Part 7 (1/2)
Rafe wanted to simultaneously haul Nikki to his side and punch any dragon-s.h.i.+fter who dared to castigate Nikki for wanting to be more than the mother of X amount of children.
Her reluctance was starting to make a h.e.l.l of a lot more sense.
”Nikki.” When she met his gaze again, he continued, ”You're a clever, strong, and stubborn woman. Why the b.l.o.o.d.y h.e.l.l are you allowing others to get under your skin? You shouldn't care what they think, symbol or not. There's more than one way to give hope to your clan. h.e.l.l, you might even be able to change the status quo for other female dragon-s.h.i.+fters, allowing them the choice to work or not while also being a mother.”
”That's easy for you to say. You didn't grow up in a small, self-contained community for the majority of your life. Causing strife with a few prominent individuals on Stonefire can make my life h.e.l.l.”
”I still say f.u.c.k them and live your life how you want.” Rafe moved to sit directly in front of Nikki, with only inches separating their legs from each other. ”Right here, right now, tell me what you would want if no one else in the world had a say.”
She looked at him askance. ”Hard to do considering you're breathing down my neck.”
”Don't deflect with sarcasm,” he growled out. ”What does Nikki Gray want for her future?”
”I don't know,” she murmured. ”Beyond proving myself as Protector, I've never actually given it any thought.”
”Well, then think about it now,” he ordered.
Fire flashed in Nikki's eyes. ”For one, I don't want you ordering me about all the time.”
The corner of his mouth ticked up. ”Not even a little?”
”Rafe.”
Putting his hands up, he full on smiled. ”Okay, okay. We can discuss your total obedience to all things Rafe-related later.” She glared daggers and he chuckled. ”Is it wrong that I like it when you're angry with flushed cheeks and piercing eyes?”
Sighing, Nikki tucked a section of hair behind her ear. ”I'm going to ignore that last bit and just say that I want to be head Protector some day. But I also want to take care of my dad and Delphine. They're overprotective and difficult at times, but they're my family.”
”So, family is important to you?” Rafe asked.
”Yes,” she answered. ”Very important. It's pretty much a common trait amongst dragon-s.h.i.+fters of the non-a.r.s.ehole variety.”
Placing his hand over hers, he squeezed. ”It's important to me as well. So, maybe you can understand why I want to keep our baby, Nikki.”
He watched her pupils flash. He really wished he could hear what the b.l.o.o.d.y dragon half was saying.
But Rafe wasn't going to rush or put pressure on Nikki. He merely waited in silence, keeping her hand in his.
When her pupils remained round, Nikki tilted her head. ”I have a proposition.”
”This became rather formal all of a sudden.” At Nikki's glare, he sighed. ”Fine, what is this proposition of yours? If it involves tying me up, I might be up for it.”
”This is serious, Rafe. Can you be quiet for two seconds?” He opened his mouth and closed it promptly with a nod. Nikki rolled her eyes for the umpteenth time and continued, ”I have nearly nine months before I have to decide what to do. In that time, I want to keep working on the Simon Bourne mission. If you don't give me any bulls.h.i.+t and let me do my job, then we'll have another discussion closer to the due date about keeping and raising the child together. Provided, of course, we haven't killed each other. However, if you start pulling the alpha male bulls.h.i.+t and treat me like a delicate flower, I will find a way to get you kicked off Stonefire and make the decision on my own of what to do with the baby.”
He raised his brows. ”So this means I don't have to be extra nice to you and that you can't use being pregnant as an excuse for being cranky or tired?”
”Exactly,” she answered with a nod.
Rafe had heard more than his fair share of pregnant wife stories during his time in the army. A small part of him looked forward to pus.h.i.+ng Nikki's b.u.t.tons and her not being able to use the ”I'm pregnant” excuse.
On the other hand, Rafe liked to take care of his own. Jane, more than anyone, understood his desire to protect. Never being able to care for Nikki would drive him crazy.
Clearing his throat, he said, ”I'd like to propose a compromise.” At Nikki's frown, he spat out the rest quickly. ”I will treat you as I always do unless you are in actual pain or in a situation that might cause harm to the child. I'm not about to watch you try to force yourself to stay awake for three days for a training exercise. You need to take care of yourself.”
”It already sounds like you're placing limits.”
He put a palm up. ”Look, I'm being honest here. I can't do anything else. If I asked you never to s.h.i.+ft into a dragon and fly again, could you do it? No. It's an ingrained part of who you are. I'm the same way with protectiveness; I won't stand by and watch someone intentionally cause harm to themselves. I won't try to change you, but you need to accept me as well.”
As he waited for Nikki to answer, Rafe breathed evenly to prevent himself from fidgeting. He was used to giving orders and having them followed. It'd been far too long since he'd had to wait for someone else to decide his future. Yes, the army could send him anywhere in a split second, but this was different. Nikki's decision would affect not only him but also their child.
He only hoped she agreed to the compromise and gave him a chance. Ever since Rafe accepted he would soon be a father, he couldn't imagine anything else. He wanted a family. Would Nikki give him a chance?
He nearly frowned at that, but caught himself in time and waited for Nikki's answer.
Nikki tried to figure out what to do. A small part of her would like to wake up to Rafe every day and get to know everything about him. For one, she wanted to know more about his friend who had been killed in action back in Afghanistan.
And yet, she knew firsthand that Rafe was a dominant, protective male. If she agreed to let him be himself, she might regret it. Especially if they grew close and she started to fall for him again, only to turn around and have him shatter her heart.
Her beast groaned. Stop overthinking it. Give him a chance. True mates can be a dragon's best chance for happiness.
”Can” being the operative word there.
He will also understand our occasional nightmares.
Nikki often dreamed of her time as a prisoner of the dragon hunters. It had been almost a year since her captivity, but being tied to a chair and ”coerced” into talking lingered with her to the present.
Had Rafe been captured in the past? Maybe he could understand more than most others.
Rafe spoke again, his voice soft. ”I don't want to rush you, but your parents are no doubt waiting for us. Not to mention Bram and probably my sister might drop by any second. I don't want to face them until I know how you want to proceed.”
”You'd stay here until I made a decision?”
Nodding, he squeezed her hand. ”I would. I might be a stubborn b.a.s.t.a.r.d, but I'm a patient one. I wouldn't be planning months-long operations if I weren't.”
Give him a chance, her dragon repeated.
As she stared at Rafe's large hand engulfing hers, Nikki made her decision. ”Okay, we'll go with the compromise-you not trying to keep me from my work as long as it doesn't endanger mine or the baby's health.” Triumph flashed Rafe's eyes, and Nikki narrowed hers. ”Act c.o.c.ky now and I don't care who is in the next room, I will make Mr. Happy very unhappy.”
”Stop calling my d.i.c.k that.”
”No way. It's too much fun to tease you.”
”Is that so?” Rafe lunged at her and rolled until she was on her back on the floor, with his body caging hers. ”You're my prisoner now, so maybe we can renegotiate the name.”
Reaching out, Nikki did something she'd wanted to do since the frenzy hit and tickled his sides.
Rafe yelped, but quickly recovered. He tried to capture her wrists, but Nikki used the split-second opening to grab his neck with her arm and roll them over. For good measure, she flipped him over and tightened her arm around his neck.