yeah, you'll call the Feds, have me arrested for kidnapping your children. But Stephen says it would be a fantastic opportunity for them. It would be educational. They'd get to see the changing of the guard at Windsor Palace, visit Notre Dame and meet the hunchback.'

'I think you ought to go to Europe, Lex.'