Part 5 (1/2)

Her Majesty gave people presents according to the way they gave her. We had yellow sheets of paper and wrote out the names of those to whom she wished to give. That day Her Majesty was very angry with one of the wives of a certain Prince because her presents were the poorest. Her Majesty told me to keep that tray in her room and said she would go over them and see what they were. I knew she was not pleased, for she had a telltale face. She told us to measure the silks and ribbons in that tray, and leave it in the hall. The ribbons were all of different lengths, all too short to trim a gown, and the dress materials were not of good quality. Her Majesty said to me: ”Now you look for yourself.

Are these good presents? I know very well all these things were given to them by other people and they of course would select the best for themselves, and give me what was left. They know they are obliged to send me something. I am surprised to see how careless they are. Probably they thought as I receive so many presents I would not notice. They are mistaken, for I notice the poorest the first, in fact I can remember everything. I can see those who gave me things in order to please me, and those who gave because they were obliged to. I will return them the same way.” She gave the Court ladies each a beautiful embroidered gown and a few hundred taels, the same to the Young Empress and the Secondary wife. The presents which she gave us were a little different, consisting of two embroidered gowns, several simple ones, jackets and sleeveless jackets, shoes, and flowers for the Manchu headdress. She said that we had not so many gowns, and instead of giving us the money, she had things made for us. Besides that, she gave me a pair of very pretty earrings, but none to my sister, for she noticed that I had a pair of ordinary gold earrings, while my sister had a pair set with pearls and jade. Her Majesty said to my mother: ”Yu Tai Tai. I can see you love one daughter better than the other. Roonling has such pretty earrings and poor Derling has none.” Before my mother could answer her she had turned to me while I was standing at the back of her chair: ”I will have a nice pair made for you. You are mine now.” My mother told her that I did not like to wear heavy earrings. Her Majesty laughed and said: ”Never mind, she is mine now, and I will give her everything she needs. You have nothing to do with her.” The earrings she gave me were very heavy. Her Majesty said that if I would wear them every day I would get used to them, and so it proved that after some time I thought nothing of it.

Now about this Feast. It is also called the Dragon Boat Feast. The fifth of the fifth moon at noon was the most poisonous hour for the poisonous insects, and reptiles such as frogs, lizards, snakes, hide themselves in the mud, for that hour they are paralyzed. Some medical men search for them at that hour and place them in jars, and when they are dried, sometime use them as medicine. Her Majesty told me this, so that day I went all over everywhere and dug into the ground, but found nothing. The usual custom was that at noon Her Majesty took a small cup filled with spirits of wine, and added a kind of yellow powder (something like sulphur). She took a small brush and dipped it into the cup and made a few spots of this yellow paint under our nostrils and ears. This was to prevent any insects from crawling on us during the coming summer. The reason why it was also called the Dragon Boat Festival was because at the time of the Chou Dynasty the country was divided into several parts.

Each place had a ruler. The Emperor Chou had a Prime Minister named Chi Yuan, who advised him to make alliance with the other six countries, but the Emperor refused, and Chi Yuan thought that the country would be taken by others in the near future. He could not influence the Emperor, so he made up his mind to commit suicide and jumped into the river, taking a large piece of stone with him. This happened on the fifth day of the fifth moon, so the year afterwards, the Emperor got into a Dragon boat to wors.h.i.+p his soul, and throw rice cakes, called Tzu Tsi, into the river. On that day the people have celebrated this feast ever since.

At the Palace the theatre played first this history, which was very interesting, and also played the insects trying to hide themselves before the most poisonous hour arrived. On that day we all wore tiger shoes, the front part of which was made of a tiger's head, with little tigers made of yellow silk to wear on the headdress. These tigers were only for the children to wear, and signified that they would be as strong as a tiger, but Her Majesty wanted us to wear them also. The wives of the Manchu officials came to the Court, and when they saw us they laughed at us. We told them it was by Her Majesty's orders.

A register recording the birthdays of all the Court ladies was kept by the head eunuch, and a few days before my own birthday came around, the tenth day of the fifth moon, he informed me that the custom of the Court was to make a present to Her Majesty and said that the present should take the form of fruit, cakes, etc., so I ordered eight boxes of different kinds.

