Part 29 (1/2)
Merrick opened the door after studying the street and walked them into the lobby. As they rode up in the elevator, Emma made eye contact with the top Casey guard. Understanding, Merrick escorted the children to the waiting room so Emma could go in alone. The fact that neither of them had called to relay the news would not be lost on Cain.
She was sleeping when Emma entered, providing the perfect opportunity for her to study the face and body she missed so much. Growing up on a farm with no siblings hadn't prepared her for sharing s.p.a.ce with another person, especially in her bed. But with Cain she had never had any awkwardness or adjustments. She had moved in shortly after they had consummated their relations.h.i.+p, walking on what felt like thin ice, trying to do nothing that would make Cain regret her decision to invite her.
Twelve Years Before in the Casey Home The last of the moving men tipped his hat in her direction and started toward the front door of Emma's new residence. She didn't have much furniture or many knickknacks, considering the frugal way she had existed in school, but Cain had hired a crew anyway, not wanting her to have to worry about anything.
Emma walked around the master suite studying the various pictures, smiling when she found more than one of the two of them. In the closet she ran her hand along the row of suits and s.h.i.+rts that hung neatly alongside her own things and wondered if she and Cain would have a long adjustment period.
Cain loved hershe was sure of it and had never doubted from the first time Cain had said itbut no woman had shared Cain's life this way either. When she stepped out of the closet, the object of her thoughts was sitting on the bed smiling at her. Across Cain's lap lay a bouquet of sunflowers, which seemed almost as out of place in the s.p.a.ce as Emma felt.
”I remember you telling me when you lived with your folks you grew these outside your bedroom window so you could enjoy them in the summer. I also remember how happy you looked when you told me that story.” Cain stood up and moved slowly to where Emma was standing. ”These are for you, love.” She handed the flowers over. ”I didn't grow them, I'll admit, but I hope they make you just as happy.”
”You make me happy,” she said.
”I can only hope that's true too, because I don't ever want you to leave here, and I want you to feel like this is your home. If you don't, we'll look for another one.”
Emma put her flowers down and moved into Cain's arms. ”I don't ever want to leave, and I think the house is as perfect as you are. There's only one way to be sure, though.”
”More flowers?” asked Cain teasingly.
Emma shook her head and looked up into the twinkling blue eyes. ”More of you.”
From that day on, a crystal vase full of sunflowers stood on the nightstand on her side of the bed. They always made Emma feel special because, unlike most of the things in Cain's life that she delegated to others, she always chose and bought the sunflowers herself. Over the years she became a fixture at least twice a week in the flower section at the French market.
”You look like you're carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, sweetling.”
The raspy voice made Emma realize that during her musings she had taken a seat on the bed to be close to Cain. ”Sorry,” she said as she started to move away.
”Don't go. I want to tell you something.” Cain's movements were still a bit uncoordinated, but she managed to wrap her hand around Emma's wrist.
”I know I'm not your favorite person, but there's also a limit to how much I can take in a day, and it's been a h.e.l.l of a day already.” Emma was intent on getting up, sure that in Cain's weakened condition she could break the hold easily.
”Please stay. I don't want to pile it on, Emma. I want to apologize for my earlier outburst. Hayden's responsible for his actions, no matter what you told him. I shouldn't have jumped all over you like I did.”
”Cain, I understand you were upset. You don't have to apologize.” Emma relaxed and smiled because Cain hadn't moved her hand even though it was apparent that she wasn't going to get off the bed. ”I should've waited until you were awake before I told Hayden about Hannah. It really isn't my intention to replace you or diminish your place in his life.”
”Come on, Emma. You've got me on my back and apologizing to you. I say you should go with it and enjoy.” Cain squeezed the delicate wrist under her fingers. ”Now tell me what's got you looking even more depressed than when you left.”
”Actually, I have good news for you.”
”Tell me what's bothering you?”
”Why would you care?” The question wasn't sarcastic, and Emma didn't mean it to be.
”Does the why matter? Shouldn't the fact that I care enough to ask mean something?”
Emma dipped her head a little as if she expected a physical blow instead of an answer to her question. ”I really don't want to play twenty questions with you, so could you just answer me?”
”I care because of who you are and what you mean to my life, Emma. I care because, despite our past and our future, you're the mother of my children. And because you are, I care about your happiness.”
Gla.s.sy green eyes from unshed tears peeked at Cain from behind a veil of pale blond hair. ”Thank you. I'm sure admitting that was harder than taking a bullet for me.”
Cain laughed, thinking Emma still knew her well. ”So reward me for my show of compa.s.sion.”
”I was thinking of sunflowers and better times. Silly, I know, but I was watching you sleep and it reminded me of those flowers. I grew them again when I left, well, for the first summer anyway. They made me cry so d.a.m.n much I asked my father to rip them out.” The tears she had tried to fight rolled down her cheeks. Emma had grown accustomed to them, but they did something to Cain.
”History can be a wicked mistress, can't she, la.s.s?” Cain patted the hand lying on the bed and relaxed her face into a smile. ”She can twist our most precious memories into our worst sources of pain.”
”I gave up so much, and I won't ever get it back, will I?”
”You've gotten a little of Hayden back, haven't you?” Cain laughed at Emma's shocked expression. ”Come now, sweetling. You and Merrick might've gotten caught up in the excitement, but someone in the house was bound to call me. How's he look?”
”Like you in all the pictures I've seen when you were his age. He was scared, but I think fear of facing you won out over anything Bracato could've done to him. Do you think just this once you could go easy on him?”
”Did he ask you to ask me that?”
Emma quickly covered Cain's hand with hers. ”No, you know better. He would take a beating before he begged for leniency.”
”Go get him, and don't worry about a beating. Even if I felt up to it, that's not my style.”
The tease made Emma laugh, and the hand still under hers gave her a glimmer of hope for the future. ”I'll go get him.”
The guards around the waiting room were trying their best to keep their eyes on the hall and not on the little girl sitting on Hayden's lap giggling at the story he was telling her. Hannah had taken to her big brother in a way that surprised even the hardest of Cain's men. It was the first time Emma had seen their teeth, their smiles were so big.
”Hayden,” Emma interrupted him.
”She's awake?”
Emma nodded. ”It's all right. I talked to her, and I think she's too tired to be too mad.”
”I wouldn't lay even money on that.” Hayden left before his mother could complain about how a child his age shouldn't know about gambling and odds. The walk down the short hallway seemed like an eternity to him. He knew in his heart Cain wouldn't be mad. He didn't need confirmation from Emma about that. No, the woman lying in intensive care wouldn't be mad; she'd be disappointed, and to him that was worse. Anger would almost be easier to deal with.
They stared at each other in silence when Hayden reached the doorway of Cain's room. Cain visually scoured his body, making sure he was as fine as Mook had told her. ”Come in and close the door.” Her voice was rough from emotion.
”I'm sorry.” Hayden stared at the now-closed door, his back to her.
”What are you sorry for?”
”For disappointing you.”
”Hayden, come here, please.” She held her hand up as high as she could manage, mentally cursing how weak she felt. ”I'm not disappointed in you, son. Maybe I should be, but I'm so glad you're all right and whole that I don't care about the rest.”
”But you wouldn't have made the same mistake.”
”I'm not perfect, my boy, no matter what my mother thought.”
The joke got him to sit on the bed.
”You made a mistake out of anger, which means you're a lot like me. You're still young, but with a few years under your belt you'll come to realize anger and love are the two strongest emotions, and they'll make you do strange things.”
”I just got mad you didn't tell me about Hannah.”