Part 18 (2/2)

We finished together, our eyes locked the entire time. It was raw and intense and I fantasized about doing it again and again until our bodies were completely spent. That was what had been missing the entire time between us; loving one another with abandon.

Afterward, I curled into his side and he brushed the hair away from my eyes. I rested my chin on his chest and smiled at him. He craned his neck and kissed the tip of my nose.

”Not to inflate your ego or anything, but that was ... wow,” I murmured.

”I'm not going to lie. I'm feeling very manly right now after seeing how hot I get you.” His teasing tone caressed my ears and I closed my eyes.

I could have stayed that way forever: loving him, being loved by him. I might never be perfect, but I fit perfectly with him.

Chapter Thirty-Two.

”Kayla, when you said we should visit your father, I was figuring you meant we were going to the cemetery,” Cameron said as I parked my Jeep. Without a reply, I jumped out and walked around to the back of the car. After opening the trunk, I handed him two fis.h.i.+ng poles. I carried the tackle box while using my free hand to slam the trunk close again.

Cameron was close on my heels as I stomped over the graveled parking lot. ”I thought the only reason I never went to the cemetery was because I refused to accept my dad's death. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized he wouldn't be there. My dad hated cemeteries as much as I did. If I wanted to be close to him, I should go somewhere he loved.” I motioned to our surroundings. ”This lake was my dad's favorite fis.h.i.+ng spot. Lila and I have been coming here since we were babies.”

Cameron stopped and took time to appreciate the surroundings. It was a small, secluded lake shrouded from the nearby highway by a line of towering pines. There was a small beach where Lila and I would wade while my dad casted nearby. We would bring a picnic lunch and run and swim for the day. I did a quick scan of the perimeter. ”I only see a couple of anglers across the lake, so we'll stay on this end. Since it's the end of August, we're fis.h.i.+ng for ba.s.s. Trout season doesn't start until the end of the month.”

He c.o.c.ked his head and grinned at me. ”Did I ever tell you how s.e.xy it is to hear you talk like a middle-aged fisherman?”

I playfully shoved him. Then I reached into my beach bag to pull out a picnic blanket. ”We could set up here.”

Once we'd unloaded the fis.h.i.+ng gear, I reached out for his hand and squeezed it. ”Thanks for coming with me today. I wanted to remember the fun I had with my dad and not dwell on the bad stuff.”

”I wish I could've met him. I'd like to thank him for having such an incredible daughter.” Without fail, Cameron would say something utterly perfect and remind me again why I fell in love with him.

”He'd be a huge fan of yours. Besides the fact you're a lover of dogs and cars, you would win him over with how you treat his daughter like a princess.” My chest tightened momentarily, but I'd learned to allow myself to grieve for my dad instead of rejecting my feelings.

After a minute, Cameron broke the silence. ”I got a call for an interview next week. The position is for an a.s.sistant in the HR department of a consulting firm.”

I squealed. ”That's amazing! I thought you only sent out your resume a few days ago. That must be a good sign if you're already getting calls.”

Cameron wanted to eventually have his own business, but he acknowledged the goal was likely to be years away. In the meantime, he only wanted to find a job where he didn't feel the urge to turn to hard liquor to get through most days.

”You'll have to help me brush up on my interview skills.” He shot me an overzealous grin. ”Hi, I'm Cameron Bennett, and if you hire me it'll be the best decision you ever made for this company.”

I b.u.mped my hip against his leg and giggled. ”You're interviewing for a job, not trying to sell a used car.”

”Okay, I'll try to bring it down a notch. I don't want to reek of desperation,” he said.

I sat on the blanket and Cameron squeezed next to me. I rested my head on his shoulder and watched the sun reflect off the surface of the still water. I brought my father's face to my mind and welcomed his presence. Maybe he was with me, watching out for me. Since meeting Cameron, I had started believing in fate. And maybe my father had a hand in bringing an incredible guy into my life.

”I was thinking ...” Cameron started uncertainly. At my questioning look, he continued, ”I was thinking of seeing my mom. You know, my real mom.”

”Oh?” I prompted gently. His relations.h.i.+p with his mother was a landmine I had to tread carefully over. Thinking of the cavernous hole she had left in her son's heart made me resent her. But I also understood Cameron would have that pain to carry with him until he dealt with the past.

”I do have a lot of pent-up s.h.i.+t I want to say to her. And you were right. I'm not over everything. My dad gave me these books of hers she left behind and that's how I found the Vonnegut pa.s.sage. I read those books over and over again, trying to get inside her head, trying to make sense of why she made the decisions she did.” I gripped the hem of his s.h.i.+rt and moved the fabric away to reveal his tattoo. I stroked it as he continued to speak. ”So, it's probably going to suck and be awkward, but I was hoping you'd come with me when I see her.”

”Of course,” I said. His head tilted toward me and he kissed me gently. ”I love you.” I hadn't been able to say it for ages, but the words kept slipping from my lips as if my heart was trying to make up for all the time it had been closed off.

”I love you,” he said. ”But I still plan to catch a bigger fish than you.”

”Want to bet on it?” I challenged. ”Loser has to clean and filet the day's catch.”

”Fine, you're on,” he agreed.

As we started preparing our lines, I peeked at him. His blue eyes were filled with mischief and he was trying to hide an ecstatic smile. His att.i.tude was contagious, and I found myself beaming. His movements were confident and strong, and the way he held himself was s.e.xy as h.e.l.l.

He was it for me. He didn't cause a mere fluttering in my belly, he ignited explosions. I was lucky to be with a guy who not only loved me, but who also helped me appreciate my body again. Instead of despising what was on the outside, I found myself daydreaming over what Cameron would do at night to my body.

Having an eating disorder was an ugly thing, but I had survived it. I didn't become a tragedy, a warning to girls of what happens when you starve yourself for beauty. At the end, I'd chosen love.

And each time I stumbled, each time I felt the urge to deny my body what it needed to be healthy, I would remind myself of that choice.

The End.

For questions or recovery a.s.sistance:.

National Eating Disorders a.s.sociation.

1-800-931-2237..

e a better writer.

My parents and sisters, thanks for your awesomeness and allowing me to put parts of you in my novels.

To the rest of my friends and family, I love you all and will be eternally grateful for how much you've helped me succeed.

To Jo, thanks for your work on the book and for always be a supporter for aspiring and indie writers.

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