Part 41 (1/2)
”Ah, none other than Corporal n.o.bbs,” said Lord Vetinari.
At this point n.o.bby would have given quite a lot to be anyone anyone other than Corporal n.o.bbs. other than Corporal n.o.bbs.
He wasn't sure whether, as a striker, he should salute. He saluted anyway, on the basis that a salute was seldom out of place.
”I gather you have withdrawn your labor,” Lord Vetinari went on. ”In your case, I am sure this presented a good deal of difficulty.”
n.o.bby wasn't certain about that sentence, but the Patrician seemed quite amiable.
”Can't stand by when the security of the city's concerned, sir,” he said, oozing affronted loyalty from every unblocked pore.
Lord Vetinari paused long enough for the peaceful, everyday sounds of a city apparently on the brink of catastrophe to filter into n.o.bby's consciousness.
”Well, of course I wouldn't dream of interfering,” he said at last. ”This is Guild business. I'm sure His Grace will understand fully when he returns.” He banged on the side of the coach. ”Drive on.”
And the coach was gone.
A thought that had been nudging n.o.bby for some time chose this moment to besiege his once again.
Mr. Vimes is going to go spare. spare. He's going to go mental. He's going to go mental.
Lord Vetinari sat back in his seat, smiling to himself.
”Er...did you mean mean that, sir?” said the clerk Drumknott, who was sitting opposite. that, sir?” said the clerk Drumknott, who was sitting opposite.
”Certainly. Make a note to have the kitchen send them down cocoa and buns around three o'clock. Anonymously, of course. It's been a crime-free day, Drumknott. Very unusual. Even the Thieves' Guild is lying low.”
”Yes, my lord. I can't imagine why. When the cat's away...”
”Yes, Drumknott, but mice are happily unenc.u.mbered by apprehensions of the future. Humans, on the other hand, are. And they know that Vimes is going to be back in a week or so, Drumknott. And Vimes will not be happy. Indeed, he will not. And when a commander of the Watch is unhappy, he tends to spread it around with a big shovel.”
He smiled again. ”This is the time for sensible men to be honest, Drumknott. I only hope Colon is stupid enough to let it continue.”
The snow fell faster.
”How beautiful the snow is, sisters...”
Three women sat at the window of their lonely house, looking out at the white Uberwald winter.
”And how cold the vind is,” said the second sister.
The third sister, who was the youngest, sighed. ”Why do we always talk about the weather?”
”Vhat else is there?”
”Well, it's either freezing cold or baking. I mean, that's it, really.”
”That is how things are in Mother Uberwald,” said the oldest sister, slowly and sternly. ”The vind and the snow and the boiling heat of summer...”
”You know, I bet if we cut down the cherry orchard, I'm sure we could put in a roller skating rink-”
”No.”
”How about a conservatory? We could grow pineapples.”
”No.”
”If we moved to Bonk we could get a big apartment for the cost of this place-”
”This is our home, Irina,” said the eldest sister. ”Ah, a home of lost illusions and thwarted hopes...”
”We could go out dancing and everything.”
”I remember vhen ve lived in Bonk,” said the middle sister dreamily. ”Things vere better then.”
”Things vere alvays alvays better then,” said the oldest sister. better then,” said the oldest sister.
The youngest sister sighed, and looked out of the window. She gasped.
”There's a man running through the cherry orchard!”
”A man man? Vot could he possibly vant?”
The youngest sister strained to see.
”It's looks like he wants...a pair a trousers...”
”Ah,” said the middle sister dreamily. ”Trousers vere better then.”
The hurrying pack stopped in a chilly blue valley when the howling filled the air.
Angua loped back to the sledge, lifted out her bag of clothes with her jaws, glanced at Carrot, and disappeared among the drifts. A few moments later she walked back again, doing up her s.h.i.+rt.
”Wolfgang's got some poor devil playing the Game,” she said. ”I'm going to put a stop to it. It was bad enough that Father kept the tradition going, but at least he played fair. Wolfgang cheats. They never never win.” win.”
”Is this the Game you told me about?”
”That's right. But Father played by the rules. If the runner was bright and nimble he got four hundred crowns and Father had him to dinner at the castle.”
”If he lost lost, then your father had him for dinner out in the woods.”
”Thank you for reminding me.”