26 Yearning (2/2)

”What's wrong?” Mr. Butler injected.

”Nothing, Mr. Butler… just…” he scrunched his brow as he saw me struggle.

”Sebastian,” he injected.

I started.

”Urm… Sebastian…” I croaked out, unused to the feeling of his name on my tongue. ”They didn't know I could speak their language,” I laughed nervously.

He nodded, a sly look flashing across his eyes as he looked past me.

Perplexed, I looked back towards the crowd to see the rude boys looking anywhere but meeting our eyes.

Instantly, I understood what had happened.

”I have to get going,” I told him. I sounded dejected even to myself.

He smiled and moved aside, making way for the group.

I stayed silent as I passed him. And then when I was farther away, I began chatting with the others in English again.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out as the group was talking to a college student.

Sebastian.

It was Sebastian.

'I am glad you are enjoying your work. But I hope you will stay safe.' He had texted me.

I scrunched my brow as I tried to discern his words.

Whispered words floated into my ears.

”I think he heard us talking about the guide. Do you think she heard us?”

'What had they said?' I wondered.

”Safe to say we won't be getting any tonight,” one of them joked. I froze on spot.

He must have heard their remarks. And he must have been meaning to protect me in a small way.

I grew warm.

I let my fingers fly over the keypad.

'Thank you. I will take care.' I sent it.

In a moment of impulse, I send him a text asking him to stay safe.

In afterthought, he was someone who was equipped to overcome difficulties.

His words came back to me again.

People with the knowledge set capable of helping others.

Sebastian Butler had the knowledge to dissect the minds of criminals and ensure that they get put behind bars. He had the authority, the presence to demand that he be taken seriously. He had the skills to save lives.

And here I was, crying and feeling sorry for being incapable even though I had not tried to achieve this goal… this pursuit of knowledge.

I stubbed the idea as it came to me. There was no use entangling myself in that frame of mind. I was better off living as far away from the morbid Mr. Butler as possible.

I sighed as I went about my job again.

I couldn't wait to get home and forget about the day.

That night I dreamt of my family, but this time the copper hair and green eyes featured prominently. I saw him watching from far away as my family was slaughtered. I saw him sitting beside me as I curled up in the bathroom hoping to survive.

There was no comfort in him being there. Just yearning.

It would have been so much better if he was the one taking on the case all those years ago.

Maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't have suffered so much.

Maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't have let it fuck my life up.