Part 12 (2/2)

Lily swayed on the spot, considering an idea that came to her. She could go and call on Barbara Eager. Barbara was forever hinting at visiting the cottage, and Lily knew the woman longed to take her in hand. She could go and ask about the writing circle, or tell Barbara about the Crantons' invitation. Two excuses! What more could she need? This, she told herself, had nothing to do with the desire to come across Peverel Othman.

Lily washed her face at the kitchen sink, dried herself on a tea-towel that smelled of cat food, and put on a pair of Owen's boots. Halfway to the back door, she reconsidered, and changed the boots for a pair of sandals. Then, she caught sight of herself in the mirror above the sink, and decided her hair could do with a brush. As she was dragging a greasy comb through the tangles, she noticed there was a large tomato sauce stain on her dress. Uttering a muted cry of annoyance, she picked up a damp, grey rag from the draining board. After scrubbing uselessly at the stain for a few seconds, she stamped her foot and wriggled out of the dress, which she threw on the kitchen floor. Beneath it, she was naked. What to wear? What to wear? Lily darted upstairs. Perhaps she should put some knickers on. She did not possess a bra. Eventually, she found a faded lilac coloured dress, which she thought might once have belonged to her mother, and which wasn't too wrinkled. In fact, it looked quite good. She inspected herself in the cloudy cheval gla.s.s in her bedroom. And groaned. Then, grabbing a long cardigan, with holes recently darned, she hurried out of the house before she could change her mind.

It felt strange, going to The White House during the day, but then Lily knew that all buildings possessed different personae for the dark hours and the light. As usual the small reception desk in the hall was unstaffed, with a printed notice sitting on the counter, advising potential residents to make enquiries in the bar.

Shuni Perks, a girl Lily's age, and sister of Owen's friend, Ray, was slouched behind the bar, chewing her nails. She always made Lily shudder; there was something bas.e.m.e.nt-like about Shuni Perks, which Lily detested, a hint of damp and must and fungus. Is Mrs Eager about?' Lily tried to sound pleasant and friendly.

Shuni didn't look too pleased to see her, but there was caution in her body posture rather than hostility. Yeah, upstairs.'

There was a pause. Well, I'd like to see her. Could you get her for me?'

Shuni smirked in a half c.o.c.ky, half nervous manner and thumbed an intercom b.u.t.ton on the wall beside the optics. Lily heard Barbara's breathless, Ye-ess?'

Lily Winter here to see you,' Shuni said. It was almost as if she expected Barbara to be embarra.s.sed.

Lily? Oh, right. I'll come down.'

Hear that?' Shuni said.

Lily nodded and moved away from the bar, hands deep in her cardigan pockets. She wondered what she was doing here. She wondered why she felt so excited and tense.

Barbara breezed into the bar, just as Lily was drifting back into the hallway, having been made uncomfortable by Shuni's covert scrutiny. Barbara, as ever, was impeccably dressed in a cream trouser suit with a floor-length, wafting waistcoat. Her hair tumbled luxuriously, almost impudently, over her shoulders. Lily realised that Barbara was actually a very attractive woman, and must have been absolutely stunning twenty years ago. Lily! What a surprise! I was just doing the accounts. Horrible job! What a welcome distraction! What can I do for you?'

Confronted, Lily felt completely dumb. Perhaps Barbara's friendliness hadn't meant anything. Perhaps she was like that with all her customers. Was Lily intruding now? She felt her face grow hot. Er - well - my writing and - um - Low Mede - the meal...' She shrugged helplessly.

Aha!' Barbara laughed delightedly, putting the palms of her hands together before her face. I see! You're worried about the do at the Crantons, aren't you!' She put a proprietorial arm around Lily's shoulders and dragged her towards the door marked Private' in the hall. There's no need to worry, Louis's a perfectly lovely man! It won't be formal, or anything.'

Relieved, Lily went along with Barbara's a.s.sumption. Well, I was a bit worried about what to wear and stuff. I've got some dresses of Mum's, but...'

She followed Barbara up the private stairway to the Eagers' first floor flat. The air smelled of fruit. Incense or burning oil, she thought.

Why don't you buy something new?' Barbara suggested, gesturing for Lily to proceed her into an airy lounge. She hoped she wasn't being presumptuous, but it was common knowledge the twins had a private income. Poor things, they just didn't know how to manage their money, or themselves. Barbara itched to have a hand in their affairs, confident she could work miracles.

Lily was afraid to sit down on the blonde sofa, in case she got it dirty. I suppose I could,' she said, but there isn't much time, now.'

