Part 19 (1/2)
”I agree with you in the main,” said the Colonel! ”there is very little in any man's private life which is of concern to any one but himself.
The lady we are speaking of knows this, and makes her fortune by her knowledge. The truth is that we all love a little plain-spokenness.
There is far too much praise about. Tell a fool that he is not a clever man discreetly, and you flatter him; inform him that he is a brainless a.s.s, and he will kick you. But when you put a black cap on your head, and take a wand in your hand, and charge a guinea for the spectacle, the fool will hear of his folly cheerfully.”
”Then the girl you mention is a mere vulgar fortune-teller,” said I, intervening for the first time. ”It's astonis.h.i.+ng how little difference there is, when you come to reckon it up, between the tastes of a grand dame and the tastes of her cook. The one goes in at the front door to get her hand read for a guinea; the other goes out of the back to have an equally plausible delineation for sixpence. Credulity does not know any distinction of cla.s.s; in the case I mention rank is represented by one pound odd. Those of us who have no particular objection to spill salt, s.h.i.+ver to see the new moon through gla.s.s. That man alone who tells you frankly that he believes in all superst.i.tions is free from the blemish. But common fortune-telling, I confess, leaves me unmoved.”
”If it began and ended in the mere vulgar allotment of tragedy and of marriage, I should agree with you,” said Bracebridge, speaking with unusual seriousness; ”but I am inclined to think that this is a case of noteworthy cleverness, or at least of uncommon wit. The girl, possibly, is a charlatan: but if one half said of her be true, she is the _best_ at the profession we have known. And after all, it's an achievement to be _the_ best at some occupation, if it's only that of picking pockets.”
”Speaking of that,” said Oldfield, ”I once knew a man in the '60th' who was proud because a society paper described him as the finest idler in Europe. That was a negative distinction of surpa.s.sing beauty, you must admit. In the lady's case, however, there is something substantial to praise. She can talk of things of which I would not attempt to spell the name, with a fluency which is charming, if it is not accurate; she has a room full of unreadable books; and I believe there are a dozen men in town who will swear that she has made diamonds before their very eyes. That should interest you, Sutton. A woman who is the possessor of what she calls the 'alkahest' or universal solvent, is not to be interviewed for a guinea every day. Besides, she might give you some useful hints.”
”And who knows,” said Bracebridge, ”what might come of it. I presume you pay three pounds odd an ounce for the genuine metal to-day. Under certain contingencies, you might get it for threepence, and a wife into the bargain.”
I listened to their banter with amus.e.m.e.nt for some minutes, and then cut in a little seriously.
”I did not know,” said I, ”that physiognomy and alchemy usually ran well in double harness, but I must take your word for it. Anything of this sort is always amusing to a jeweler, though he is apt to get a little too much of it. The last gold maker who came to me began by promising to make a million in six months, and ended by wanting to borrow half-a-crown. I've seen scores of that sort.”
”You may laugh at her as much as you please,” said Oldfield; ”but of one thing be a.s.sured. If I am any judge of precious stones at all, she can make rubies, and good ones too. She cast one for me when I was last at her place, and I offered her fifty pounds upon the spot for it. A quack would have taken the money, but she refused it; you couldn't want any better proof of her _bona fides_ than that.”
”Pardon me,” I interrupted, ”but I can't accept the conclusion. Probably the ruby you thought she made was the only one in the place. It was like the stock knife of the Cheap Jack. You couldn't expect her to part with it.”
”Certainly I did. If she had made only one stone, I should have jumped to your opinion; but she turned them out by the dozen. Most of them were small; some were altogether too insignificant to notice. One only, as I say, was substantial; and in explanation of that, she admitted her want of control over the action of the crystals in the crucible. Sometimes they will prove worth money; more often they are quite without value.
But she has hopes that the day will come when she will complete a discovery which will astonish the universe.”
”They all hope that,” said I; ”but the universe remains unmoved.”
”And, of course, you don't believe a word of it,” cried Bracebridge, as he helped himself to salad. ”Well, it's part of your business, I suppose, to believe only in what you see, and not altogether in that.
But the Colonel's right about the girl, and I can second every word he says. She made a piece of gold as big as your thumbnail before my very eyes. There was no pretense or humbug about it; and I may tell you that she'll only do this sort of thing for those she knows well. If you went to her to-morrow, and said, 'I want to see your experiments,' she'd laugh at you, and send you away feeling like a fool.”
”And seriously,” said I, beginning to experience a glimmer of interest, ”you believe that she has discovered something of importance?”
”Seriously I do; and if you went to her house you would swear by her for the next month, possibly for two.”
”You don't convince me at all,” I replied, trying to look utterly unconcerned. ”I have known too many gold-makers for that. Some of them are now in workhouses; others are in prison. One of the last got three months for stealing an overcoat, which was ridiculously unromantic.”
”Not at all,” said the Colonel; ”theft is a complex subject capable of a.n.a.lysis. A thief is a man who buys in the cheapest market. We all try to do that in our way. There is no earthly reason why a _savant_, who is near to possessing the philosopher's stone, should not be charged before a magistrate with stealing a red herring. Life is all contrast, and the contrast we speak of is a very pretty one. Go and see her at your earliest opportunity.”
”That's my advice too,” said Bracebridge; ”and if you've a fancy to watch her at the crucible, I'll speak for you. What's more, I'll bet you an even hundred pounds that you admit my conclusions.”
”Which are?” I asked.
”That she has come nearer to the solution of the diamond problem than any man or woman living or dead.”
”I don't bet on certainties,” said I; ”but if you care to trouble the lady to burn her doubtlessly pretty hands on my account, well, let's have the interview by all means. If she convinces me that she can make any sort of precious stone worth selling in the market, I'll give a hundred pounds to a children's hospital--the Colonel can name it.”
”Is it a serious offer?” asked the Colonel, looking, as I thought, a little meaningly at Bracebridge, but I said,--
”I was never more serious, and town will be quite dismal enough after this week” (it was the week of Goodwood). ”Fix it up as early as you can; and conjure the lady, whose name I have not yet had the pleasure of hearing, to take care of your reputation. If she can cast me a ruby or a sapphire worth looking at, I will set it in diamonds and make her a present of it. You may tell her so from me.”
”I'll give her your message undiluted,” said Bracebridge, with a great deal of content, ”but I'll warrant that she'll have the laugh of you, and so shall we.”