Early in the morning I put on full Court dress, and made myself look as nice as possible and went to wish Her Majesty good morning. When she had finished dressing, the eunuchs brought in the presents and, kneeling, I presented them to Her Majesty, bowing to the ground nine times. She thanked me and wished me a happy birthday. She then made me a present of a pair of sandalwood bracelets, beautifully carved, also a few rolls of brocade silk. She also informed me that she had ordered some macaroni in honor of my birthday. This macaroni is called (Chang Shou Me'en) long life macaroni. This was the custom. I again bowed and thanked her for her kindness and thoughtfulness. After bowing to the Young Empress and receiving in return two pairs of shoes and several embroidered neckties, I returned to my room, where I found presents from all the Court ladies.

Altogether I had a very happy birthday.

I can never forget the fifteenth day of the fifth moon as long as I live, for that was a bad day for everyone. As usual we went to Her Majesty's bedroom quite early that morning. She could not get up and complained that her back ached so much. We rubbed her back, in turns, and finally she got up, though a little late. She was not satisfied.

The Emperor came in and knelt down to wish her good morning, but she scarcely took any notice of him. I noticed that when the Emperor saw that Her Majesty was not well, he said very little to her. The eunuch who dressed her hair every morning was ill, and had ordered another one to help her. Her Majesty told us to watch him very closely to see that he did not pull her hair off. She could not bear to see even one or two hairs fall out. This eunuch was not used to trickery, for instance, in case the hair was falling off, he could not hide it like the other one did. This poor man did not know what to do with any that came out. He was frightened, and Her Majesty, seeing him through the mirror, asked him whether he had pulled her hair out. He said that he had. This made her furious, and she told him to replace it. I almost laughed, but the eunuch was very much frightened and started to cry. Her Majesty ordered him to leave the room, and said she would punish him later. We helped her to fix up her hair. I must say it was not an easy job, for she had very long hair and it was difficult to comb.

She went to the morning audience, as usual, and after that she told the head eunuch what had happened. This Li was indeed a bad and cruel man, and said: ”Why not beat him to death?” Immediately she ordered Li to take this man to his own quarters to receive punishment. Then Her Majesty said the food was bad, and ordered the cooks to be punished also. They told me that whenever Her Majesty was angry everything went wrong, so I was not surprised that so many things happened that day. Her Majesty said that we all looked too vain with our hair too low down at the back of the head. (This Manchu headdress is placed right in the center of one's head and the back part is called the swallow's tail, and must reach the bottom part of one's collar.) We had our hair done up the same way every day, and she had previously never said a word about it.

She looked at us, and said: ”Now I am going to the audience, and don't need you all here. Go back to your rooms and fix your hair all over again. If I ever see you all like that again I am going to cut your hair off.” I was never more surprised in my life when I heard her speak so sharply to us. I don't know whether I was spoken to or not, but I thought it well to be wise, and I answered I would. We were all ready to go and Her Majesty stood there watching us. When we were about five or six feet away we heard her scolding Chun Shou (the girl who was neither a Court lady nor a servant). Her Majesty said she was pretending she was all right, and Her Majesty ordered her to go also. When we were walking towards our own place, some of them laughed at Chun Shou, which made her angry. When Her Majesty was angry with anyone, she would say that we were all doing something on purpose to make her angry. I must say that everyone of us was scared, and wondered who would have dared to do that.

On the contrary, we tried our best to please her in every way.

But that day she was furious all day and I tried to stay away from her.

I noticed some of the eunuchs went to her to ask questions concerning important matters, but she would not look at them, but kept on reading her book. To tell the truth, I felt miserable that day. At the beginning I thought all the eunuchs were faithful servants, but seeing them every day, I got to know them. It did not do them any harm to be punished once in a while.

The Young Empress told me to go in and wait on Her Majesty as usual. She said that probably if I would suggest playing dice with her, she might forget her troubles. At first I did not want to go, for I was afraid that she might say something to me, but seeing that the poor Young Empress spoke to me so nicely, I told her I would try. When I entered Her Majesty's sitting room I found her reading a book. She looked at me and said: ”Come over here, I would like to tell you something. You know these people at the Palace are no good and I don't like them at all.

I don't want them to poison your ears by telling you how wicked I am.

