Part 22 (1/2)

With a gesture of desperation he seized the tumblerful of tonic and drank it off at a gulp.

(4)

For some moments nothing seemed to happen.

Then he began to feel stronger and less wretched, and then came a throbbing and tingling of artery and nerve.

He had a sense of adventure, a pleasant fear in the thing that he had done. He got out of bed, leaving his cup of tea untasted, and began to dress. He had the sensation of relief a prisoner may feel who suddenly tries his cell door and finds it open upon suns.h.i.+ne, the outside world and freedom.

He went on dressing although he was certain that in a few minutes the world of delusion about him would dissolve, and that he would find himself again in the great freedom of the place of G.o.d.

This time the transition came much sooner and much more rapidly. This time the phases and quality of the experience were different. He felt once again that luminous confusion between the world in which a human life is imprisoned and a circ.u.mambient and interpenetrating world, but this phase pa.s.sed very rapidly; it did not spread out over nearly half an hour as it had done before, and almost immediately he seemed to plunge away from everything in this life altogether into that outer freedom he sought. And this time there was not even the elemental scenery of the former vision. He stood on nothing; there was nothing below and nothing above him. There was no sense of falling, no terror, but a feeling as though he floated released. There was no light, but as it were a clear darkness about him. Then it was manifest to him that he was not alone, but that with him was that same being that in his former vision had called himself the Angel of G.o.d. He knew this without knowing why he knew this, and either he spoke and was answered, or he thought and his thought answered him back. His state of mind on this occasion was altogether different from the first vision of G.o.d; before it had been spectacular, but now his perception was altogether super-sensuous.

(And nevertheless and all the time it seemed that very faintly he was still in his room.)

It was he who was the first to speak. The great Angel whom he felt rather than saw seemed to be waiting for him to speak.

”I have come,” he said, ”because once more I desire to see G.o.d.”

”But you have seen G.o.d.”

”I saw G.o.d. G.o.d was light, G.o.d was truth. And I went back to my life, and G.o.d was hidden. G.o.d seemed to call me. He called. I heard him, I sought him and I touched his hand. When I went back to my life I was presently lost in perplexity. I could not tell why G.o.d had called me nor what I had to do.”

”And why did you not come here before?”

”Doubt and fear. Brother, will you not lay your hand on mine?”

The figure in the darkness became distincter. But nothing touched the bishop's seeking hands.

”I want to see G.o.d and to understand him. I want rea.s.surance. I want conviction. I want to understand all that G.o.d asks me to do. The world is full of conflict and confusion and the spirit of war. It is dark and dreadful now with suffering and bloodshed. I want to serve G.o.d who could save it, and I do not know how.”

It seemed to the bishop that now he could distinguish dimly but surely the form and features of the great Angel to whom he talked. For a little while there was silence, and then the Angel spoke.

”It was necessary first,” said the Angel, ”that you should apprehend G.o.d and desire him. That was the purport of your first vision. Now, since you require it, I will tell you and show you certain things about him, things that it seems you need to know, things that all men need to know.

Know then first that the time is at hand when G.o.d will come into the world and rule it, and when men will know what is required of them.

This time is close at hand. In a little while G.o.d will be made manifest throughout the earth. Men will know him and know that he is King. To you this truth is to be shown--that you may tell it to others.”

”This is no vision?” said the bishop, ”no dream that will pa.s.s away?”

”Am I not here beside you?”

(5)

The bishop was anxious to be very clear. Things that had been shapelessly present in his mind now took form and found words for themselves.

”The G.o.d I saw in my vision--He is not yet manifest in the world?”

”He comes. He is in the world, but he is not yet manifested. He whom you saw in your vision will speedily be manifest in the world. To you this vision is given of the things that come. The world is already glowing with G.o.d. Mankind is like a smouldering fire that will presently, in quite a little time, burst out into flame.