Part 6 (1/2)

LORD W. Can you apply it in theory?

PRESS. I believe it is done. But would you allow yourself to be blown up with impunity?

LORD W. Well, that's a bit extreme. But I quite sympathise with this chap. Imagine yourself in his shoes. He sees a huge house, all these bottles; us swilling them down; perhaps he's got a starving wife, or consumptive kids.

PRESS. [Writing and murmuring] Um-m! ”Kids.”

LORD W. He thinks: ”But for the grace of G.o.d, there swill I. Why should that blighter have everything and I nothing?” and all that.

PRESS. [Writing] ”And all that.” [Eagerly] Yes?

LORD W. And gradually--you see--this contrast--becomes an obsession with him. ”There's got to be an example made,” he thinks; and--er-- he makes it, don't you know?

PRESS. [Writing] Ye-es? And--when you're the example?

LORD W. Well, you feel a bit blue, of course. But my point is that you quite see it.

PRESS. From the other world. Do you believe in a future life, Lord William? The public took a lot of interest in the question, if you remember, at the time of the war. It might revive at any moment, if there's to be a revolution.

LORD W. The wish is always father to the thought, isn't it?

PRESS. Yes! But--er--doesn't the question of a future life rather bear on your point about kindness? If there isn't one--why be kind?

LORD W. Well, I should say one oughtn't to be kind for any motive-- that's self-interest; but just because one feels it, don't you know.

PRESS. [Writing vigorously] That's very new--very new!

LORD W. [Simply] You chaps are wonderful.

PRESS. [Doubtfully] You mean we're--we're----

LORD W. No, really. You have such a d---d hard time. It must be perfectly beastly to interview fellows like me.

PRESS. Oh! Not at all, Lord William. Not at all. I a.s.sure you compared with a literary man, it's--it's almost heavenly.

LORD W. You must have a wonderful knowledge of things.

PRESS. [Bridling a little] Well--I shouldn't say that.

LORD W. I don't see how you can avoid it. You turn your hands to everything.

PRESS. [Modestly] Well--yes, Yes.

LORD W. I say: Is there really going to be a revolution, or are you making it up, you Press?

PRESS. We don't know. We never know whether we come before the event, or it comes before us.

LORD W. That's--very deep--very dip. D'you mind lending me your note-book a moment. I'd like to stick that down. All right, I'll use the other end. [THE PRESS hands it hypnotically.]

LORD W. [Jotting] Thanks awfully. Now what's your real opinion of the situation?