Part 17 (2/2)
”Beryl!” she exclaimed. ”What a are you a saying?”
”I am telling you the truth.”
Torilla drew in her breath.
”Do you mean a are you really a saying, Beryl a that you a ?”
” a that I am not a pure, virgin bride?” Beryl finished. ”That is exactly what I am telling you, Torilla. You might as well know the truth.”
”But a dearest,” Torilla stammered. ”If it is a Lord Newall you love? Then why not a ?”
”Charles Newall has nothing to do with it. The man to whom I gave myself was a my husband!”
Torilla stared at her as though she thought she had taken leave of her senses.
Then with a little cry Beryl sat down on the stool in front of her dressing table and put her hands up to her eyes.
”Oh a Torilla a I wanted to tell you before a but what's the use? I have been so a desperately unhappy a but it does not a help to talk about it a ”
Torilla ran forward to kneel beside Beryl and put her arms around her.
'Tell me now,” she pleaded. ”Tell me, dearest.”
The tears were running down Beryl's face.
”I love him, Torilla. I love him with a all my heart a and it was just what you and I s-aid love would be like a only much, much more a wonderful!”
”Who was it? Tell me,” Torilla begged.
”Can you not guess?” Beryl asked half-smiling through her tears.
Torilla looked at her and suddenly she knew the answer.
”It was Rodney!”
Beryl nodded.
”Yes, Rodney. I suppose I was in a love with him ever since I was a child a but I did not aunderstand that it was love a not until he was a going away to j-join his Regiment.”
”I remember that,” Torilla said in a low voice, ”but I never realised a ”
”Aunt Elizabeth had just died, and you were a too unhappy to pay much attention to me. I intended to tell you, but both Rodney and I were so afraid that, if anyone guessed we were in love with each other, he would be forbidden to enter the house.”
She looked at Torilla through her tears as she went on, ”You know neither Papa nor Mama would have thought him a good enough for me.”
She gave a little sob and once again her hands went up to her face.
”Good enough!” she said in a m.u.f.fled voice. ”He was a everything I ever wanted and he told me that he loved me more than l-life itself.”
Her voice broke and now she was sobbing uncontrollably.
Torilla could only hold her close, the tears running down her own face.
”You will not remember,” Beryl went on after a little while, ”but I went to London for a few days telling Papa I was going to stay with Mama a but she did not know I had left The Hall. Rodney and I were a married by a Special Licence. We went to an hotel together and a Torilla a it was there I found what Heaven is a really like!”
”I understand,” Torilla murmured.
”It was so a wonderful, so marvellous. Then Rodney had to say goodbye because his Regiment was sailing for Spain.”
Torilla remembered that Rodney had been part of the Division that was sent out early in 1814 to re-enforce the Duke of Wellington's Armies in his drive through Spain to France.
”Rodney was quite certain,” Beryl went on, ”that the war would not last long. When he returned we were going to tell Papa that we were married. Then there would have been a nothing they could do about it a but he never came back.”
Beryl was crying again and Torilla murmured endearments as she cried too.
With an effort Beryl continued, ”I-I have a never told anyone a what I have told you now a there was a no point in anyone a knowing once Rodney was killed”
”Not even the a Marquis?”
”What would be the point?” Beryl asked, wiping the tears from her face.
”You do not think he has a a right to know?”
”I don't enquire about Gallen's past and I shall not expect him to question me about mine.”
Beryl looked in the mirror and saw Torilla's head reflected beside her own and the tears on her cheeks.
”Do not worry about me, dearest,” she said. ”It is the last time I shall cry about Rodney a the last time I shall speak of him. It is all over and done with.”
”But you cannot forget,” Torilla said softly.
”I shall try,” Beryl said in a firm voice. ”I shall try never to think of him again.”
Torilla rose from her knees to stand looking down at the pink wedding gown lying on the bed.
It was so like Beryl, she thought, in some strange way, to be honest enough with herself not to wear a white gown.
She thought now how blind she must have been not to realise that Rodney and Beryl always had a special feeling for each other.
Looking back she could remember a thousand incidents that might have given her a clue to the fact that they loved each other in a different way from how they loved her.
She had been two years younger than Beryl and five years younger than Rodney and she had therefore looked at them with the eyes of a child.
Only now because she loved the Marquis could she understand why when they were together there was an inescapable magnetism in the air, and when they looked into each other's eyes it had been hard to look away.
Now so many things that she had not understood where Beryl was concerned were made clear.
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