Part 7 (1/2)
”I just need a minute.” Slowly Cain shoved her emotions back into the recesses of her heart and took a deep breath. ”Too much exercise for one day.” With that short explanation, she smiled at Hayden, then left to clean up.
”Are you sure I can't do something for you?” repeated Emma. ”Something I can get you?”
The questions and the concern in Emma's voice stopped Cain at the corner of the barn, where she leaned against it again as if she were exhausted. ”I think there's nothing you can do now, Emma. Nothing at all.”
Not understanding what was going on, Hayden turned his fury on his birth mother. Cain had been fine when he had last seen her. ”What did you do to her?” Hayden looked at Emma and frowned. No one had ever made Cain look that defeated, and the fact that she never moved away from Emma's touch meant whatever was wrong was serious.
Hayden had been only seven when Emma left, but he was old enough to see how her absence had affected Cain. He spent a lot of time with her and knew how important he was to her, but it wasn't enough. Something had changed in her when Emma walked out, and it took Hayden time to realize that she was obviously lonely, and that he could do nothing to fill the gap his mother had left.
”Hayden, I was with you all afternoon. I'm sure Cain will be fine once she showers and lies down for a little while.” Emma just stood there when Hayden left her to follow Cain, glancing back at her with suspicion.
She turned to Merrick and knew the woman wouldn't give her any information, but thought she'd take the chance and ask anyway. ”What happened?” Emma had to admit Merrick seemed as confused as she did.
”She just overdid it. Nothing to worry about.”
Emma fought a feeling of sheer panic that insisted something was terribly wrong. She knew the mobster would've rather been shot than show that kind of vulnerability in public. ”I'll give her and Hayden a few minutes. Then I'll come over and help you with dinner.”
”Look, Emma, how about you just skip tonight.” Merrick saw the protest forming on Emma's lips, so she overstepped her position and tried to defuse it. ”How about I try and talk Hayden into going up to the house to join you and your parents for dinner? That way I can take care of Cain.” Merrick looked at the woman and tried one more thing to get her to agree. ”If she's sick we'll have to leave early, and I know you don't want that to happen. I'm sure things will be better in the morning. Just let me take care of her.”
I'm sure you'll take every opportunity to take care of Cain. The thought made a flash of jealous anger bolt through Emma's heart, but it quickly died away when her head reminded her that she had left, not the other way around. No, Cain had given her every chance to change her mind, only turning away when Emma refused to believe her and insisted on leaving. Whomever Cain chose to spend her time with, in or out of bed, wasn't Emma's concern anymore.
Four Years Earlier in the Casey Home, New Orleans Cain dismissed the guards outside the door, wanting to spend a quiet afternoon with Emma. The memory of what Danny Baxter had tried to do to Emma had kept them up for a good portion of the previous nights. Cain was exhausted from holding her while she tried to comfort and soothe her, and Emma was worn out from bouts of crying.
Something had changed that morning, though, when Emma sent Cain off to work with a promise she would call if she needed anything. She had said that she was trying to put Danny out of her mind.
Danny was Cain's cousin from the Baxter side of family, who had talked her father into a job a year before Dalton was killed. Unfortunately, the young, short redhead was a little too aggressive for either Dalton or Cain to trust him with too much responsibility or information about their operations and business a.s.sociates.
At first, Danny accepted his low-man-on-the-totem-pole position, since his family relations wouldn't get him a more important role in the business. But with each pa.s.sing year he resented his status more, and he centered his hate on Cain.
He blamed her for locking him out of the main family business and was quick to complain to anyone willing to listen. The attempted rape was his way of trying to show those closest to Cain how weak she'd become, and he had gambled on her falling apart after she saw Emma broken and b.l.o.o.d.y.
He wasn't planning to take over the family. Even he wasn't so stupid as to think he could. He just wanted someone else at the helm who would give him a chance--the chance to prove he was man enough to expand their operation and up their profits, at the expense of the store owners who dealt with Cain. To him they were all pathetic sheep whom he could bend to the will of his gun.
”So close” became his mantra when Cain spared his life after he attacked Emma. With the woman's underwear feeling silky under his fingertips, he had come so close before the dark side of his cousin's nature turned its fury on him. It had taken months for the bones in his once-handsome face to mend, and weeks for the bruises on Cain's knuckles to fade, but she had let him live. His only punishment was banishment from her family and her business.
The reprieve that allowed him to keep breathing came from the most surprising of places. He owed his life to the woman he had tried to humiliate. The fact gave him no cause to be grateful. Instead, it reinforced his resentment of Cain and the fact that she had been given everything in life. Her decision to give in to Emma's request only strengthened Danny's resolve to crush his cousin through those she loved.
