107 Adore You (2/2)

”Since when did you like me?” I was so confused.

”Shortly after you started working as my assistant. I had great admiration for you but when you said yes... I don't know when it started. But before I realized that I adored you, I was already in the middle of it.” He smiled, the corner of his lips soft.

Adore. That word was not like a violent proclamation of love. There was something soft about it that pleased the heart. It showed the willingness to wait and the respect he held for me. I knew the meaning of words, and the one he chose had pierced me completely. I would not be able to escape.

”If I knew how much I would love you when I met you, I would have fallen in love with you at first sight.” I saw his hand curl into a fist as he tried to stop himself from something. My eyes felt hot but I pushed them back.

”I'm sorry,” I said quickly. I saw him open his mouth to speak but I stopped him short. ”I am unable to commit to anything right now. It's my fault. I am not ready. But I like you, Sebastian. I really like you. While I cannot be in a relationship with you right now, I can tell you one thing. If I am entangled in a romantic relationship with anyone, it will be you. And no one else.”

He hung his head, his knuckles turning white from the force of his restraint. I almost felt sorry for him.

”I don't believe I am capable of relationships and tenderness, but for you, I will fight to rediscover the confidence in myself.” I stopped, my eyes locked on his fist. ”Will you wait for me?” He didn't respond. ”When I am better, will you do me the honor of going out for a cup of coffee for me?” I asked again.

Fear crept through me. He would reject me, I was sure for a second.

”Yes,” he whispered. I sighed in relief, sagging against the door and leaning into it.

”Are you holding yourself back?” I asked finally after a long moment of silence.

”Yes,” he said through gritted teeth.

”Why?” I had to ask.

”I am trying my best to wait for you and not force you into anything.” That made sense. But I didn't want him to hold back. My, what a conflicted and toxic person I was.

”Can't you stop holding back?” I asked. ”I know... I am selfish. But I need confirmation that you like me. I am pathetic.” I screwed my eyes tightly shut to keep from saying more. I felt the brush of his lips against mine within a fraction of a second. My breath rushed out through my nose with the shudder that went through my body. Trapped between the door and the warmth of his body, I felt safe.

'Thank you,' I chanted in my mind. Under the glow of his affection, I felt invulnerable. Something I had not felt in years. It was not an unpleasant feeling.

At least, he was not holding back any longer.