Part 33 (1/2)

When the impromptu gathering was called to order that night by Ezra Pounder, the town clerk (acting in an unofficial capacity), there were nearly two hundred and fifty men present, including Messrs. January and Smith. Uncle Dad Simms, aged eighty-four, was present, occupying a front seat. He confessed for the first time in his life that he was a little ”hard o' hearin'.” This was a most gratifying triumph for his fellow-citizens, who for a matter of twenty years had almost yelled their lungs out advising him to get an ear-trumpet, only to have him say: ”What in thunder are you whisperin' about?”

The three clergymen of the town put in an appearance, and Elmer K.

Pratt, the photographer, brought his seven-months-old baby, explaining that it was _his_ night to take care of her. He a.s.sured the gentlemen present that they were at liberty to speak as freely and as loudly as they pleased, so far as his daughter was concerned; if she got awake and started to ”yap,” he'd spank the daylights out of her, and if that didn't shut her up he'd take her home.

Anderson Crow, wearing all his decorations, occupied a chair between Mr.

Pounder and Harry Squires, the _Banner_ reporter. By actual count there were seven badges ranging across his chest. Prominent among them were the familiar emblems of the two detective a.s.sociations to which he paid annual dues. Besides these, one could have made out the star of the town marshal, the s.h.i.+eld of the fire chief, badges of the Grand Army of the Republic, Sons of Veterans, Sons of the Revolution, and the Tinkletown Battlefield a.s.sociation.

Harry Squires, at the request of Mr. Crow, arose and stated the object of the meeting.

”Gentlemen,” he began, ”the time has come for action. We have been patient long enough. A small committee of citizens got together today, and acting upon the suggestion of our distinguished Marshal, decided to make a determined effort to restore peace and confidence into the home of practically every gentleman in this community. It is a moral certainty that all of us can't be the individual in Mr. Loop's woodpile, but it is also more or less an immoral certainty that Mrs. Loop obstinately refuses to vindicate an overwhelming majority of the citizens of this town.

”The situation is intolerable. We are in a painful state of perplexity.

One of us, gentlemen, appears to be a _Lothario_. The question naturally arises: which one of us is it? n.o.body answers. As a matter of fact, up to date, n.o.body has actually _denied_ the charge. Can it be a matter of false pride with us? Ahem! However, not only does Mrs. Loop decline to lift the shadow of doubt, but Mr. Loop has a.s.sumed a most determined and uncharitable att.i.tude toward his friends and neighbours. He positively refuses to come to our rescue. We have put up with Mr. Loop for a great many years, gentlemen, and what do we get for our pains? Nothing, gentlemen, nothing except Mr. Loop's cheerful wink when he pa.s.ses us on the street. Our esteemed Marshal today proposed to Mr. Loop that he offer a suitable reward for the apprehension of the man in the case. He gave him the opportunity to do something for his friends and acquaintances. What does Mr. Loop say to the proposition? He was more than magnanimous. He as much as said that he couldn't bear the idea that any one of his numerous friends was innocent.

”Now, while Mr. Loop may feel that he is being extremely generous, we must feel otherwise. Gentlemen, we have arrived at the point where we must take our reputations out of Eliphalet Loop's hands. We cannot afford to let him trifle with them any longer. Mr. Loop refuses to employ a detective. Therefore it is up to us to secure the services of a competent, experienced sleuth who can and will establish our innocence. It will cost us a little money, possibly fifty cents apiece; but what is that compared to a fair name? I am confident that there isn't a man here who wouldn't give as much as ten dollars, even if he had to steal it, in order to protect his honour. Now, gentlemen, you know what we are here for. The meeting is open for suggestions and discussion.”

He sat down, but almost instantly arose, his gaze fixed on an object in the rear of the hall.

”I see that Mr. Loop has just come in. Perhaps he has some news for us.

Have you anything to say, Mr. Loop?”

Mr. Loop got up and cleared his throat.

”Nothin',” said he ”except that I'm as willin' as anybody to subscribe fifty cents.”

Harry Squires suddenly put his hand over his mouth and turned to Marshal Crow. The Marshal arose.

”This ain't no affair of yours, Liff Loop. n.o.body invited you to be present. You go on home, now. Go on! You've contributed all that's necessary to this here meetin'. Next thing we know, you'll be contributin' your mother-in-law too. Get out, I say. Open the door, Jake, an' head him that way. Easy, now! I didn't say to _stand_ him on his head. He might accidently squash that new fewdory hat he's wearin'.”

After Mr. Loop's unceremonious departure, the Marshal resumed his seat and fell to twisting his spa.r.s.e whiskers.

”What is your opinion, Mr. Crow,” inquired Harry Squires, ”as to the amount we would have to pay a good detective to tackle the job?”

Mr. Crow ran a calculating eye over the crowd. He did not at once reply.

Finally he spoke.

”Between a hundred and five an' a hundred an' seven dollars,” he said.

”It might run as high as hundred and ten,” he added, as two or three belated citizens entered the hall.

”Can we get a goot man for dot amoundt?” inquired Henry Wimpelmeyer, the tanyard man.

”Well, we can get one that c'n tell whether it's daylight or dark without lightin' a lantern to find out,” said Mr. Crow in a slightly bellicose tone.

”I ain't so sure aboudt dot,” said Henry, eying the Marshal skeptically.

He had had it in for Marshal Crow ever since that official compelled him to hang an American flag in front of his tanyard.

Luckily Uncle Dad Simms, who had not heard a word of the foregoing remarks, piped up.

”This ain't no time to be thinkin' of unnecessary improvements, what with peace not signed yet, an' labor an' material so high. I don't see that there's any call for a new roof, anyway. S'posin' it does leak a little once in a while. We've all got umbrellas, I guess, an'--”