Tell you what!' Barbara said, brightly, balancing in a girlish manner on the arm of the sofa. I could drive you to Patterham tomorrow morning. How about that? We could go shopping together!'

Lily hadn't expected that. That's nice of you, Mrs Eager... Thanks.'

It'll be fun. Now, come and sit down. And please - it's Barbara.'

Timidly, Lily edged around a black lacquered occasional table and sat on the edge of the sofa. Please don't leave marks, she told herself.

Barbara went to make tea, and Lily inspected her surroundings. It was so elegant. She wished the cottage could be like this: clean and fragrant and airy. Barbara had collected all kinds of nick-nacks which stood on various display stands and shelves around the walls. There were a couple of dark old portraits of shadowy women, obviously genuine antiques.

Barbara came back, carrying a wooden tray, rag-rolled by hand in dusty-blue paint. There was an enormous teapot in fiery red china and red mugs, decorated with birds of paradise in gold, jade and purple. What lovely things, Lily thought. I wish I had lovely things. She realised she wouldn't know where to start.

Barbara sat down next to Lily and poured tea, Earl Grey. I hope you like this,' she beamed, handing Lily a mug. So, you also mentioned your writing downstairs. How are you getting on?' She was flattered that Lily had obviously come to her for advice or feedback.

It's harder than I thought,' Lily answered, sipping the delicately flavoured tea. Owen and she drank tea like tar: almost black and with several spoons of sugar each. Barbara had not offered sugar. I mean, there's so much I want to say, and I can think it right through, but when I come to write down my thoughts, it sounds stupid or boring.'

Barbara smiled encouragingly. Everybody says that! Your writing's probably not as bad as you think.' She hoped she was right. You must bring something along to one of my meetings.'

Lily couldn't help frowning. Well, maybe...'

Or if you prefer,' added Barbara intuitively, you could bring it round when I'm on my own, and I'll read it through, and we could talk about it.'

That would be better,' said Lily. She wondered how she could introduce the subject of Peverel Othman without being obvious. Perhaps Barbara hadn't paid that much attention to him, or disliked him for having long hair and no tie. Lily would hate it if she mentioned him, and Barbara screwed up her nose in distaste, or murmured things about unsuitability. Lily was always very conscious of being unsuitable in society that considered itself polite.

Barbara touched Lily's arm. I'm so pleased you've come to see me.'

Lily grinned awkwardly. Perhaps it had been a mistake to come. I was at home on my own,' she said lamely, and then took a deep breath. We've got to know one of your guests...'

Oh, that will be Pev!' Barbara said.

Lily winced at the intimate short form of his name. Yes. Peverel Othman.'

Poor girl, thought Barbara. Here she is, struggling to make conversation, and it all comes out so stilted! She wondered how she could put Lily at her ease. Not the usual sort we attract round here, is he?'

Lily smiled. No. Not really.'

He seems to have taken a s.h.i.+ne to you and Owen.'

Lily wondered how much she wanted to talk about Othman with Barbara. There was no way she could, or should, confess even a little of what had happened in the cottage on Sunday night. Yet talking about him seemed the next best thing to seeing him. It makes a change,' she said. I don't get to see many people.'

Barbara's face a.s.sumed an expression of concern. Oh, Lily, are you lonely?' She felt that might be too direct for this retreating creature, and half expected Lily to make some excuse and leave abruptly.

Not lonely,' Lily answered, surprisingly readily. But something.' She smiled tightly at Barbara. I must be boring you.'

Barbara shook her head vigorously. No, no! I am concerned about you, Lily. You're such an attractive, bright girl...' She winced at her patronising tone. I'm sorry. That sounds terrible. I don't mean to be condescending, but I suppose there's no easy way to say it. I think you could do a lot more with your life.' There, it was said. Would Lily leave now, take offence?

Lily however was clearly not a predictable creature.

That could be said of most people in the village,' Lily answered. This is our life. Quite small. I'm not unhappy, though. Owen and I have everything we need. I don't hanker for anything else.' She wondered whether this was true. Things seemed to have changed recently.

Barbara wanted to say that Lily could tidy herself up a bit, do something with the cottage, but felt these suggestions were too forward. She would have to get to know Lily better, nudge her along gently rather than charge in. Well, I'm glad you came to see me.' She risked a more personal remark. I don't get to see my own daughter very often.'

Lily nodded. Yes, I know.'

Do you miss your mother?'

Not now. Well, sometimes, I suppose.' She smiled, more freely this time. I'm always surrounded by boys - Owen and his friends.'

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