Don't talk to them. You must not fix your hair too low down at the back of your head. I was not angry with you this morning. I know you are different. Don't let them influence you. I want you to be on my side, and do as I tell you.” Her Majesty spoke very kindly to me, and her face changed also--not at all the same face she had that morning. Of course I promised her that I would be only too happy to do all I could to please her. She spoke to me just like a good mother would speak to a dear child. I changed my opinion and thought that perhaps after all she was right, but I had often heard from the officials that one cannot be good to a eunuch, as he would do all he could to injure you without any reason whatsoever.

I noticed that day they all seemed to be more careful in doing their work. I was told that when once Her Majesty got angry, she would never finish. On the contrary, she talked to me very nicely, just as if there had been no troubles at all. She was not difficult to wait upon, only one had to watch her moods. I thought how fascinating she was, and I had already forgotten that she had been angry. She seemed to have guessed what I was thinking, and said: ”I can make people hate me worse than poison, and can also make them love me. I have that power.” I thought she was right there.

CHAPTER TWELVE--THE EMPRESS AND MRS. CONGER

ON the twenty-sixth day of the fifth moon, during the morning audience, Prince Ching told Her Majesty that Mrs. Conger, the wife of the American Minister to Peking, had asked for a private audience, and would Her Majesty please mention a day. She told him not to give any answer until the next day, just to give her time to think it over. I was sitting behind the large screen, listening, but the other Court ladies made too much noise, so Her Majesty ordered them not to say a word during audience. I was very glad myself, because I could listen to some of the interesting conversations between the Empress Dowager and her Ministers.

After the audience, Her Majesty ordered her lunch to be served on the top of the hill at Pai Yuen Dien (Spreading Cloud Pavilion). She said that she preferred to walk, so we followed her very slowly. To get to this place we had to mount two hundred and seventy-two steps, besides ten minutes' climbing over rough stones. She did not seem to mind the climbing part at all. It was the funniest thing to see two little eunuchs on either side, to support her arms, trying to keep pace with her. I noticed that she was very much preoccupied, and did not speak to any of us. When we arrived at our destination we were very tired and quite exhausted. Her Majesty, who was a good walker herself, laughed at us. She was always very much pleased when she excelled in games of skill or endurance. She said: ”You see I am old, and can walk much faster than you young people. You are all no use. What is the matter with you?” Her Majesty was very fond of receiving compliments. I had been there long enough to know and had learned to say things which would please her. She also hated anyone to pay her compliments at the wrong moment, so one had to be very careful even in paying her compliments.

This ”spreading cloud” pavilion was a beautiful Palace. It had an open s.p.a.ce in front of the building, just like one of the courtyards, with pink and white oleanders all over the place. There was a porcelain table and several porcelain stools. Her Majesty sat on her own yellow satin stool and was drinking her tea in silence. It was very windy that day, although the sky was blue with warm suns.h.i.+ne. Her Majesty sat there just for a few minutes, and then said it was too windy and went into the building. I was more than glad to go in, too, and whispered to the Young Empress that I thought the wind might blow off my headdress. The eunuchs brought the luncheon and placed everything upon the table. The Young Empress made a sign for us to follow her, which we did. When we came to the back veranda we sat down on the window seats. I will explain about these seats. All the windows were built low at the Palace, and on the veranda there was something like a bench built along the window, about a foot wide. There were no chairs to be seen excepting Her Majesty's thrones. The Young Empress asked me whether I had noticed that Her Majesty had something on her mind. I told her that perhaps she was thinking about the private audience which Prince Ching had mentioned that morning. She said that I had guessed right, and asked: ”Do you know anything about this audience? When will it take place?” I said that Her Majesty had not yet given her answer.

