Part 13 (1/2)
”Excuse me, the general drying up of wells....”
”Don't interrupt me,” bawled the magistrate. ”You should have produced your defence then and there, when and where you were accused; but as you did not appear at the appointed time, and obstinately procrastinated, you must listen to the sentence. All those boys and girls brought up within your premises must be taken into the country town and baptized according to the ordinances of religion.”
”Could not the matter be finished here at once by the spring?”
The magistrate was beside himself with anger. But the good lawyer only smiled and said:
”Pray, sir, show a little common sense. The County Court compels none, against his will, to be a Christian: still one must belong to some religion. So if your lords.h.i.+p will not take the trouble to go with his household to the 'pater,' well, we shall take him to the rabbi: that will do just as well.”
Topandy laughingly shook a menacing fist at the lawyer.
”You're a great gibbet! You always manage me. Well, let us rather go to the 'pater' than to the rabbi; but at least let my servants keep their old names.”
”That is also inadmissible,” answered the magistrate severely. ”You have given your servants names, of a kind not usually borne by men. One is called Pirok,[23] another Czinke:[24] the name of one little girl--G.o.d save the mark--is Beelzebub! Who would register such names as these?
They will all receive respectable names to be found in the Christian calendar; and any one, who dares to call them by the names they have hitherto borne shall pay as great a fine as if he had purposely calumniated a fellow-man. How many are there whom you have kept back in this manner from the water of Christianity?”
[Footnote 23: Chaffinch.]
[Footnote 24: t.i.tmouse, names of birds given as pet names to these servants.]
”Four butlers, three maid-servants and two parrots.”
”Perjurer! Your every word is spittle in the face of the true believers.”
”Oh, gag me. I beg you to save me from perjury.”
”Kindly call the people in question.”
Topandy turned round and called to his butler who stood behind him:
”Produce Pirok, Estergalyos,[25] Seprunyel,[26] then Kakukfu,[27] and Macskalab;[28] comfort them with the news that they are going to enter Heaven, and will receive a fur-coat, a pair of boots, and a good gourd, from which the wine will never fail: all the gift of the honorable County Court.”
[Footnote 25: Turner.]
[Footnote 26: Broom.]
[Footnote 27: Thyme.]
[Footnote 28: Catsfoot.]
”For my part,” said the young representative of the law, standing on tip-toe, ”I must ask you seriously to answer, with the moderation due to our presence, have you hidden any one?”
”Whether I have stolen away someone on h.e.l.l's account? No, my dear fellow, I don't court Satan's acquaintance either: let him catch men for himself, if he can.”
”I have a mandatum for your examination on oath.”
”Keep your mandatum in your pocket, and measure out thirty florins'
worth of oats from my granary: that's the fine. For I don't intend to be examined on oath.”