Part 68 (1/2)
V.
CLXXII.
To an American friend
SAN FRANCISCO,.
7th April, 1900. . . . I am more calm and quiet now than I ever was. I am on my own feet, working hard and with pleasure. To work I have the right. Mother knows the rest.
You see, I shall have to stay here, longer than I intended, and work. But don't be disturbed. I shall work out all my problems. I am on my own feet now, and I begin to see the light. Success would have led me astray, and I would have lost sight of the truth that I am a Sannyasin. That is why Mother is giving me this experience.
My boat is nearing the calm harbour from which it is never more to be driven out. Glory, glory unto Mother! I have no wish, no ambition now. Blessed be Mother! I am the servant of Ramakrishna. I am merely a machine. I know nothing else. Nor do I want to know. Glory, glory unto Shri Guru!
CLXXIII.
To Mrs. Ole Bull
1719 TURK STREET, SAN FRANCISCO,.
8th April, 1900.
DEAR DHIRA MATA, Here is a long letter from A__. He seems to be entirely upset. I am sure a little kindness will completely win him over. He thinks that you want to drive him out of New York, etc. He awaits my orders. I have told him to trust you in everything and remain in New York till I come.
I think, as things stand in New York, they require my presence. Do you? In that case I shall come over soon.
I have been making enough money to pay my pa.s.sage. I will stop on my way at Chicago and Detroit.
Of course by that time you will be off. A__ has done good work so far; and, of course, you know I do not meddle with my workers at all. The man who can work has an individuality of his own and resists any pressure there. That is my reason in leaving workers entirely free. Of course you are on the spot and know best. Advise me what to do.
The remittance to Calcutta has duly reached. I got news of it by this mail. My cousin sends her respects and thanks, but she is sorry she cannot write English.
I am getting better every day, and even walking uphill. There are falls now and then, but the duration is decreasing constantly. My thanks to Mrs. Milton. I had a little note from Siri Gryanander. Poor girl, she is so thankful to be trusted. That is just like Mrs. Leggett - good, good, good. Money is not evil after all - in good hands. I hope fervently Siri will completely recover, poor child.
I will leave here in about two weeks. I go to a place called Star Klon and then start for the East. It may be I may go to Denver also. With all love to Joe,
Ever your son,