Part 10 (2/2)
”Start at the beginning.”
”Right.”
Where did her story begin? Where were the safe spots she could stand on like stepping stones in a turbulent river? What parts of her truth did she dare expose?
She sucked in a deep breath. ”I got married at twenty-too young, I know.” She cut him a sharp glance, but his impa.s.sive face showed no tell-tale sign of impending judgment. ”I met John at a bar while I was with a bunch of friends.”
Technically, it was a charity gala, and her agent insisted she and four other models in the agency attend. Jonathan Knight had swooped in on her like a bird of prey spotting a field mouse. At nineteen, and having her first taste of freedom since her mother had left her in New York, Lauren believed she could handle a man like Jonathan.
”To a naive girl from small town New Zealand, he appeared very sophisticated and worldly. Not to mention he was the cliched tall, dark and handsome.”
”He had dark hair and was tall?”
”Yes.”
”Is that why you reacted so dramatically when I found you on the road?”
Her fingers looped around her knees and squeezed. ”You're a similar build, have similar colored hair and similar sized...hands.”
”Well, h.e.l.l.”
”But you have different eyes. John's were hard and nearly black. I could never read his mood.”
A fine network of lines radiated from the corner of Nate's eyes, the spark of wry humor lighting the clear green depths.
”Yours are like the sea, deep enough to drown in. They're kind eyes.” A flood of heat crept over her skin and she averted her gaze.
”I got swept away in the romance of it all. The extravagant gestures, the finest restaurants, his attention focused solely on me. I believed he loved me.” She choked out a bitter laugh. ”But his love was conditional and based on owners.h.i.+p.”
She paused, remembering the little signs she'd overlooked. His frown if he arrived for a date and she'd dressed in an outfit he didn't like. How designer-stamped bags would arrive the next day, loaded with garments he'd selected. Garments he deemed suitable. The first flex of control over her life, something she'd missed at the time.
”We got married a few days after my twentieth birthday. He paid for Mum, Todd, Kathy and even Sophie to fly to New York for the wedding.
”What did they think of him?”
”Mum deemed him the catch of a lifetime. Todd didn't take to him, but he kept his mouth shut as he figured his own bias was at play. Kathy liked him well enough until he threw a mini fit about Sophie spilling her orange juice on his apartment's white carpet. He apologized profusely and even bought Sophie a huge stuffed animal from FAO Schwarz.” She shook her head. ”Kathy never said anything until years later.”
”He charmed your whole family?”
”Oh, he charmed everyone around him.” She shook her head ruefully. ”I was so blinded, I refused to listen to what my gut told me-that although my mother adored him, my dad”-Lauren swallowed with a throat as coa.r.s.e as sandpaper- ”my dad would've cut off his own arm before letting me marry him.”
”The rose-colored gla.s.ses started to peel away pretty quickly, I'm guessing.”
”It was less than a year, and things changed. He started criticizing and degrading me in small, subtle ways-demanding to know my every move, insinuating I was unfaithful if he caught another man looking in my direction.” She twisted and untwisted the same strand of her hair. ”Married John was nothing like boyfriend or fiance John. A completely different person compared to the man I'd fallen for.”
Nate took another sip from his mug. ”What did you do?”
”I didn't do anything. I loved him-or thought I did. I kept telling myself it'd be okay. When I found out I was pregnant, it all changed again.”
”Did he want the baby?”
Lauren shut her eyes. Travelled back to that afternoon as she'd met Jonathan at the door, the little plastic strip with its exciting news clutched in her hand.
”Darling, we're going to have a baby!”
He peeled her arms from around his shoulders, his thumbs digging into her biceps hard enough to leave bruises. ”You're a model, not a breeding heifer.”
The tester fell from her numb fingers.
Jonathan pulled out his cellphone, delivering her a look of pure frost. ”I know a doctor who can deal with this quickly and privately.”
”No!” She'd never defied him before. ”I'll walk out this door right now. I'm keeping this baby.”
They stared at each other a moment longer before Jonathan said, ”I apologize, Alexandra. I didn't realize you felt so strongly. I was only thinking of your career.”
He wasn't sorry. Pain squeezed her reply into a choked whisper. ”This baby means more to me than my career.” And it should mean more to you.
No. Drew's father hadn't wanted him.
Lauren opened her eyes and shook her head. ”Once he found out about my pregnancy, it went downhill. He stopped asking where I was and started to work longer hours. After Drew was born, John had little to do with him, and Drew soon learned not to bother his father.”
”Was he afraid of him?”
Lauren sighed. ”Not at first. John didn't physically discipline him, but he didn't touch him with affection, either. To Drew, his father was just a person who occasionally entered his little world. A man who treated him much the way a bachelor uncle will absently pat the head of his nephew once a year at a Christmas get-together.”
Nate s.h.i.+fted on the couch, and running a hand through his hair, he leaned forward. ”Something happened to change that, didn't it?”
She pressed her lips together. ”Yes. But I don't want to talk about it now. Let's just say one day I woke up and realized I'd made a terrible decision that would cost me everything if I didn't make a better one. So I made a better decision. I left with Drew, came home and divorced my husband.”
”Not before he hurt you.”
”No. I left a little too late.”
Nate rose and sat beside her. The intensity of his gaze caused her fingers to bunch into fists on her knees.
He picked up her hand and brushed a kiss across her knuckles. ”Thank you for telling me.”
Her blood buzzed from his nearness and the touch of his lips on her skin. He continued to hold her hand until her fingers uncurled. Silence between them transformed from awkward to electric, like the static that crackles in the atmosphere just before lightning strikes.
”I should never have kissed you,” she blurted. ”I should've walked away.”
Nate's eyebrow twitched up, but he didn't speak.
”And it's not because I don't find you attractive; I do-”
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