Part 11 (1/2)

'I expect you're saying that to ease my guilt.'

'No, truly, Lady. The commander wanders at night too, and he won't consent to a guard, even when the king orders it. If we're out with you we have an excuse to keep an eye on him.'

'I see,' Fire said, perhaps a bit sardonically. 'Fewer guards tonight,' she added, but Musa ignored this and woke as many as she'd woken the night before.

'It's orders,' Musa said, as the men sat up blearily and strapped on their weapons.

'And if the commander doesn't follow the king's orders, why should you follow the commander's?'

Her question generated more than one set of raised eyebrows. 'Lady,' Musa said, 'the soldiers in this army would follow the commander off a cliff if he asked it.'

Fire was beginning to feel irritable. 'How old are you, Musa?'

'Thirty-one.'

'Then the commander should be a child to you.'

'And you an infant, Lady,' Musa said dryly, surprising a smile onto Fire's face. 'We're ready. You lead the way.'

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SHE HEADED TOWARD the same mound of rock she'd climbed earlier, because it would bring her closer to the sky and because she sensed it would also bring her guard closer to the insomniac they weren't supposed to be guarding. He was among those boulders somewhere, and the rise was broad enough that they could share it without meeting.

She found a high, flat rock to sit on. Her guard scattered themselves around her. She closed her eyes and let the night wash over her, hoping that after this she'd be weary enough for sleep.

She didn't move at the sense of Brigan's approach, but at the retreat of her guard she opened her eyes. He'd propped himself against a rock several paces from her. He was looking at the stars.

'Lady,' he said in greeting.

'Lord Prince,' she said, quietly.

He leaned there for a moment, gaze tilted upward, and Fire wondered if this was to be the extent of their conversation. 'Your horse is named Small,' he said finally, startling her with the randomness of it.

'Yes.'

'Mine is named Big.'

And now Fire was smiling. 'The black mare? Is she very big?'

'Not to my eyes,' Brigan said, 'but I did not name her.'

Fire remembered the source of Small's name. Indeed, she could never forget the man Cansrel had abused for her sake. 'An animal smuggler gave Small his name. A brutish man called Cutter. He thought any horse that didn't respond well to flogging was small-minded. '

'Ah. Cutter,' Brigan said, as if he knew the man; which, after all, should not be surprising, as Cansrel and Nax had probably shared suppliers. 'Well, I've seen what your horse is capable of. Obviously he's not small-minded.'

It was a dirty trick, his continued kindness to her horse. Fire took a moment to swallow her grat.i.tude, all out of proportion, she knew, because she was lonesome. She decided to change the subject. 'You can't sleep?'

He turned his face away from her, laughed shortly. 'Sometimes at night my head spins.'

'Dreams?'

'I don't get close enough to sleep for that. Worries.'

Cansrel used to lull her to sleep sometimes, on sleepless nights. If Brigan would ever let her, if he would ever in a million years, she could ease his worries for him; she could help the commander of the King's Army fall asleep. It would be an honourable use of her power, a practical one. But she knew better than to suggest it.

'And you?' Brigan said. 'You seem to do a lot of nighttime rambling.'

'I have bad dreams.'

'Dreams of pretend terrors? Or things that are true?'

'True,' she said, 'always. I've always had dreams of horrible things that are true.'

He was quiet. He rubbed the back of his head. 'It's hard to wake from a nightmare when the nightmare is real,' he said, his mind giving her nothing, still, of what he was feeling; but in his voice and his words she heard a thing that felt like sympathy.

'Good night to you, Lady,' he said a moment later. He turned and retreated to the lower ground of the camp.

Her guard trickled into place around her. She raised her face to the stars again and closed her eyes.

AFTER ABOUT A week of riding with the First Branch, Fire fell into a routine - if a continuum of unsettling experiences could be called a routine.

Watch out! She thought to her guards one morning at breakfast as they wrestled a man to the ground who'd come running at her with a sword. She thought to her guards one morning at breakfast as they wrestled a man to the ground who'd come running at her with a sword. Here comes another fellow with the same idea. Oh, dear Here comes another fellow with the same idea. Oh, dear, she added. I also sense a pack of wolf monsters at our western side. I also sense a pack of wolf monsters at our western side.

'Inform one of the hunting captains of the wolves, if you please, Lady,' Musa gasped, yanking at her quarry's feet and yelling at three or four guards to go punch the new attacker in the nose.

It was hard on Fire never to be allowed to be alone. Even on nights when sleep felt near, she continued her late walks with her guard, because it was the closest she could get to solitude. Most nights she crossed paths with the commander and they exchanged a few quiet lines of conversation. He was surprisingly easy to talk to.

'You let some men through your mental defences intentionally, Lady,' Brigan said to her one night. 'Don't you?'

'Some of them take me by surprise,' she said, her back resting against rock and her eyes on the sky.

'Yes, all right,' he said. 'But when a soldier marches across the entire camp with his hand on his knife and his mind wide open, you know he's coming, and in most cases you could change his intentions and turn him around if you wanted to. If that man tries to attack you, it's because you've allowed it.'

The rock on which Fire sat fit the curve of her body; she could fall asleep here. She closed her eyes and considered how to admit to him that he was right. 'I do turn a lot of men around, just as you say, and the occasional woman. My guard never even knows about them. But those are the ones who only want to look or touch or tell me things - the ones who are simply overcome, or think they love me, and are gentle in their feelings.' She hesitated. 'The ones who hate me and truly want to hurt me - yes, you're right. Sometimes I let the most malevolent men attack me. If they attack me they'll end up gaoled, and gaol is the only place other than death where they'll no longer be a danger to me. Your army's too big, Lord Prince,' she said, glancing at him. 'Too many people for me to manage all at once. I need to protect myself however I can.'

Brigan humphed. 'I don't disagree. Your guard is more than competent. As long as you can stomach the danger of it.'

'I suppose I should be more used to the feeling of danger by now,' she said. 'But it is unnerving sometimes.'

'I understand you crossed paths with Mydogg and Murgda as you left my mother's fortress in the spring,' he said. 'Did they feel dangerous to you?'

Fire remembered that unsettling double gaze. 'Obscurely. I couldn't quantify it if you asked me to, but yes, they felt dangerous.'