69 Gripped With Paranoia (2/2)

”I'm glad you are so easy about your symptoms. Are you making small of them?” he asked in a timid manner. How very uncanny.

”Not really. I realize that these are bad for me in the long run, but I also see the benefits they have.” I had to think about it for a moment. ”Like, the lack of sleep. I find it easier to concentrate when I get less sleep.”

Dr Knight frowned. ”I see. But why do you find it hard to sleep?”

”It is two-pronged. Firstly, I feel like someone is always watching me. Like they are going to jump out of the shadows at any time. And if I do fall asleep, I have terrible nightmares and sleep paralysis. I often find myself unable to wake up from my dreams. I can sleep up to twenty-four hours at a time if that happens.”

”And, do you have hallucinations?”

I found myself silent. I didn't know how to break it to him. ”On my first case with Sebastian, he made me lay down on something and I had the wildest episode. It's not often I hallucinate or feel that level of pressure, but I will feel the pain and sensations all over again.”

Actually, that whole sentence took me longer to say than expected.

”And was one of these episodes the reason why you came to me?” He was the visage of empathy.

”Actually, it was part of the reason. Sebastian persuaded me to come.” I was quite ashamed to say this.

”And why didn't you think of this yourself? Did you not want to come? Maybe because you don't need therapy?” His voice was free from judgment.

”I know that I am in terrible need of therapy and rehabilitation. I'm not stupid enough to believe I am invincible. But... I have had very bad encounters with psychiatrists, unfortunately.”

”Unfortunate encounters? I'm not sure I understand.” He poked for more information.

”I was taken to a therapist after fleeing from my captor. At that point, I was physically emaciated and unable to walk around. I was also reliving all the torture I had gone through for seven months. The psychiatrist basically told me to get over it and told me I was faking it.” I had to shrug. I didn't have many feelings about this person because I understood the circumstances I had faced were impossible in the eyes of others.

”And your eating habits, what about them? Any comments about that?” Dr Knight was furiously scribbling notes on a piece of paper.

”I eat a lot of vegetables and fish. I avoid meat at all costs.”

”And why is that?” he asked curiously.