Part 11 (1/2)

From: Carrie

To: Mama

Sent: Jan. 5, 2001

Subject: Memphis

Driving to the hotel, my thoughts wandered to Hollywood (the show business part). Somehow I was reminded of this great quote about the nurse in Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet. The scholar Henry Hudson said: ”She knows less than nothing of love and marriage, because she has worn their prerogatives without any feeling of their sacredness.” I was thinking about just how much of that there is in Hollywood, with its so-called artists and people who want to be famous (that hollow goal)! Oh, how I love the singer that hits a clam with conviction simply because (s)he's so wrapped up in telling the story that hitting a sour note is no big deal.

Sacredness. What do you hold sacred, Mama? That's such a great question to pose to ourselves. I'll think on it further, but my immediate response is: ”That last shred of integrity.” Now there's a word!

Later, Mama.

XO

From: Mama

To: Carrie

Sent: Jan. 5, 2001

I'm not exactly sure what I hold sacred. So many things, when I think about it. Certainly love and those I hold dear. Integrity is a good one. I like to think I have it. I've never purposely harmed anyone, although I don't think you can get through this life without hurting some people. I remember a quote I read a long time ago, that expresses something I'd like to achieve in this lifetime: ”Untouched by triumph, and untroubled by failure.”

From: Carrie

To: Mama

Sent: Jan. 6, 2001

”Untroubled by failure ...” Hmmm.

I remember being crazed over a particularly bad review I got for that TV movie you and I did together, Hostage. I think that's why I quit acting for a long while and plunged into my music. I was seriously ”troubled by failure.” How wrong I was to focus on the negativity of it all. Not that I regret doing music, it's just that I hate the idea of letting one person's opinion scare me off. I'm happy to say I've learned to please myself first in everything I tackle!

This trip just gets better and better. Coming into Memphis there's a HUGE billboard with the hand and bejeweled sleeve of Elvis pointing to the right that says: GRACELAND (with directions). I've booked a room at the Peabody, a very nice hotel just two blocks from where all the blues clubs are. I'll go there tomorrow. Tonight I want to write and order room service again. There's a fraternity staying here (oh Lord), but not anywhere near my room. It's blissfully quiet AND I can open the windows without using my screwdriver!