By this time Her Majesty had finished eating and was walking up and down the room, watching us eating. She came over to my mother and said: ”I am just wondering why Mrs. Conger asks for a private audience. Perhaps she has something to say to me. I would like to know just what it is so I can prepare an answer.” My mother said that probably Mrs. Conger had someone visiting her who wished to be presented to Her Majesty. ”No, it can't be that, because they must give the list of names of those who wish to come to the Palace. I don't mind the formal audiences, but I don't think that I should have private ones at all. I don't like to be questioned, as you all know. The foreigners are, of course, very nice and polite, according to their own way, but they cannot compare with us, so far as etiquette is concerned. I may be conservative in saying that I admire our custom and will not change it as long as I live. You see our people are taught to be polite from their earliest childhood, and just look back at the oldest teachings and compare them with the new. People seem to like the latter the best. I mean that the new idea is to be Christians, to chop up their Ancestral Tablets and burn them. I know many families here who have broken up because of the missionaries, who are always influencing the young people to believe their religion. Now I tell you why I feel uneasy about this audience is because we are too polite to refuse anyone who asks any favors in person. The foreigners don't seem to understand that. I'll tell you what I will do. Whenever they ask me anything, I'll simply tell them that I am not my own boss, but have to consult with my Ministers; that although I am the Empress Dowager of China, I must also obey the law. To tell the truth, I like Madame Uchida (wife of the j.a.panese Minister to Peking) very much. She is always very nice and doesn't ask any silly questions. Of course the j.a.panese are very much like ourselves, not at all forward. Last year, before you came to the Court, a missionary lady came with Mrs. Conger, and suggested that I should establish a school for girls at the Palace.

I did not like to offend her, and said that I would take it into consideration. Now, just imagine it for a moment. Wouldn't it be foolish to have a school at the Palace; besides, where am I going to get so many girls to study? I have enough to do as it is. I don't want all the children of the Imperial family studying at my Palace.”

Her Majesty laughed while she was telling us this, and everyone else laughed, too. She said: ”I am sure you will laugh. Mrs. Conger is a very nice lady. America is always very friendly towards China, and I appreciate their nice behavior at the Palace during the twenty-sixth year of Kw.a.n.g Hsu (1900), but I cannot say that I love the missionaries, too. Li Lien Ying told me that these missionaries here give the Chinese a certain medicine, and that after that they wish to become Christians, and then they would pretend to tell the Chinese to think it over very carefully, for they would never force anyone to believe their religion against their own will. Missionaries also take the poor Chinese children and gouge their eyes out, and use them as a kind of medicine.” I told her that that was not true; that I had met a great many missionaries, and that they were very kind-hearted and willing to do anything to help the poor Chinese. I also told her what they had done for the poor orphans--given them a home, food and clothing; that sometimes they went into the interior and found the blind children who might be useless to their parents, and when they get them they have to support them. I know several cases like that. These country people offer their deformed children to the missionaries, as they are too poor to feed and take care of them. I told her about their schools, and how they helped the poor people. Her Majesty then laughed, and said: ”Of course I believe what you say, but why don't these missionaries stay in their own country and be useful to their own people?” I thought it would be of no use for me to talk too much, but at the same time I would like her to know of the dreadful times some of the missionaries had in China. Some time ago, two of them were murdered at Wu Shuih, in June, 1892 (a little below Hankow), the church being burnt down by the mob. My father was appointed by Viceroy Chang Chih Tung to investigate the matter. After much trouble he caught three of the murderers and, according to the Chinese law, they were put to death by hanging in wooden cages, and the Government paid an indemnity to the families of the murdered missionaries. The year after, 1893, a Catholic church was burnt down at Mar Cheng, on the Yangtse, near Ichang. The mob said they saw many blind children at the church, who were made to work after having their eyes gouged out. The Prefect of Ichang Province said it was true that missionaries did get the Chinese childrens' eyes for making medicine, so my father suggested having those blind children brought into the Yamen and ask them. The Prefect was a most wicked man, and was very anti-foreign also. He gave the poor children plenty of food, and taught them to say that the missionaries did gouge their eyes out, but when they were brought in the next day they said that the missionaries treated them very kindly and gave them a nice home, good food and clothing. They said they were blind long before they became Catholics, and also said that the Prefect had taught them to say that the missionaries were cruel to them, which was not true. The blind children begged to go back to the school and said that they were very happy there.

