Part 18 (1/2)

”Why not?” Tyler asked.

”Because...,” I said, but couldn't finish.

”Because what?” Roxie demanded, hands on hips. ”You think this is no big deal? Don't you know there are girls who'd give, like, a nonvital organ to have this chance, and you're just so above it all you can't be bothered to go for a frigging photo shoot? Get over yourself, honey.”

”Get over myself?”

”Yeah. You remember the quote from Golda Meir?”

”No,” I said, putting my hands on my hips, too.

”That's because you were in the hall recovering during Orly Rothstein's project!”

”I'm sorry I missed it!”

”You should be!” Roxie barked back. ”Because Golda Meir, she was, like, some famous woman in Israel or something, and very smart.”

”Okay.”

”Yeah, well, she said, 'Don't be humble; you're not that great.'”

I smiled. Then Roxie smiled.

”I can't tell if you guys are fighting or kidding,” Emmett said.

”Me either,” I admitted.

”You really blew them off?” Roxie asked me.

I nodded.

”We have to call them right now,” she said. ”Where is your cell phone?” She held out her hand.

I gave it to her.

The warning bell rang, but we all stayed still, in the hall, while people dashed around us, and Roxie scrolled through my calls until she apparently came up with zip zip. She pressed Send and waited.

”Yes, h.e.l.lo,” she said, sounding adult and efficient. ”This is Allison Avery calling to confirm my appointment? Yes. I'm sorry. It's been a crazy week. I understand. Yes. No, it won't happen again-When? Monday at two? Is there a later-Yes, I understand. No problem. I'll be there. Thank you.”

She hung up and handed me my phone.

”Roxie,” I started.

”We'll figure it out,” she said, das.h.i.+ng off. ”I have to get to Earth science-wa-hoo!”

Ty stared at me. ”You still grounded?”

”Yeah.”

He smirked, and then, as the bell rang, he loped down the hall toward the tenth-grade wing, yelling, ”See ya.”

So that was that, then, and I had nothing to look forward to except explaining to my bio teacher why I was late and then a weekend full of nothing except Phoebe's middle school graduation and panicking about Monday. Or so I thought.

20.

WATCHING P PHOEBE GIVE her speech at her middle school graduation, I felt like my heart was going to break for her. Which was weird, because normally I mostly wanted to shove her out a window. But there she was, looking all s.h.i.+ny and sweet as always, giving the speech because she was the president of the cla.s.s (of course), and I was all set to scrunch down in my seat and mutter curses under my breath while she spun out some lame metaphor of how the graduating eighth grade was like a pot of stew or some such bull, but then there was an odd moment when she, like, freaked out and dropped the papers her speech was typed on and started crying and then, wham, out of nowhere, there was Phoebe telling her deepest feelings to the whole freaking auditorium. I missed a couple of her points when somebody's grandpa who couldn't hear through the hair in his ears kept shouting, ”WHAT DID SHE SAY?”, but I got most of it. She was going off about this dress she fell in love with, which was this supposedly amazing green Vera w.a.n.g that I had heard my parents arguing about (baby monitor), and how when she couldn't have it she felt like her life was practically over. her speech at her middle school graduation, I felt like my heart was going to break for her. Which was weird, because normally I mostly wanted to shove her out a window. But there she was, looking all s.h.i.+ny and sweet as always, giving the speech because she was the president of the cla.s.s (of course), and I was all set to scrunch down in my seat and mutter curses under my breath while she spun out some lame metaphor of how the graduating eighth grade was like a pot of stew or some such bull, but then there was an odd moment when she, like, freaked out and dropped the papers her speech was typed on and started crying and then, wham, out of nowhere, there was Phoebe telling her deepest feelings to the whole freaking auditorium. I missed a couple of her points when somebody's grandpa who couldn't hear through the hair in his ears kept shouting, ”WHAT DID SHE SAY?”, but I got most of it. She was going off about this dress she fell in love with, which was this supposedly amazing green Vera w.a.n.g that I had heard my parents arguing about (baby monitor), and how when she couldn't have it she felt like her life was practically over.

I was like, How is my sister so spoiled? How is my sister so spoiled?

Her life was ruined by not getting a dress? A green green dress? Please. dress? Please.

I rolled my eyes at Quinn, who leaned close and whispered, ”You don't think she'll tell about Mom, do you?”

”No,” I said, just because no is my default answer; then I started worrying. No, No, I agreed with myself then. I agreed with myself then. No way Phoebe confesses Mom's sins, or failures, whatever, to the whole d.a.m.n town. No way. No way Phoebe confesses Mom's sins, or failures, whatever, to the whole d.a.m.n town. No way.

I sat up and listened carefully after that.

She didn't. Poor Phoebe, she stood up there crying, with her mascara running down her face, and told about how she had learned how to be a good friend, and how lucky she was to have all of us. I almost started to cry, too, and when she stopped for a few seconds, staring out at us like she was so lost and alone in the world, I almost ran up and grabbed her off the stage.

Afterwards, after the standing ovation and the hugs all around, I was feeling really terrific about myself. What an awesome sister I was, lecturing her to get her head out of her b.u.t.t and realize other people had problems, when she had obviously been completely dumped by her friends and was feeling so alone, but all I could think about was my own c.r.a.p. What an excellent person I am to throw the first stone.

So when Quinn was telling Phoebe on the car ride home that maybe she could have compared the green dress in her speech to the green light Jay Gatsby looks at across the water in F. Scott Fitzgerald's masterpiece, I finally had to tell Quinn to shut up and leave her alone, the speech was perfect as it was.

Phoebe looked appreciative, though still, honestly, pretty wrecked.

Her graduation party with her friends was that night, but she wasn't going. She was staying home like Cinderella without her dress. Which made me and Quinn the ugly stepsisters, I guess. I was telling that to Quinn and trying to move her past the fact that I had belittled her Gatsby Gatsby reference when the doorbell rang. reference when the doorbell rang.

Neither one of us was sure it was really the doorbell, because it wasn't the normal one. We both realized at the same second that it was the front doorbell, and raced down the stairs together, yelling, ”Coming! Hold on!” Then, since neither of us could figure out how to open the front door (which n.o.body as far as I could remember had ever actually used), we yelled to whoever it was ringing again and again to go around to the side door.

Quinn and I ran through the kitchen and out the side door. A small woman was standing outside our double front doors, holding a garment bag from Neiman Marcus and pus.h.i.+ng the doorbell. We shrugged at each other and went to find out what was up.

Well, apparently it was the green dress. Phoebe's best friend had bought it I guess, and sent her housekeeper over with it for Phoebe to wear to the graduation party that night. I had to get Phoebe out of the pool and into the shower to get ready and go out to the party in it.

So much for her life falling apart.

”Is she the luckiest person ever?” I asked Quinn as we collected shoes and makeup for her.

”Absolutely,” Quinn said. ”Always has been.”

”You're mad about Gatsby Gatsby.”

”Be ignorant; I don't care,” she said. And then, as we were doing Phoebe's hair, she accidentally/on purpose brought up the whole thing with zip zip. I didn't really mind. Phoebe looked shocked, but at least she said, ”Good luck.” Instead of, ”Why would they choose you,” or something. I did her eyes smoky. Everybody complimented her on them, and then Mom drove her off to the party.

I texted Have fun Have fun to Phoebe and then slumped down with Quinn in front of the TV in the family room, until my phone groaned. to Phoebe and then slumped down with Quinn in front of the TV in the family room, until my phone groaned.

”You have the most messed-up ring tones,” Quinn said.