Part 10 (1/2)

'How extremely generous of him.'

'Pat, don't be so childish, please? If we both behave like we're adults, if everybody can be civilised, this whole thing will be much easier for all concerned.'

'Yeah, easier for you and Mr Wonderful, perhaps. But maybe it's not quite so fine and dandy for the kids and me.'

I'd thought I might see Rosie on the weekend, find out how she was doing, if her foot was better now. But didn't I want to see my children? Yes, of course I did. So possibly we could head over no, I couldn't take the kids to Ben's. They'd wreck the place. Polly would leave sticky marks or worse on everything. Joe would go maul all Ben's memorabilia of the Minnesota Twins or break one of his precious gadgets Ben is the original Gadget Man, yet he calls me a geek and then there would be blood.

So when Ben called me up, suggested dinner, I said I couldn't make it. Sorry, I was busy. Yeah, for the whole weekend.

'You fixed yourself up with some dates?'

'You got it.'

'Man, I'm proud of you! Who are the lucky girls?'

'Beyonce's stopping by and bringing Katy Perry. I made a gallon of tequila slammers so we're going to have a blast. I'm watching Joe and Polly. I'd have liked to come-'

'But Lex has spoken.'

I didn't know my kids had so much stuff.

Well, I guess I did. It all lived here not so long ago. It was just seeing it dumped in one great pile on the carpet in the living room that made me double-take.

Stroller, clothes and toys and diapers why is Polly still in diapers, shouldn't she be out of them by now, she's almost three backpacks, special mugs and plates, special cus.h.i.+ons, special pillows, special comforters. I could have stocked a store.

'Be good for Daddy.' Lexie kissed them both goodbye. 'Joseph, don't forget to brush your teeth, and just quit trying to get that loose one out until it's good and ready. Polly, when you need the bathroom, tell your daddy, don't-'

'We'll be fine,' I said, wondering if Mr Wonderful was going to show his face, make my acquaintance?

It soon became apparent he was not. What was his problem? I thought we were being civilised? Did that not mean if we should meet I had to shake the b.a.s.t.a.r.d by the hand? Yeah, right, in Lexie's dreams. I'd sooner- 'Patrick, are you listening?' Lexie's voice stabbed into my reflections. 'No fast food no shakes, no sodas, ice creams, burgers, pizzas, chicken fingers, do you hear me?'

'Yeah, I hear you.'

'No grilled cheese sandwiches for Joe because they're way too high in salt and remember Polly is allergic to anything with soy in it. I think she might be getting a wheat intolerance, too.'

'What is the kid allowed to eat?'

'Oh, a ton of stuff! Most fruit except for strawberries don't give her any strawberries most vegetables, all oat-and-corn-and-rice-based products, any kind of salad.'

'So, this wheat intolerance, how do I find out-'

'All you need to do is check that everything you give these kids I think Joe is getting to be wheat intolerant too is gluten-free. It will say so on the labelling. Oh, and please don't get them any fries.'

'Say goodbye to Mommy,' I told Joe and Polly.

'Goodbye, Mom,' said Joe, while Polly chewed her thumb and gazed from me to Lex with big round puzzled eyes.

'Do as Daddy tells you now,' said Lexie. 'I'll see you guys on Sunday.'

'You happy to be home, kids?' I asked when Lex had gone.

'I guess,' said Joe and shrugged unhappily. 'But my stuff's all gone, except my bed, and Mom says home's with her and Stephen now. Dad, I want to see The Terminator.'

'Yeah, you go say hey. He missed you, Joe.'

'I missed him, too.'

The Terminator hadn't moved to Mr Wonderful's real house with its real yard. Lex said Mr Wonderful was phobic when it came to rats and mice and hamsters, all those little guys with tails and whiskers.

What a coward.

Joe went to check his rodent out. Polly stood there looking lost, bewildered, and my heart ached for my baby girl. I scooped her up and held her tight, inhaling her sweet cotton candy scent.

'What shall we do?' I asked her as she threaded chubby, sticky fingers through my hair, something she had done since she was tiny. 'We could watch a movie, play a game? Or read a book?'

'I'm hungry, Daddy.'

'Let's go get pizza, then. Joe, what do you say to pizza, ice cream floats and fries?'

'We can get pizza, Dad?' Joe frowned, confused. 'Mommy said no pizza.'

'I'm not Mommy.'

'We can have four seasons?'

'Yeah, Joe, sure we can or even five.'

'Dad, you're so dumb, there's only four.' Joe managed a wan smile. 'The Terminator's doing great,' he added. 'You took good care of him.'

'Yeah,' I said, 'we're buddies, me and the little guy.'

'Pizza, Daddy?' Polly said, reminding me.

'Okay, let's. .h.i.t the road.'

After pizza, ice cream floats and fries, we picked up a bunch of movies. Then we headed back to the apartment in the trash-mobile.

We watched Toy Story, Cinderella, Shrek. I told the kids a story, gave them supper Lex-approved this time. I got them into their pyjamas and then put them to bed.

When I woke on Sat.u.r.day, I found them piled on top of me like puppies, lying in a grunting, snorting heap. I shoved them off of me. Then we had a pillow fight and then I fixed some breakfast. I decided we would have a super-duper day, as Rosie Denham why couldn't I stop thinking about Rosie, I already told myself to quit would maybe put it?

'What do you guys want to do?' I asked them, making with the democratic process but reserving my own right of veto in case they wanted to go play with lions or travel into outer s.p.a.ce.

'Be a fairy, Daddy,' Polly told me.

'She means she wants to wear her wings,' said Joe disgustedly. 'They're in her Barbie backpack.'

As I pinned Polly's bright pink glittery wings on to her bright pink sweats.h.i.+rt, Joe started snickering. 'Poll, now you're a fat pink bug,' he said. 'Poll, you look like-'

'Joe, shut up. What do you want to be?'