Part 3 (2/2)
She moved to stand just beside him. ”Is something amiss?” she whispered beneath her breath.
”I'm not sure.”
She swallowed at his barely audible words. And as he continued to search the area with his gaze, she became acutely aware of just how close she stood to him. She'd forgotten how large a man Lochlan really was. When surrounded by his brothers, he tended to get lost in the mix.
But like this...he was extremely unsettling. His shoulders were broad and very well muscled. The ties of his tunic had come loose, showing her the corded muscles of his chest while his hand rested on the hilt of his sword, as if ready to battle.
Personally, she'd always thought of blond men as a bit plain and feminine. Yet there was nothing plain or womanish about him. He had sharp, chiseled features and his eyes were searing with their beauty and intelligence.
But what surprised her most was the sudden urge she had to reach out and touch his cheek to feel the stubble that graced it. She didn't even know why she wanted to touch it, and yet that compulsion was so strong that she wasn't sure how she kept from complying.
Lochlan glanced down, then froze as he caught the hot look on Catarina's face. He was used to seeing l.u.s.t in a woman's eyes, but not in hers. It was both disturbing and arousing. Given the less-than-friendly nature of most of their encounters, he couldn't believe that such a look from her actually made his body heat up. A suicidal part of him even wanted to kiss her.
Och, man, stand down. You don't want to be tasting the lips of a viper. She's a h.e.l.lion for sure and the last thing you need is to be mixing with a woman who's going to complicate your already complicated life.
It was true. He only wanted peace. There was enough turmoil in dealing with his people, brothers, and mother. The last thing he wanted was to invite more misery and argument into his home. He wanted a la.s.s who was pliant and calm-natured. One who would soothe him, not rile his spirit more.
Clearing his throat, he stepped back from her and retook his horse's reins. ”Whatever I felt seems to be naught. Let's keep moving.” He started back down the road.
She moved to walk beside him. ”So how are your brothers? Is Ewan taking care of my cousin or has Nora skinned him yet?”
He kept his gaze forward and not on the fetching sight she made standing beside him. ”They're all well. And while Nora has threatened to skin him a bit, Ewan looks completely content to let her.”
”But you're worried.”
Those words succeeded in making him look at her. ”What makes you say that?”
”My mother held second sight and I have a bit of it myself. You're not at peace where your family's concerned, I can feel it.”
It was true. There was much unrest at home. Braden had told their mother of Kieran's plaid and now his mother wept with fear over the son who was lost to the world. Lochlan had promised her, he wouldn't return until he knew for certain what had happened to Kieran.
”At least I'm not running from them,” he reminded her of her own family plight.
”True. My father is a stubborn man. Like you. But I'm surprised that you've come alone. Who is leading your clan while you're away?”
”Braden and Ewan are seeing to it, along with my mother's help.”
”That seems so out of character for you. I can't imagine you entrusting anyone with your clan.”
He chose to ignore the biting sarcasm of her tone. ”I'm not entrusting just anyone, la.s.s. It's my brothers and they are well versed in clan politics. Besides, I couldn't ask my brothers to leave their wives and children for this long and I wouldn't trust such a journey to anyone but family. I was the only one who could do it. So here I am.”
”And have you found word of Kieran?”
”Aye. He left Scotland and went to the Holy Land in search of our brother Sin.”
”But he never found him.”
He shook his head. ”There were many who knew Kieran though. The last anyone saw, he was with a knight named Stryder of Blackmoor. I was told that Lord Stryder would know what became of Kieran.”
”And if you find this brother?”
”I shall beat him until he bleeds and begs me for mercy,” Lochlan growled.
”Why so angry?”
He didn't answer. Instead, he remembered the last time he'd seen his brother.
Kieran had been drunk, sitting in their childhood nursery as he wallowed about in pain. ”Do you remember the day Isobail first came here?”
Lochlan had been trying to take the mead from him, but he'd refused to let it go. Portions of it had splashed Kieran's tunic, molding it to his chest. ”I remember.”
Kieran had curled himself protectively around the jug. His eyes bloodshot, he'd stared up at Lochlan. ”How did you know she was evil?”
Knowing his brother needed compa.s.sion more than thras.h.i.+ng, Lochlan had stepped back to answer the question. ”She was calculating. Her gaze was only warm when you were looking at her. The moment you looked away, there was a coldness that would settle about her.” And they had fought that night of her arrival when Lochlan had told his brother what he'd seen. Kieran had called him a jealous b.a.s.t.a.r.d because he had the love of Isobail while Lochlan had nothing.
Kieran had sniffed back his drunken tears. ”I should have listened to you. But what do you know of love or women? I've never even seen you with one. I've oft wondered if you're even interested in them.”
Lochlan had frozen at the bitter accusation in Kieran's voice. ”What say you?”
Kieran's gaze had pierced him. ”You know what I'm saying. I think it's men who hold your interest. Is that why you turned Isobail from me? You were jealous that one of us had a woman while you can't even approach one.”
Rage had suffused him, but Lochlan had refused to give in to it. ”You're drunk.”
”I'm not the only one who thinks it. Braden, Ewan...even our mother and father. Da told me of the wh.o.r.e he'd bought for you that you spurned. He said you were nothing but a worthless gelding.”
Lochlan had backhanded his brother for that. Aye, he'd turned the woman away and paid her because no human being should have to sell themselves for food. It'd angered him that his father would be so callous. That he thought no more of people than what he could use them for.
Nor did Lochlan want to be as his father, a philanderer who held no regard for the women or b.a.s.t.a.r.ds he left behind. He'd seen the results of trifling with others' emotions. It'd ruined his mother and brother Sin, and countless others. The last thing Lochlan had ever wanted was to know a child of his was hurting.
Kieran had come at him then with a sword and they'd fought. In the end, Lochlan had disarmed his brother and sent him slamming to the ground.
Kieran had lain on the floor, flat on his back, glaring up at him. ”For once in your life, Lochlan, be a man. Kill me.”
Lochlan had sheathed his sword. ”I am a man, Kieran. Believe me. There's a lot more to manhood than fathering b.a.s.t.a.r.ds and stealing women from others. I'm not the one crying in my cups over the fact my brother ran off with my woman. If you'd been half the man you think you are, then you'd have been able to hold on to her.” It'd been a lie. Isobail's heart had been frigid and she'd only been using all of them, but at the time, he'd wanted to hurt Kieran as much as his brother had hurt him.
Kieran had laughed. ”At least I've had a woman in my bed. I'm not the weak-kneed Ganymede, hiding in my father's shadow.”
Lochlan had tightened his grip on the hilt of his sword. Afraid he might yet kill his own brother, he'd turned to leave.
”That's right, you coward. Run from the drunken unarmed sot on the floor. You're afraid of everything--women, conflict, and life. You might as well be dead for all the living you've done.
You're useless, Lochlan. Useless!”
He'd turned to glare at his brother. ”At least I'm not trying to spread misery with my life. Want to talk about useless? All you've ever been able to do is make everyone who loves you weep in grief. You're the one who should be dead.”
Those had been the last words he'd spoken to his brother and they had burned a hole in his heart every day since they'd found Kieran's sword and plaid and had a.s.sumed him dead.
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