Part 22 (1/2)

She talked real eloquent about it, and kinder begun to shed tears. She's a capital hand to git money, she could always cry when she wanted to when she went to school, did it by holdin' her breath or sunthin'.

And when I say that I don't want it understood that I believe she did all her cryin' that way. No, I spoze she could draw on her imagination and feelin's to that extent and git 'em so rousted up that she did actually shed tears, wet tears jest like anybody, some of the time, and some she made, so I spoze.

Well, when she begun to cry I looked keen at her and sez, how much she made me think of herself when we went to school together. And she stopped sheddin' tears to once and acted more natural and went on to tell about her skeem. She said female vice wuz stalkin' round fearful, fallen wimmen appeared on the streets with shockin' frequency, sunthin' must be done for these lost souls or their blood would be on our dress skirts.

She told me how much she'd gin to this object and how much ministers had gin and how they wuz all goin' to preach sermons about these poor lost wimmen and try to wake the public up to the fact of the enormity of their sins and the burnin' need of such an inst.i.tution.

She talked powerful about it, and I sez: ”Jane Olive, I've gin a good deal of thought to this subject, and I think this house of yourn is a good idee, but to my mind it don't cover the hull ground. Now I will give five dollars for the Home for Fallen Wimmen and the other five for the Home for Fallen Men.”

Sez she, and she screamed the words right out: ”There hain't any such inst.i.tution in the hull city!”

”Why, there must be!” sez I. ”It hain't reasonable that there shouldn't be. Why, if a man and a woman go along over a bridge together, and both fall through, and are maimed and broke to pieces, they are carried to a male and female hospital to be mended up. Or if they fall through a sidewalk or anywhere else they have to both be doctored up and have the same splints on and rubbed with the same anarky, etc.”

”That's very different,” sez Jane Olive.

”Why different?” sez I. ”If they both fall morally their morals ort to be mended up agin both on 'em. The woman ort to be carried to the Home for Fallen Wimmen, the Home for Magdalenes, and the men to the Home for Fallen Men, the Home for Mikels.”

”There hain't no such place!” sez Jane Olive agin decidedly.

Sez I, ”Did you ever inquire?”

”No,” sez she, ”I wouldn't make a fool of myself by inquirin' for such a thing as that, Home for Mikels! I don't know what you mean by that anyway.”

”Why,” sez I, ”fallen men angels. You know Mikel wuz a angel once and he fell.”

”Well, there is no such place,” sez she, tossin' her head a little.

”Well,” sez I, ”you ort to know, you're from the city and I hain't; but I know that if there hain't such a place it's a wicked thing. Just look at them poor fallen men that are walkin' the streets night after night, poor creeters goin' right down to ruin and n.o.body trying to lead 'em up agin to the way of safety and virtue-poor fallen, ruined men! I feel to pity 'em.”

Sez Jane Olive, ”Oh, shaw! they don't feel ruined, they're all right, I'll resk them.”

”How do you know how they feel? Take a tender hearted, innocent man, that some bad, designin' woman has led astray, led him on till she has betrayed and ruined him, and he feels that the screen door of society is shet aginst him--”

”Oh, shaw!” sez Jane Olive agin. ”The door of society hain't shet aginst the man, it never is.”

”Then,” sez I, ”there is sunthin' wrong with the door and it ort to be tended to.”

Sez she, ”Things are winked at in a bad man that hain't in a bad woman.”

”Not by me,” sez I firmly. ”The man won't git a wink out of me more or less than I would give to the woman.”

”It don't hurt a man,” sez Jane Olive. ”And,” sez she, ”no self respectin' man goes to any place that hain't licensed and respectable.”

”If such houses are respectable,” sez I, ”and the law makes 'em so, why hain't the wimmen called so that keep 'em? Why hain't the wimmen looked up to that work there?”

Sez Jane Olive, ”You don't talk no good sense at all.”

Sez I, ”Jane Olive, I am spozin'. Mark you well, I don't say they are respectable; I say they are the depths of infamy. But I am talkin' from the standpoint of legislators and highest officials, and if they call 'em respectable, and throw the mantilly of law and order over 'em it is only justice to let the mantilly spread out, so it will cover the males and females too. Agin I quote the words of the poet to you, 'what is sa.s.s for the goose ort to be sa.s.s for the gander.'”

Says she, ”Such things are looked on so different in a man, they can hold their heads up jest as high as they did before.”