Part 2 (1/2)
I am serious. I am going to lose my life in a few weeks and I just want to spend as much time as I can with you. Please, please stop trying to fight the inevitable...
I want so much to say my thoughts out loud, but I know it will only upset him. So once again, I play along.
”So what is it about this story that you think could help?”
”The Amulet. If it's still around, maybe it will give me enough power to somehow get the Dy out of you.”
”It's just a story. It's not real.”
”Noah's real. He was at the Summit.”
”It's a fable. Some parts are true and some aren't. I mean blue rain? C'mon. How strong would your pain have to be to drain the blue from the sky?”
”I know but sometimes there are clues in stories. In songs...”
”And even if it was, I'm sure Lucy would have destroyed the Amulet along with Demetri,” I protest.
”I just thought...”
”What?”
”I don't know,” he admits sadly.
”We have traveled to far-off villages looking for accent elixirs that would help and we found nothing. We sought out powerful Paras in Daraquin, we even went to an eye doctor,” I pled.
He looks up at me, and even in Difi, he was in better sprits. I sit on his lap and look into his eyes. Even the thought of getting to kiss him causes my heart to leap. He leans in and presses his soft lips against mine. Blood rushes to my face. A familiar, delicious spark zooms down my spine. I kiss his bottom lip and go in hungrily for more.
Suddenly he breaks off the connection.
”What's wrong?”
”There's a book I read last week-where is it?” He practically throws me off of him and rummages around in the stack of books.
”Marcus, enough,” I beg.
”Wait, there's just one more thing I need to look up-”
”Enough.”
”No. I'm close to-”
”I SAID ENOUGH!” I take the book in his hand and hurl it across the room.
He looks at me, puzzled.
”I can't do this anymore.”
”Emmy-”
”NO. I have sat here for weeks watching you tear the world apart looking for hope where there isn't any. You cannot save me. I am going to die.”
”You aren't going to die”
”I know this is difficult. I know it hurts you. But it's my death and you're leaving me with no room to grieve. Every second of the day I have to think about putting up a brave face for you. I'm tired. I'm so tired.”
”Emmy, I-”
”Stop holding on to hope, or clues or fables.”
”Then what the h.e.l.l else am I suppose to hold on to?”
”Me.”
”You don't want me to hold you. You want me to say goodbye to you.”
”You were going to have to leave me anyway.”
”That is not the same thing,” he protests.
”Why not?”
”When we go into the Light, you're still supposed to be alive. You can still have a life after us. After me.”
”After you? You think there's something ”after” us?”
”The point is we were supposed to come here, get the map and let you go on with your life. You aren't supposed to die.”
”Neither was Reese or Sara or my mother. But they did. They died and I will, too. Nothing you do is going to change that.”
”Why are you so okay with dying? What is so wrong with your life?”
”I'm not okay with dying, but I am also not okay with spending the time I have left scouring old books.”
”What if there is something here that can help you?”
”What if there isn't?”
”I won't accept that.”
”You have to be realistic.”
”You want me to tell you that I am okay with you dying; I'm okay with being the one who ends your life.”