Her Majesty said: ”That may be all right for them to help the poor and relieve their suffering. For instance, like our great Buddha Ju Lai, who fed the hungry birds with his own flesh. I would love them if they would leave my people alone. Let us believe our own religion. Do you know how the Boxer rising began? Why, the Chinese Christians were to blame. The Boxers were treated badly by them, and wanted revenge. Of course that is always the trouble with the low cla.s.s of people. They went too far, and at the same time thought to make themselves rich by setting fire to every house in Peking. It made no difference whose house. They wanted to burn so long as they could get money. These Chinese Christians are the worst people in China. They rob the poor country people of their land and property, and the missionaries, of course, always protect them, in order to get a share themselves. Whenever a Chinese Christian is taken to the Magistrate's Yamen, he is not supposed to kneel down on the ground and obey the Chinese law, as others do, and is always very rude to his own Government Officials. Then these missionaries do the best they can to protect him, whether he is wrong or not, and believe everything he says and make the magistrate set the prisoner free. Do you remember that your father established rules in the twenty-fourth year of Kw.a.n.g Hsu, how the Chinese officials should treat the Bishops whenever they had dealings with each other? I know the common cla.s.s of people become Christians--also those who are in trouble--but I don't believe that any of the high officials are Christians.” Her Majesty looked around and whispered: ”Kang Yue Wai (the reformer in 1898) tried to make the Emperor believe that religion. No one shall believe as long as I live. I must say that I admire the foreigners in some ways. For instance, their navies and armies, and engineers, but as regards civilization I should say that China is the first country by all means.

I know that many people believe that the Government had connections with the Boxers, but that is not true. As soon as we found out the trouble we issued several Edicts, and ordered the soldiers to drive them out, but they had gone too far already. I made up my mind not to go out of the Palace at all. I am an old woman, and did not care whether I died or not, but Prince Tuang and Duke Lan suggested that we should go at once.

They also suggested that we should go in disguise, which made me very angry, and I refused. After the return of the Court to Peking, I was told that many people believed that I did go in disguise, and said that I was dressed in one of my servant's clothes, and rode in a broken cart drawn by a mule, and that this old woman servant of mine was dressed as the Empress Dowager, and rode in my sedan chair. I wonder who made that story up? Of course everyone believed it, and such a story would get to the foreigners in Peking without any trouble.

”Now to come back to the question of the Boxer Rising. How badly I was treated by my own servants. No one seemed anxious to go with me, and a great many ran away before the Court had any idea of leaving the Capital at all, and those who stayed would not work, but stood around and waited to see what was going to happen. I made up my mind to ask and see how many would be willing to go, so I said to everyone: 'If you servants are willing to go with me, you can do so, and those who are not willing, can leave me.' I was very much surprised to find that there were very few standing around listening. Only seventeen eunuchs, two old women servants and one servant girl, that was Sho Chu. Those people said they would go with me, no matter what happened. I had 3,000 eunuchs, but they were nearly all gone before I had the chance of counting them. Some of the wicked ones were even rude to me, and threw my valuable vases on the stone floor, and smashed them. They knew that I could not punish them at that important moment, for we were leaving. I cried very much and prayed for our Great Ancestors' Souls to protect us. Everyone knelt with me and prayed. The Young Empress was the only one of my family who went with me. A certain relative of mine, whom I was very fond of, and gave her everything she asked, refused to go with me. I knew that the reason she would not go was because she thought the foreign soldiers would catch up the runaway Court, and kill everyone.

”After we had been gone about seven days, I sent one eunuch back, to find out who was still in Peking. She asked this eunuch whether there were any foreign soldiers chasing us, and whether I was killed. Soon after the j.a.panese soldiers took her Palace, and drove her out. She thought she was going to die anyway, and as I was not yet a.s.sa.s.sinated, she might catch up with the Court, and go with us. I could not understand how she traveled so fast. One evening we were staying at a little country house, when she came in with her husband, a nice man. She was telling me how much she had missed me, and how very anxious she had been all that time to know whether I was safe or not, and cried. I refused to listen to what she was saying and told her plainly that I did not believe a word. From that time she was finished for me. I had a very hard time, traveling in a sedan chair, from early morning, before the sun rose, until dark and in the evening had to stop at some country place. I am sure you would pity me, old as I am, that I should have had to suffer in that way.

”The Emperor went all the way in a cart, drawn by a mule, also the Empress. I went along, and was praying to our Great Ancestors for protection, but the Emperor was very quiet, and never opened his mouth.

One day something happened. It rained so much and some of the chair carriers ran away. Some of the mules died suddenly. It was very hot, and the rain was pouring down on our heads. Five small eunuchs ran away also, because we were obliged to punish them the night before on account of their bad behavior to the Magistrate, who did all he could to make me comfortable, but of course food was scarce. I heard these eunuchs quarreling with the Magistrate, who bowed to the ground, begging them to keep quiet, and promised them everything. I was of course very angry.