Chapter 149: The Deplorables (2/2)

”I had never approached anyone to become friends. If I found someone interesting, I would find out everything about them and put the dots together and profile them. Once I knew who they were essentially, I didn't feel the need to talk to them or get to know them further. This was how I got interested in criminal psychology. Normal humans were… normal. Once I started, it was like I could read their minds. But it was more difficult to read the intentions of the deviants in the society as they call them.”

He shrugged.

”And what did you find?” I asked. I wanted to unravel that beautiful mind of his. In the pursuit to comfort me, he pressed down so many of his dark thoughts and ideas. I wanted him to feel comfortable and talk about them in detail to me. I wanted to hear the raw passion oozing from his voice as he spoke about the deplorable of the society, of the grueling truth about things.

”I found myself disconnected from them, too. They were fascinating, no doubt. They were complex creatures but just the same. I think it was then I realized that each one of us has the potential for deviance. But it is not only our circumstances that make us deviants. It is the choices we make. It is the moral dilemmas we face.” He looked at me longingly before turning back to the front.

”And I knew that my father had been strict, but it was also not his fault that I was detached from the world. I had made that choice. I had made the choice to stand at the top and look down at other humans and dissect their minds.”

”But that is not all that you are, right?” I prompted. ”You have so much good in you. You want society to become better and you want to help people, too.”

Sebastian shook his head. ”Not as much as you. It was not only I met you that I realized that each human was unfathomable and rarely does a psychiatrist find out the essentials of a person. I can't place people into tiny boxes. It's not just statistics and science. It is also language and art and emotions.”

I shuddered a breath.

”And has that helped you solve cases?” I asked.

He blinked. ”I can't say for sure. I see people in a new light. I am not fighting for justice or helping people to the extent you do. I don't have the same drive as you, but my thirst for knowledge increases the more I realize how unfathomable the human mind and intentions are.” He suddenly grew silent. ”I have a Ph.D. in the subject and I just now realized these things. Isn't that funny?” he commented.

I begged to differ. ”That is not the case,” I stated. ”What we learn and what we realize are two different things. We know a lot of things in theory, but never in practice do we use them. Similarly, we know a theory or a philosophy but we might never think they are true or real until one day we suddenly find a connection to it with the world.”

He stared at me. ”Good thing I have you. You make me realize things I didn't think I was capable of.” And then he chuckled.

”What is it?” I wanted to know.

”I just thought about Alec. He tried so hard to become my friend and I protested. He latched himself onto me and I just let him.”

”I am surprised you kept him around!” I exclaimed.

”Of course, I did. At first, I think I used him as a tool to communicate with the world. But when he moved across the country and we rarely spoke, he didn't fulfill the role anymore. I still consider him my friend.”

”Ah, Sebastian realized that human connections are important!” I wanted to pinch his cheeks.

I knew that they spoke on the phone or over messages. Both of them were busy with work, both excelling in their fields. Though they rarely spoke, they could meet after years and carry forward a conversation they stopped at the last time they met.

Alec was the one who brought gossip from old classmates Sebastian didn't care for. And though Sebastian acted like he didn't care for the stories, he humored Alec and listened closely to the fates of the people he had observed.

He matched them with the profiles he had pegged them in and was sometimes surprised by the turn of events.

His friendship with Alec helped him grow.

Moreover, the whole problem with him liking me had been cleared. Something about Alec taunting Sebastian to realize that he liked me. Whatever that meant. But it had been a while and Alec was working his ass off and barely had time to breathe.

We reached the apartment and we slid out.

As we went to bed, Sebastian turned to me. ”The meeting with Alicia is tomorrow. Eleven-thirty in the morning. I took a half-day leave on our behalf. Don't worry about it.”

I sniffed. ”What would I do without you?” I whispered.

”As little as I would be able to do without you.” He kissed my nose and I bit my lip to hide the smile.