Part 11 (1/2)

I told him how it wuz and he sez, ”I'll bet I can find him for you; I remember his talkin' last night about a certain place.”

[Ill.u.s.tration]

Sez I in tearful axents, ”Oh, do! do try, and ease the heart of a distracted companion.”

But when he mentioned the place he thought he wuz I repelled the insinuation with scorn. It wuz one of the most hilarious and vain places of revelry at the Fair, where there wuz lots of bally girls and etcetery, and I sez:

”No, indeed! He may have gone into some meetin' house and wandered up into the steeple onbeknown to him, or some educational exhibit, or Bible rooms, but never, never in that place.”

But yieldin' to his arguments I consented to go with him sayin' we would stay at the door while he reconoitered. But jest as we got to the door who should we see comin' out radiant and smilin' but Josiah Allen and Uncle Sime Bentley.

Billy sez, ”What did I tell you?”

I couldn't frame a reply, I had no frame that fitted the remark, but as Billy disappeared to once it didn't matter. When Josiah ketched my eye and the look it wore, the blush of shame mantiled his cheek-or wuz it remorse?-I couldn't tell, they look some alike.

And he sez, ”We went in, Samantha, to look for a missin' man, and my corn ached like furiation jest as we wuz pa.s.sin' the door, and I couldn't seem to walk another step, and it looked some like rain and I knew you wouldn't want me to spile my new coat--”

And Uncle Sime chimed in, ”We wuz took faint both on us jest as we got to the door and had to set down, and I mistrusted I should find cousin Zekiel there,” and then happenin' to remember, both at the same time, they begun to say how they went for the good of the meetin' house.

Sez I in frigid axents, ”Say no more!” And I turned onto my heel and walked coldly away.

But Blandina whispered to me, ”Oh, be merciful, Aunt Samantha, men have such powerful intellects, that Shows that would almost ruin a woman, don't affect them hardly any. Speak tenderly to him,” sez she, ”and I myself will gently accost Mr. Bentley.”

So she stepped back to his side and Josiah advanced and walked by me still pourin' out excuses. Why he gin enough reasons to excuse a regiment let alone one small deacon.

But Blandina seemed to lose her efforts, for Uncle Sime talked real grouty to her, he has never had a idee of marryin' anybody since his wife died and he mistrusts wimmen are runnin' after him. You know male widowers do git that idee into their heads, them that are as humbly as Time in the Primer, and a onmarried woman can't ask 'em about the weather, or sheep, or anything but what they mistrust some hidden warmth, and pride themselves on how attractive they be. It's a sight.

As nigh as I could find out the minute Josiah Allen left me he took the railway and hurried to the wicked place where he and Uncle Sime wuz to meet, expectin' to git back in ample time to meet us. But they wuz so took up with the show they dallied, and so retribution and a indignant pardner overtook 'em. Well, we took the Intremoral railway and went back to finish Agricultural Hall, for that bein' writ on my pad I wanted to complete it so fur as we could, of course it would took months to do justice to it.

We got there in a few minutes, and Josiah, as might be expected, wanted to see the food exhibits, so we went where there wuz all kinds of food made of vegetable products, all kind of grain, flour mills where you could see wheat go in one end and bread come out the other, bakeries, kitchens, tea and coffee pavilions and every sort of animal food products, milk and cream in every form, fresh and preserved cheese and b.u.t.ter dairies, all sorts of dairy tools, churns, separators, cheese presses and vats, everything connected with makin' b.u.t.ter and cheese, transporting and distributing. Starch factories, broom factories, market gardening in all branches.

Gra.s.ses, all sorts of fodder for cattle, raised in every country of the world, and the best methods of raising. Everything relating to poultry, artificial hatching and raising. Every kind of crop raised in every country of the world and the best methods of raising and handling them. As in cotton, you can see it from the tiny seed clear to the cotton mill, so in corn, you see everything that is manufactured from it and how it is done-meal, breakfast foods, starch, bread, pastry, baking powders, yeast, from a kernel of corn up to mills and manufactories. And so it wuz in everything raised in our own country and all over the world.

And there wuz a display of insects, bees and everything relating to honey and wax. Silk worms and their work and products, cochineal and all kinds of useful insects and their work, and hurtful insects and methods of destroying them, and so on and so on and so on. I couldn't tell all I see if I should try a week, and what we see wuzn't a drop to a fountain. The immense buildin' is divided off into streets and blocks jest like a city, and you might roam through them streets a month and find sunthin' new and interestin' every day and hour.

Well, from there we went to Horticultural Hall, or we had started for there when Josiah made a observation about the size of a potato he had seen in Agricultural Hall, that I had to in the cause of Truth and Duty object to, the size he mentioned was a twelve-quart pail, and I said:

”Josiah, take off a few quarts from that pail. For the good of your soul take off two quarts anyway.”

”Not a quart!” sez he, ”nor a spunful.”

Well, we had words about it, Blandina as usual siding with her uncle, and it ended with their goin' back with a string, which Josiah produced from his pocket to measure it, I offering to stay by a certain statute till they got back. And as I stood there lookin' at the stiddy pa.s.sin' crowd and philosophizin' on it as my nater is, I wuz accosted by a strange lookin' man, as I took it to be (I say It for reasons named hereafter).

”Josiah Allen's wife, I am happy to meet you; I knew you at once though it is so long since we met.” In the meantime it had gripped holt of my hand with fervor.

I drawed back and sez, ”Sir!” (I thought it favored that gender most) ”Sir, I think you are mistook.”

”Oh, no, you are Josiah Allen's wife; I am Dr. Mary Walker.”

”Oh!” sez I in a relieved axent, as I returned the warm grasp of her hand, ”I am glad to meet you, Mary.”