”Baby, where are you?” Cain called from the foyer as she flipped through the stack of mail on the small table by the door. When Emma didn't answer, Cain turned around and noticed the pile of luggage in the den.
The number of bags foretold a long absence, and Cain dropped all the envelopes when she spotted Emma sitting on one of the sofas in the room, wiping away tears with a tissue.
”Going somewhere?”
Emma flinched at the question.
Cain knew she hadn't spoken roughly and wondered if Emma was afraid she'd be angry with her answer.
”I'm going home.”
She turned to the bags again before she concentrated on Emma. She unb.u.t.toned her jacket and took it off before sitting down across from Emma, realizing she was going to be in for a long talk. ”I thought this was home.”
”I'm going home to my parents, Cain.” Emma stopped and put her hands up to her face to wipe away the tears. ”I'm not coming back, and I'm begging you to not try and talk me out of it.”
”I know you're scared, sweetling, but you can't just give up and walk away. Danny's never going to hurt you again, and I swear on my life, I'll keep you and Hayden safe.”
”That's not enough anymore, Cain. I don't want to raise a child in all this turmoil. Can't you understand that?” Emma looked at her lap.
”Emma, you know I love you, right?”
”I know you do, honey. This isn't about me questioning your feelings or your commitment to me. It's this life I can't take anymore. I love you so much, but the violence and the people you surround yourself with are killing me. I can't stay.”
Cain sat back in her chair and stared up at the ceiling for a minute, not saying anything. The woman she had trusted with her true self had blindsided her, and she was having a hard time figuring out where this irrational need to flee was coming from.
Once she'd become the head of the family, Cain didn't fear much because she controlled her life and how she lived it. What scared her was what she had to take on faith, and Emma and how she felt about her was a huge part of that fear. Emma's demeanor gave her the feeling that her blind faith was about to be tested.
”What brought this on? I know you're still upset, but I won't let anyone like Danny get close to you again. You have to trust me to take care of both you and Hayden.”
Emma gazed out the window and watched Hayden trying to run around the much bigger man as he tucked the football under his arm like Cain had taught him. He had wanted to play and promised her he wouldn't get dirty, so she let him go outside. She was glad that in the safe sanctuary Cain created, his companion Mook could drop his guard and just enjoy a friendly game of tag football with the seven-year-old he had come to love. Emma thought of how oblivious her son was to this conversation and how it would change his life.
She took a deep breath and faced Cain. ”You can't be everywhere, my love, and I can't take any chances by just praying you'll keep us safe. I know this is hard, and it seems like I'm not giving you a chance, but try and understand what I'm going through. I'd never dream of keeping Hayden from you. You can see him whenever you want. Though for the first couple of months it might be better if you came to us. Just until he adjusts.”
Cain let out a loud laugh, thinking Emma was joking. She looked outside and saw how Hayden was dressed, and then scrutinized the bags. Finding his sitting next to Emma's, she realized she wasn't kidding. ”You want out, then get out. But don't be crazy enough to think you're taking Hayden. That'll never happen.”
”Cain, he's my son.” Emma put up her hands and scooted to the edge of her seat, ready to drop to her knees and beg if she had to.
”You made a commitment to me, Emma, one I'm willing to release you from, but Hayden stays here with me. Or have you forgotten who you're dealing with?”
Emma closed her eyes and saw again the blood all over Cain's hands. ”No, I could never forget that.”
She could only watch as Cain picked up the phone and called for the car. The driver loaded her bags and left Hayden's for the nanny to put back in his rooms.
”Is this your final decision? It's not too late for the staff to take your bags up with Hayden's.”
Emma stood up and moved closer to Cain, stopping when one of her hands went up.
”I asked you a question.”
”I can't stay.”
Without another word, Cain headed for her study. The door closed, with a slam of finality.
When Emma moved to the patio doors leading out to the yard, one of Cain's guards stepped into her path and shook his head. She would have no tearful good-byes with her son. She turned next to the closed door of the study and let out a sob for what she was losing.
Because of the solid oak door to Cain's sanctuary, Emma would never see the luxury Cain afforded herself, crying out all of her pain alone. Nor would she see the extent of the hurt she left behind when the front door clicked closed, locking her out of Cain's and her son's lives for over four years. All by her own choosing.
When Emma left, she had never feared reprisal from Cain, but losing four years with her young son had been a steep price to pay. Now she found herself questioning if she should have left. Cain had been very generous with her so far. But if she hadn't drawn the line when Cain killed Danny for something he had almost done, where would she have drawn it? The price of staying in the mobster's bed was just too high, and she had so much more to think about than just herself.