53 Outtake: Howard Hunt 6 (1/2)
[Why am I so useless?]
Howard made breakfast every morning. His drunk slimeball of a father kept screaming at him to get a better job even though he had not the education or funds to afford schooling. His dad was paid enough as a police officer to provide a good life for him, but all of it came to no fruition. He had wanted to study loads of things in life, go to many places, but that father of his wasted all his money away in drinking and gambling.
What respectable citizen and social worker could make his kids suffer in such a way?
He was twenty-three at the time and struggling with two jobs and the pressure of raising his younger brother who constantly clung onto him and asked him profound questions he didn't know the answers to.
Henry Hunt was a bright child, much like his younger self, curious about the world and waiting for everything to fall to his feet. But he was no longer a child. His father had long forsaken him, and when he grew to look like his mother, much like his elder brother, he got more furious at both of them.
Howard took the beatings willingly, not wanting his younger brother to suffer the same complex family life that he had, but he would sometimes fail when he finished his job late and came back home to find his brother, head hanging, tears streaming down his cheeks, waiting to complain to his older brother of the unfair treatment of his father towards him. Howard would patiently listen.
Often, he would feel inferior to his younger brother, who he knew would have a much better life than he did. He had paved the way for his success and nothing could have stopped Henry from getting to fulfil his dreams, dreams that he had projected onto his younger brother, of a faithful relationship, of devotion to one another, and abiding faith that the universe would make their lives better.
The thirteen year-old-brother made him proud, but also put fear in him. Henry had accomplished a lot more than Howard at that age.
One evening while he worked at the local mall, a familiar figure greeted him. She was a fine-looking young woman who had been in his class for all his life. Lily, her name was. And he still remembered how chirpy she had been as a child.
She had walked up to him and asked him for the receipt before she noticed him entirely.
”Howard?” she whispered, dumbstruck at seeing her schoolmate working at the store at that age. She had always thought that he would get into some famous university and achieve a lot of things when he grew up, she had idolized him for how he had possessed his body and make himself look important despite his shabby looks.
He was stunned that she had remembered. They came from a small town where everyone knew the other people and it was not a secret that Howard was one of the more insignificant beings in their city, yet this girl who had turned out to be extremely pretty had somehow remembered him.