Part 19 (1/2)
CHAPTER SEVEN: The Ministrations of the Rev. Uttermust Dumfarthing
”Well, then, gentlemen, I think we have all agreed upon our man?”
Mr. d.i.c.k Overend looked around the table as he spoke at the managing trustees of St. Osoph's church. They were a.s.sembled in an upper committee room of the Mausoleum Club. Their official place of meeting was in a board room off the vestry of the church. But they had felt a draught in it, some four years ago, which had wafted them over to the club as their place of a.s.sembly. In the club there were no draughts.
Mr. d.i.c.k Overend sat at the head of the table, his brother George beside him, and Dr. Boomer at the foot. Beside them were Mr. Boulder, Mr. Skinyer (of Skinyer and Beatem) and the rest of the trustees.
”You are agreed, then, on the Reverend Uttermust Dumfarthing?”
”Quite agreed,” murmured several trustees together.
”A most remarkable man,” said Dr. Boomer. ”I heard him preach in his present church. He gave utterance to thoughts that I have myself been thinking for years. I never listened to anything so sound or so scholarly.”
”I heard him the night he preached in New York,” said Mr. Boulder. ”He preached a sermon to the poor. He told them they were no good. I never heard, outside of a Scotch pulpit, such splendid invective.”
”Is he Scotch?” said one of the trustees.
”Of Scotch parentage,” said the university president. ”I believe he is one of the Dumfarthings of Dunfermline, Dumfries.”
Everybody said ”Oh,” and there was a pause.
”Is he married?” asked one of the trustees. ”I understand,” answered Dr. Boomer, ”that he is a widower with one child, a little girl.”
”Does he make any conditions?”
”None whatever,” said the chairman, consulting a letter before him, ”except that he is to have absolute control, and in regard to salary. These two points settled, he says, he places himself entirely in our hands.”
”And the salary?” asked someone.
”Ten thousand dollars,” said the chairman, ”payable quarterly in advance.”
A chorus of approval went round the table. ”Good,” ”Excellent,” ”A first-cla.s.s man,” muttered the trustees, ”just what we want.”
”I am sure, gentlemen,” said Mr. d.i.c.k Overend, voicing the sentiments of everybody, ”we do not want a cheap man. Several of the candidates whose names have been under consideration here have been in many respects-in point of religious qualification, let us say-most desirable men. The name of Dr. McSkwirt, for example, has been mentioned with great favour by several of the trustees. But he's a cheap man. I feel we don't want him.”
”What is Mr. Dumfarthing getting where he is?” asked Mr. Boulder.
”Nine thousand nine hundred,” said the chairman.
”And Dr. McSkwirt?”
”Fourteen hundred dollars.”
”Well, that settles it!” exclaimed everybody with a burst of enlightenment.
And so it was settled.
In fact, nothing could have been plainer.
”I suppose,” said Mr. George Overend as they were about to rise, ”that we are quite justified in taking it for granted that Dr. McTeague will never be able to resume work?”