Volume Iv Part 50 (1/2)

If, of all words of tongue and pen, The saddest are, ”It might have been,”

More sad are these we daily see: ”It is, but hadn't ought to be.”

Bret Harte [1839-1902]

THE MODERN HIAWATHA From ”The Song of Milkanwatha”

He killed the n.o.ble Mudjokivis, With the skin he made him mittens, Made them with the fur side inside, Made them with the skin side outside, He, to get the warm side inside, Put the inside skin side outside: He, to get the cold side outside, Put the warm side fur side inside: That's why he put the fur side inside, Why he put the skin side outside, Why he turned them inside outside.

George A. Strong [1832-1912]

HOW OFTEN After Longfellow

They stood on the bridge at midnight, In a park not far from the town; They stood on the bridge at midnight, Because they didn't sit down.

The moon rose o'er the city, Behind the dark church spire; The moon rose o'er the city, And kept on rising higher.

How often, oh! how often They whispered words so soft; How often, oh! how often, How often, oh! how oft.

Ben King [1857-1894]

”IF I SHOULD DIE TO-NIGHT”

After Arabella Eugenia Smith

If I should die to-night And you should come to my cold corpse and say, Weeping and heartsick o'er my lifeless clay-- If I should die to-night, And you should come in deepest grief and woe-- And say: ”Here's that ten dollars that I owe,”

I might arise in my large white cravat And say, ”What's that?”

If I should die to-night And you should come to my cold corpse and, kneel, Clasping my bier to show the grief you feel, I say, if I should die to-night And you should come to me, and there and then Just even hint at paying me that ten, I might arise the while, But I'd drop dead again.

Ben King [1857-1894]

SINCERE FLATTERY Of W. W. (America.n.u.s)

The clear cool note of the cuckoo which has ousted the legitimate nest-holder, The whistle of the railway guard dispatching the train to the inevitable collision, The maiden's monosyllabic reply to a polysyllabic proposal, The fundamental note of the last trump, which is presumably D natural; All of these are sounds to rejoice in, yea, to let your very ribs re-echo with: But better than all of them is the absolutely last chord of the apparently inexhaustible pianoforte player.

James Kenneth Stephen [1859-1892]

CULTURE IN THE SLUMS Inscribed To An Intense Poet

I. RONDEAU ”O crikey, Bill!” she ses to me, she ses.

”Look sharp,” ses she, ”with them there sossiges.

Yea! sharp with them there bags of mysteree!

For lo!” she ses, ”for lo! old pal,” ses she, ”I'm blooming peckish, neither more nor less.”