Part 1 (2/2)

”But you are travelling?”

The traveller replied:

”Yes.”

The plain man, beginning to be annoyed, said:

”Have you never asked yourself where you are going to?”

”I have not.”

”But do you mean to tell me,” protested the plain man, now irritated, ”that you are putting yourself to all this trouble, peril, and expense of trains and steamers, without having asked yourself where you are going to?”

”It never occurred to me,” the traveller admitted. ”I just had to start and I started.”

Whereupon the plain man was, as too often with us plain men, staggered and deeply affronted by the illogical absurdity of human nature. ”Was it conceivable,” he thought, ”that this traveller, presumably in his senses--” etc. (You are familiar with the tone and the style, being a plain man yourself.) And he gave way to moral indignation.

Now I must here, in parenthesis, firmly state that I happen to be a member of the Society for the Suppression of Moral Indignation. As such, I object to the plain man's moral indignation against the traveller; and I think that a liability to moral indignation is one of the plain man's most serious defects. As such, my endeavour is to avoid being staggered and deeply affronted, or even surprised, by human vagaries. There are too many plain people who are always rediscovering human nature--its turpitudes, fatuities, unreason. They live amid human nature as in a chamber of horrors. And yet, after all these years, we surely ought to have grown used to human nature! It may be extremely vile--that is not the point. The point is that it const.i.tutes our environment, from which we cannot escape alive. The man who is capable of being deeply affronted by his inevitable environment ought to have the pluck of his convictions and shoot himself. The Society would with pleasure pay his funeral expenses and contribute to the support of his wife and children. Such a man is, without knowing it, a dire enemy of true progress, which can only be planned and executed in an atmosphere from which heated moral superiority is absent.

I offer these parenthetical remarks as a guarantee that I shall not over-righteously sneer at the plain man for his share in the sequel to the conversation with the traveller. For there was a sequel to the conversation.

”As questions are being asked, where are you going to?” said the traveller.

The plain man answered with a.s.surance:

”Oh, I know exactly where I'm going to. I'm going to Timbuctoo.”

”Indeed!” said the traveller. ”And why are you going to Timbuctoo?”

Said the plain man: ”I'm going because it's the proper place to go to.

Every self-respecting person goes to Timbuctoo.”

”But why?”

Said the plain man:

”Well, it's supposed to be just about unique. You're contented there.

You get what you've always wanted. The climate's wonderful.”

”Indeed!” said the traveller again. ”Have you met anybody who's been there?”

”Yes, I've met several. I've met a lot. And I've heard from people who are there.”

”And are their reports enthusiastic?”

”Well--” The plain man hesitated.

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