Part 19 (2/2)
”No, I imagine she's not. She's incredible, the bravest woman I've ever met. But she and I both know this is a temporary deal.”
”Temporary, huh? I thought the same thing while Kathy and I were fooling around. Thought I could end it whenever I pleased. Don't tell me you're as dumb as I was?”
”It's not dumb knowing it'd never work between us. She wants to remain here, hidden away with her family; I want to travel the world and doc.u.ment it. Incompatible wants.”
”What you want and what you need are often not the same.”
”Thank you for your wisdom, Yoda.”
Todd shrugged good-naturedly. ”You're welcome, young Jedi. I get it, you know. It's scary when a woman gets her hooks into your heart. Makes your brain start telling you all sorts of stupid s.h.i.+t, like run when you should stay.”
”Whoa-there are no hooks in my heart or anywhere else.”
Todd coughed, the cough sounding like a sarcastic, ”Yeah, right.”
Nate staggered to his feet. ”I've only got another two and a half weeks-three, tops- before I'm outta here.”
”Because all this”-Todd flung a wetsuit-covered arm out toward the sea-”and the potential of a life with an amazing woman and a kid who thinks you're one step above Superman, can't compete with b.u.mming around the world with your camera?”
”It's what guys like me do.”
But Nate couldn't draw his gaze from the waves rolling onto the beach and the ache in his gut at the idea of driving away from Lauren and Drew for the last time.
Todd stood and picked up his board. Shot Nate a look of resignation. ”You keep telling yourself that, boss. Maybe you'll end up believing it.”
Chapter 9.
”Popcorn?” Nate leaned back into the couch, propping his bare feet on the coffee table.
”Check.” Drew hugged the ma.s.sive bowl and wriggled closer to him.
”Pajamas?”
Drew jerked a thumb at his Superman pajama-covered chest. ”Check.”
”Superman movie marathon no girls allowed?”
”Check, check, check!” Drew grinned and shoved a hand into the b.u.t.tery popcorn.
Nate hit the play b.u.t.ton on the remote and glanced at the clock. Six thirty. Lauren would've been on her way back with Kathy from the baby shower, except Kathy's sister had gone into labor after the excitement of twenty women bearing gifts and squealing, ”That's so adorable.” Well, according to Lauren's report on the phone an hour ago.
Which left him babysitting a lot longer than he'd antic.i.p.ated. Not that it was a problem. Drew was a good kid-a great kid-and the fact Lauren had asked him instead of her brother to sit with Drew created a warm, fuzzy feeling in his chest.
”Let's do this thing,” he said as the opening credits rolled onto the screen. ”And go easy on the popcorn.”
Drew rested his head on Nate's arm and looked up with a smile that transformed the warm fuzzy into a scalding-hot flood.
Indigestion. Nate s.n.a.t.c.hed up a handful of popcorn and turned back to the screen. Indigestion from the nachos Lauren had left the two of them for an early dinner.
He couldn't have this kid, he couldn't have this cozy life. And he couldn't be the husband-slash-dad who left his family alone for months at a time, or the husband-slash-dad who dragged them with him, either.
Men like him and Steve? The family thing didn't work for them-not without leaving a trail of broken hearts behind. No way would he do that to this little boy who'd already been through so much.
”How about some juice to wash down the popcorn?” Nate asked a few minutes into the movie.
Drew's head on Nate's arm weighed more than an anchor, dragging his thoughts down into murky waters.
”Okay.” Drew never took his eyes off Clark Kent's bespectacled face.
Nate eased away and got up to pour the drinks. When he returned, he sat on the opposite end of the couch and piled up cus.h.i.+ons between them. ”You can lie down if you get tired.”
One and a half movies later, Drew was out for the count. Nate scooped the sleeping child up and carried him upstairs, ignoring Drew's sleepy snuggling and murmured protests as Nate lowered the boy into his bed.
Tip-toeing out of Drew's room, Nate sighed and headed back to the couch. Time for a well-earned brew while he waited for Lauren to get home. He stretched out with his beer and the remote.
Babysitting, he thought after he'd emptied the bottle. Like a boss.
Shrill screams scoured down the stairs and ripped Nate out of a light doze. Rolling into a dead run before his brain had a chance to catch up, he tore back upstairs. The moment he flung open Drew's door, he started cursing himself. Stupid, thoughtless dolt-he'd forgotten to switch on the boy's nightlight.
”Hey, hey, it's okay. I'm here.” He fumbled for the bedside lamp.
Warm light exploded into the room, and for a second, his pounding heart stuttered at the sight of Drew's empty bed. Then he spotted the little boy, curled into a huddle in the corner of the bed between the wall and footboard, wild-eyed and shaking.
Nate's fists tightened, his lungs struggling to get enough air with the stony weight pressed on them. Lucky for Jonathan Knight's mortality that two oceans separated them.
He flicked on the nightlight switch and sat on the edge of Drew's bed. ”I'm sorry. I forgot to put on your nightlight.”
”Where's Mummy?” Drew's lower lip trembled. ”I want Mummy.”
”She's not back yet. She's with your Aunty Mel who's having a baby.” Nate raked a hand through his hair.
Baby-sitting boss? Hah. He had no clue what to do if Drew worked himself up into a frenzy because his mother wasn't home.
”Come and lie down again. You'll get cold.”
”I had a bad dream about Daddy.” Drew didn't budge, just turned those huge, dark eyes up to his. ”He hurt Mummy.”
”Your daddy won't hurt her again-or you,” Nate said firmly. ”Come on, now. I'll stay with you until you fall asleep.”
Drew crawled up the bed and lay down, squis.h.i.+ng his body against the wall and patting the mattress in front of him. ”You have to lie down too, like Mummy does.”
Nate hesitated, took one look at the kid's face and sighed, folding himself into the confines of the single bed. ”If I break the bed, your mum'll never let me hear the end of it.”
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