Volume Iv Part 38 (1/2)
Thus Kitty, beautiful and young, And wild as colt untamed, Bespoke the fair from whence she sprung, With little rage inflamed:
Inflamed with rage at sad restraint, Which wise mamma ordained; And sorely vexed to play the saint, Whilst wit and beauty reigned:
”Shall I thumb holy books, confined With Abigails, forsaken?
Kitty's for other things designed, Or I am much mistaken.
”Must Lady Jenny frisk about, And visit with her cousins?
At b.a.l.l.s must she make all the rout, And bring home hearts by dozens?
”What has she better, pray, than I, What hidden charms to boast, That all mankind for her should die, Whilst I am scarce a toast?
”Dearest mamma! for once let me, Unchained, my fortune try; I'll have my earl as well as she, Or know the reason why.
”I'll soon with Jenny's pride quit score, Make all her lovers fall: They'll grieve I was not loosed before; She, I was loosed at all.”
Fondness prevailed, mamma gave way; Kitty, at heart's desire, Obtained the chariot for a day, And set the world on fire.
Matthew Prior [1664-1721]
THE LURE
”What bait do you use,” said a Saint to the Devil, ”When you fish where the souls of men abound?”
”Well, for special tastes,” said the King of Evil, ”Gold and Fame are the best I've found.”
”But for general use?” asked the Saint. ”Ah, then,”
Said the Demon, ”I angle for Man, not men, And a thing I hate Is to change my bait, So I fish with a woman the whole year round.”
John Boyle O'Reilly [1844-1890]
THE FEMALE OF THE SPECIES
When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride, He shouts to scare the monster, who will often turn aside; But the she-bear thus accosted rends the peasant tooth and nail, For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.
When Nag, the wayside cobra, hears the careless foot of man, He will sometimes wriggle sideways and avoid it if he can; But his mate makes no such motion where she camps beside the trail, For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.
When the early Jesuit fathers preached to Hurons and Choctaws, They prayed to be delivered from the vengeance of the squaws.
'Twas the women, not the warriors, turned those stark enthusiasts pale, For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.
Man's timid heart is bursting with the things he must not say, For the Woman that G.o.d gave him isn't his to give away; But when hunter meets with husband, each confirms the other's tale-- The female of the species is more deadly than the male.
Man, a bear in most relations--worm and savage otherwise,-- Man propounds negotiations, Man accepts the compromise.
Very rarely will he squarely push the logic of a fact To its ultimate conclusion in unmitigated act.
Fear, or foolishness, impels him, ere he lay the wicked low, To concede some form of trial even to his fiercest foe.