Part 12 (1/2)
”You sound bad,” Roxie said after a little while.
”I am bad,” I answered.
”Here's what you are going to do,” she said. ”Are you listening?”
”Mmm-hmmm.”
”Do you have anything red?”
”Just my phone.”
”You need to wear something red,” Roxie said. ”Everybody knows when you wear red, you look hot. Red is the ultimate screw-you color.”
I let out a little laugh.
”You have to wear red, and look your absolute, most drop-dead best, when a boy you thought was going to call you doesn't. You know what the best revenge is, right?”
”Looking good,” I whispered.
”That's right. Are you looking in your closet? What do you have that's hot? No neutrals.”
”I'm all about neutrals,” I moaned.
”No, you've just been hiding your light under a bushel. Come on, Double Shot. Rally!”
”Hiding my what under a what?”
”My grandma says that. You know what else she says?”
”I'm afraid to hear,” I admitted, getting off my b.u.t.t and heading toward my closet.
”You've gotta put the bread in the window.”
”Bread?”
”Think about it. What do they do at a bakery? Do they hide the merchandise under neutral sacks? Or do they display it?”
”Bread is neutral-colored,” I pointed out, digging toward the back of my closet, stuff I hadn't worn since last summer, stuff Jade and Serena and I had decided was ”a little much.”
”You know what I mean,” Roxie said. ”Hot. Red. And you have to do the smoky eyes. Are you taking notes?”
I laughed. ”The thing is, Roxie, in all honesty, I'm not hot. I'm not gorgeous. And acting like I think I am will just be humiliating.”
”Okay, for one thing, you are are gorgeous. You just usually do everything you can to convince everybody, including yourself, that you aren't.” gorgeous. You just usually do everything you can to convince everybody, including yourself, that you aren't.”
”I wish that were true,” I moaned.
”It is, but if you don't know it, that's okay. In that case you just have to fake it.”
”But that's-”
”Haven't you ever faked sleep?” Roxie interrupted. ”Like, when your parents were coming home and you stayed up late with a babysitter or something?”
”About a million times,” I admitted. ”Sure.”
”And what happens if you have to fake sleeping for a while?”
I thought for a few seconds. ”I don't know. I usually fall asleep, I guess.”
”Exactly,” she said. ”So, what do you have that's red?”
By the time I hung up with her I was, if not psyched for the next day, at least down off the ledge, with a pile of non-neutral T-s.h.i.+rts to try on stacked beside my bed.
I set my alarm for six so I'd have time to put myself together to Roxie's specifications, forcing the thoughts out of my head about how much I didn't deserve her as a friend. I hadn't purposefully stolen her dream, and probably nothing was going to come of it anyway. Besides, I had to focus. If I was going to get revenge and look gorgeous in front of not just Tyler Moss, who didn't call me, but also Jade and Serena, who hadn't either, it was going to take all my concentration.
15.
NO HIDING TODAY, I told myself as I leaned close to my reflection to line my eyes with darkest brown kohl. If I have too wide a s.p.a.ce between my eyes, if my lips get shy, if my nose is too long and skinny, my eyebrows too dark for my coloring, my big freckle above my lip too prominent, my teeth too big, my thighs too thundering...well, that's what I look like. No hiding today.
I curled my eyelashes and stroked mascara over them. Figures the blondest thing on me would be my eyelashes. How useless is blond there?
I decided against smoky eyes, just going for a lighter ”day” look. Okay, I had studied the Makeup Tips! Makeup Tips! section of the old copy of section of the old copy of zip zip I still kept hidden under my bed. I still kept hidden under my bed. You want a light touch for day, You want a light touch for day, I reminded myself. Of all things, nerdy me, who for so long had just barely pa.s.sed as a nice, smart girl instead of a sinking-to-the-probably-more-appropriate status of outcast freak, was now attempting to ascend to the level of hot girl. I reminded myself. Of all things, nerdy me, who for so long had just barely pa.s.sed as a nice, smart girl instead of a sinking-to-the-probably-more-appropriate status of outcast freak, was now attempting to ascend to the level of hot girl.
Can we just pause and admit that this will never work? I asked my reflection. My reflection, alas (!), ignored me. I asked my reflection. My reflection, alas (!), ignored me.
So I made a quick prayer that I wouldn't make a complete a.s.s of myself as I spread the pink lip gloss Jade had given me over a copper lipstick I'd bought last year but never used after Jade said it wasn't my color. Nice girls don't wear more than a sheer lip gloss and maybe a soft coat of mascara to school, Nice girls don't wear more than a sheer lip gloss and maybe a soft coat of mascara to school, Jade had whispered to me when we first caught a glimpse of Roxie, last fall. I had agreed, then rubbed off my blush on my way to math. Jade had whispered to me when we first caught a glimpse of Roxie, last fall. I had agreed, then rubbed off my blush on my way to math.
Well, I'm not nice, I told myself as I dabbed cover-up around my nostrils. Why hide it? I told myself as I dabbed cover-up around my nostrils. Why hide it?
”Holy...” Quinn said, when she saw me.
”Too much?” I asked, ready to run back to my room and wash it all off, or at least tug my hair down in front to hide.
Quinn studied my face, judging it.
”Quinn!” I yelled.
”No, no. You look good,” she said. ”Really good. But why?”
I tried not to roll my eyes. Failed. ”You know Tyler Moss?”
”Yeah. Jock? Hottie?”