Part 13 (1/2)
That earned her a crooked smile. ”Right. Having a photojournalist move next door-one who plans to bring the hounds of h.e.l.l right to your doorstep-I understand why you didn't tell me about your past. I understand, but it still p.i.s.ses me off because I wonder if you were ever going to tell me.”
She leaned back into the seat and ma.s.saged her temple. ”I didn't trust you, at first...and then it was too late to say, 'Hey, you know that skinny blonde model that disappeared? That was me.' I didn't know you then like I know you now. I didn't know at the beginning you were one of the good guys.”
He snorted dismissively, but the tense line of his broad shoulders relaxed a little. Part of her wanted to lean across and cover his hand, to draw his tense fingers off the steering wheel and twine them with hers.
Instead, she tucked her fists between her knees and continued. ”I've kept a low profile for his sake. I don't want Drew growing up with the stigma of having other people know that Alexandra and Jonathan Knight are his mother and father. Together, we sucked at parenting. Drew's much better off with plain Lauren Taylor as his mum.”
”This low profile means isolating yourself from everyone other than your family, doesn't it?”
”My family knows the real me.”
”I'd like to think I know the real you, at least some of the real you.” He peeled a hand from the steering wheel and draped it over the backrest of her chair. He lightly stroked her shoulder. ”I don't give a d.a.m.n about who you used to be.”
A s.h.i.+ver trembled through her at his touch. ”Well.” She sucked in a deep breath. ”Most people wouldn't get past the ex-model, ex-celebrity factor.”
”I did-took all of two minutes. Alexandra Knight doesn't exist anymore; you do. I bet if you'd give people a chance the novelty that you used to wear fancy clothes for snooty New York designers would wear off just as quickly.”
”You're a pain in the b.u.t.t, you know that?”
”Why? Because I tell the truth without sugar-coating it?”
”No, because you're too d.a.m.n attractive, too d.a.m.n intuitive and too d.a.m.n complicating.”
”You think I'm attractive.” His s.e.xy grin stretched across his face as he tugged on a lock of her hair.
She pulled back, trying to look indignant, rather than like a woman who badly wanted to press herself against his hand like a dog searching for affection. ”In a scruffy sort of way-don't go getting a big head.”
”And how am I complicating?”
”By just being you-and for making me break my rule of not getting involved with anyone.”
”Ah. So we are involved, then?” He twisted in his seat, giving her an inscrutable look.
Why the heck had she admitted that? Had anything really changed? His words rang in her head. I don't know how to do the family thing and I've no desire to learn.
”We're something, I guess. I'm not sure what.”
”Me either.” Nate sighed and started the car. ”But while we think on it, how about we eat our lunch at the beach?”
”I'd like that.”
”On the condition you lose the ugly hat. It's ruining my appet.i.te.”
”Fine.” She tossed the hat into the back seat.
The return trip was a lot quieter than the ride to town. They did talk about the weather, because every other topic seemed loaded with landmines.
”The water looks tempting,” she said as they approached a side road leading down to Bounty Bay's beach, one of the only beaches in the area where vehicles were permitted to drive on the hard-packed sand. They drove off the concrete ramp, the Range Rover wallowing briefly as the tires left the solid surface.
The tide was out, and in the distance, kids rode boogie-boards in the gentle surf. Many vehicles were parked on the wide expanse of sand between the dunes and the water, and people sprawled on towels while teenagers idly tossed rugby b.a.l.l.s to and fro.
”We could drive a bit farther around the coast. Get away from the holiday crowds.”
He shrugged and joined the line of vehicles at the foot of a scrubby hill, headed toward the rocky reef ledge exposed by the low tide. The Range Rover b.u.mped and jolted across the low rocks that made up the drivable ledge. They stopped and waited for a pickup loaded with surfboards and wetsuit-clad teenagers to edge past.
”Those girls at the restaurant today...” She hesitated, unwilling to stir things up again, but trying to understand. ”They recognized you, too-you know it'll be all over the social networking sites by this evening. Don't you mind?”
”I won't live my life in hiding.”
The words p.r.i.c.kled like an accusation, and she tucked herself deeper into the sun-warmed leather seat.
”I've done nothing I'm ashamed of,” he added.
He felt no remorse for brawling with Savannah Payne's husband? No shame at fooling around with another man's wife? No-she didn't believe that. There must be some other explanation. Now would be the time to ask, if she could garner the courage to pry. But the words jammed her throat shut. Even the persistent jab of curiosity couldn't blot out the knowledge that questioning his relations.h.i.+p with the actress would mean admitting the significance of her interest. That over the last couple of weeks she'd developed an invested interest in him.
”The next bay has a nice swimming beach and some rock pools.”
Nate grunted noncommittally, and they rounded another cl.u.s.ter of rocks, the scrubby hill changing into a steep mountain of golden sand dunes stretching to the sky. The contrast and beauty of this area still managed to send a visceral thrill of pleasure through her.
He brought the car to a slow stop and parked. ”Will this do?”
”Yes. This is great.” She slipped off her sandals and stepped out, relis.h.i.+ng the gritty sand beneath her toes.
Nate found an old blanket in the back and spread it a short distance from the car. They sat and ate, throwing the odd piece of bread to a small group of jostling gulls.
Once the last of their lunch had been dispersed to the greedy birds, Nate stood and collected their empty paper bags. ”Think I'll go for a swim.”
He opened the Range Rover's back door and offered her a towel. ”You coming?”
She waved it away. ”Oh, no. I won't swim. I'll just paddle my feet to cool down.”
He raised an eyebrow, but didn't comment. After hauling off his s.h.i.+rt, he tossed it into the car and then draped the towel she'd rejected around his neck. The shorts clung low on his hips, the towel highlighting more of his toned flesh than it covered.
Always aware of his masculinity on some level, she could usually keep the just-friends illusion around Todd and Kathy while Nate remained fully clothed. Now, her unwilling gaze was drawn to the breadth of his shoulders and the smooth ripple of muscle bracing his torso as he toed off his sandshoes.
Lauren walked to the water's edge, her mouth papery and pulse skittering in erratic leaps. The height of a cl.u.s.ter of rock pools near the sh.o.r.eline concealed her from the traffic farther along the beach. Perfect if she'd been alone, but with Nate close behind her, privacy wasn't the safest option. She inhaled great gulps of salty air, trying to wrangle her heartbeat under control. She needed to stop this silly infatuation, these school-girlish blushes every time he got within touching distance.
Nate arrived beside her, hands on hips, his brow furrowed. ”Are you still worried about those girls? Or maybe that I'm going to start calling you s.e.xy Lexy?”
She shook her head, gazing at the small waves encircling her feet.
”Why is it whenever we're alone, you rarely smile?”
Lauren dragged her gaze up to meet his. No hostility glittered there, just a flicker of bewildered hurt.
Because I'm scared. She kept her lips st.i.tched shut. I'm scared that if I let you in, if I trust you with the real me it won't be enough-that I won't be enough, and you'll try to change me like he did.
And G.o.d help her, she didn't want to make the same mistake twice.