Part 18 (2/2)

”And you want to become a detached and wandering Ancient Mariner from your s.h.i.+pwreck of faith with something to explain--that n.o.body wants to hear. You are going out I suppose you have means?”

The old man awaited the answer to his abrupt enquiry with a handful of lozenges.

”No,” said the Bishop of Princhester, ”practically--I haven't.”

”My dear boy!” it was as if they were once more rector and curate.

”My dear brother! do you know what the value of an ex-bishop is in the ordinary labour market?”

”I have never thought of that.”

”Evidently. You have a wife and children?”

”Five daughters.”

”And your wife married you--I remember, she married you soon after you got that living in St. John's Wood. I suppose she took it for granted that you were fixed in an ecclesiastical career. That was implicit in the transaction.”

”I haven't looked very much at that side of the matter yet,” said the Bishop of Princhester.

”It shouldn't be a decisive factor,” said Bishop Likeman, ”not decisive.

But it will weigh. It should weigh....”

The old man opened out fresh aspects of the case. His argument was for delay, for deliberation. He went on to a wider set of considerations. A man who has held the position of a bishop for some years is, he held, no longer a free man in matters of opinion. He has become an official part of a great edifice which supports the faith of mult.i.tudes of simple and dependant believers. He has no right to indulge recklessly in intellectual and moral integrities. He may understand, but how is the flock to understand? He may get his own soul clear, but what will happen to them? He will just break away their supports, astonish them, puzzle them, distress them, deprive them of confidence, convince them of nothing.

”Intellectual egotism may be as grave a sin,” said Bishop Likeman, ”as physical selfishness.

”a.s.suming even that you are absolutely right,” said Bishop Likeman, ”aren't you still rather in the position of a man who insists upon Swedish exercises and a strengthening dietary on a raft?”

”I think you have made out a case for delay,” said his hearer.

”Three months.”

The Bishop of Princhester conceded three months.

”Including every sort of service. Because, after all, even supposing it is d.a.m.nable to repeat prayers and creeds you do not believe in, and administer sacraments you think superst.i.tion, n.o.body can be d.a.m.ned but yourself. On the other hand if you express doubts that are not yet perfectly digested--you experiment with the souls of others....”

(5)

The bishop found much to ponder in his old friend's counsels. They were discursive and many-fronted, and whenever he seemed to be penetrating or defeating the particular considerations under examination the others in the background had a way of appearing invincible. He had a strong persuasion that Likeman was wrong--and unanswerable. And the true G.o.d now was no more than the memory of a very vividly realized idea. It was clear to the bishop that he was no longer a churchman or in the generally accepted sense of the word a Christian, and that he was bound to come out of the church. But all sense of urgency had gone. It was a matter demanding deliberation and very great consideration for others.

He took no more of Dale's stuff because he felt bodily sound and slept well. And he was now a little shy of this potent fluid. He went down to Princhester the next day, for his compromise of an interval of three months made it seem possible to face his episcopal routine again. It was only when he was back in his own palace that the full weight of his domestic responsibilities in the discussion of the course he had to take, became apparent.

Lady Ella met him with affection and solicitude.

”I was tired and mentally f.a.gged,” he said. ”A day or so in London had an effect of change.”

She agreed that he looked much better, and remained for a moment or so scrutinizing him with the faint anxiety of one resolved to be completely helpful.

He regarded her with a renewed sense of her grace and dignity and kindliness. She was wearing a grey dress of soft silky material, touched with blue and covered with what seemed to him very rich and beautiful lace; her hair flowed back very graciously from her broad brow, and about her wrist and neck were delicate lines of gold. She seemed tremendously at home and right just where she was, in that big hospitable room, cultured but Anglican, without pretensions or novelties, with a glow of bound books, with the grand piano that Miriam, his third daughter, was beginning to play so well, with the tea equipage of s.h.i.+ning silver and fine porcelain.

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