Part 35 (2/2)

When Malene comes in, Ibens face is still covered with cream. Malene! Im in here!

Malene joins her in the bathroom. She seems emotionally drained, but gives Iben a hug. Iben, Im so glad to see you youre a true friend.

By the time they sit together on the sofa with their tea, Iben has pulled herself together. She has reminded herself that she isnt the one who has just lost the man she has loved for the last three years. She needs to be there for Malene.

She remembers her one and only experience of breaking up after a long affair. The man was one of her literature teachers at university and almost eleven years older. They spent amazing amounts of time together, especially considering that he not only was regarded as a hardworking academic but also had a live-in partner.

He told Iben practically from the start that he wanted to get out of his relations.h.i.+p, but then the day came when he told her that his partner was pregnant. He didnt seem to feel that this needed to affect what he and Iben had together, but she had put an end to it there and then. It took her more than a year to get over it.

Malene doesnt touch her tea, but talks on in a loud, trembling voice. And I said to him it was pointless. s.h.i.+t, shes only twenty-one. What good is that for him? Hanging out with a twenty-one-year-old barmaid. But he said they get along so well.

She stares up at the ceiling, tears streaming across her temples. So well because she has done film studies for six months. Oh, yes. They can discuss movies. f.u.c.king movies! Must be great to have something to talk about after s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g.

Oh, Malene!

And I asked him if she was healthy. He wouldnt say and insisted, but insisted, that health had nothing to do with anything. Then I said, But you cant know for sure, can you? There might be something wrong with her. Like, maybe shes got AIDS. Or MS. Or the Big C. Anything. You cant be sure. You didnt recognize that I was ill, not when you met me. Not when you first said you loved me.

Malene leans against Iben, who holds her close and tries to say all the right things even though she knows it wont make a difference. Malenes mascara has run and some of it has rubbed off on her white s.h.i.+rt. She blows her nose now and then but has given up drying her tears. Her voice has become hoa.r.s.e and she keeps repeating herself.

We were having such a good evening too. We ate, he seemed happy, and we were relaxing together. And then he just suddenly came out with it. There was something he had to tell me, it was only right. And then it all s...o...b..lled from there. What did he imagine? I mean, what did he think would happen when he told me something like that?

I dont know.

Did he think that Id listen to his story and that would be that? Did he think we would just continue as before?

Iben thinks back to the moment when she turned to her teacher and told him it was all over between them. They were sitting on a stony beach at the far end of Amager Island. The beach was one of their special places, somewhere no one they knew would ever come. He protested, but it was as if a repairman had told him to buy a new fridge. Iben, are you sure? And theres absolutely nothing I can say to change your mind? Well, okay. I guess thats it. He had listened to Iben, agreed, and then gone home.

Iben stopped going to his cla.s.ses. It was tricky to find enough courses to fill the days when he was not in the department. He never contacted her again, but she couldnt avoid hearing on the student grapevine that he had married and had a little boy.

Iben looks around. Her living room strikes her again as ugly, almost repulsive. She hates her old furniture and unframed posters. Hates the cold overhead light.

Later, when Malene is crying a little less, Iben gets up and goes to the kitchen. She makes a fresh pot of tea and puts four frozen rolls into the microwave. While they thaw, she slices cheese for the two of them.

From now on Iben will look after Malene when she has her arthritis attacks. There is no one else, unless a smart new admirer carries Malene off. And if the illness worsens and the admirers vanish, Iben will be on duty for a long time ahead.

Still fragile, Malene has kicked off her shoes and put her stockinged feet up, warming her toes under Ibens thigh. She cant stop tormenting herself.

I wonder what hes doing now? They must be so pleased. I bet theyve been f.u.c.king ever since he turned up at her door.

Malene, dont you think I bet hes in her arms now. Theyre naked. And I bet shes happy too because hes taken the plunge.

Very late that night, Iben finally brings a cloth, a bucket of water, and a roll of paper towels to the bookshelf. She starts cleaning up the ice cream.

Malene sits up. What are you doing?

Something made me fling my ice cream at the bookcase when you phoned this evening.

They exchange faint, miserable smiles.

Iben! Thats not like you at all.

Nope.

Thats really sweet of you. And to let me come here, just like that Dont think about it.

And you dont mind if I sleep here?

No problem. I know its going to be a tough night for you. Im glad Im here for you.

I am too. Where were you earlier?

Never mind. It doesnt matter now.

chapter 36.

iben is on her way upstairs to Malenes apartment. Its in an old building with stained-gla.s.s windows on each landing that run from floor to ceiling, and over time, some of the panes have fallen out of their lead calms and the property manager has replaced them with cheap plain gla.s.s. Iben has always thought the stairway rather beautiful, even though the blank fields of gla.s.s break up the images.

It is late on Sat.u.r.day morning. Rasmus has said he will come to collect his belongings but Malene doesnt want to be there. She is holed up in Ibens apartment, so Iben has promised to go and keep an eye on him instead. Rasmus mustnt be allowed to carry off the wrong things or take more than hes ent.i.tled to. Iben has a pretty good idea of what belongs to whom, and besides, she can always phone Malene if in doubt.

It will be strange to meet Rasmus now that their relations.h.i.+p has changed. Iben knows that she should be angry with him, but she cant force herself.

Only four days have pa.s.sed since Malene thought Rasmus loved her. Malene has since tried to convince him that its all been a mistake, but now hes certain that its the right thing to stay with his new girlfriend.

Malene speaks about the way he shut her out completely. It was done in a day. He decided to be cold toward her and, right away, he was. Rasmuss behavior toward Malene has made Iben question whether mens feelings are as strong as womens. Theres no way of telling. But there is one major difference: men seem to be able to postpone their emotional reactions until it suits them. Even men you think you know well can turn their back on you in an instant, acting more distant than you ever thought possible.

The apartment is on the fifth floor, and when Iben finally reaches the landing she can hear Rasmus rummaging around inside. She is just about to press the doorbell when she realizes that Rasmus doesnt live here anymore. This is Malenes place and by now Iben, the owners best friend, has more right to be here than he has. Shes certain that Malene would prefer her to make a point of this and considers using her key, but then she decides against it and presses the doorbell.

Rasmus lets her in. His hair is all over the place. He must have run his fingers through it several times.

She has never heard him speak in such a serious tone. Iben! We have to talk. Come inside and have a seat. There, on the sofa.

She follows him into the living room. Many items are already in boxes: a few small pictures, some books and CDs. The music center and the loudspeakers are dismantled and about to be packed, together with the large TV and the folding dining table chairs.

Would you like coffee? Or something?

Rasmus, Im not sure Maybe we shouldnt I think Malene She settles down all the same. She has no idea what he wants to tell her.

Characteristically, he begins to talk about a computer program hes written. Apparently hes devised a long and complex piece of spyware, which he had intended to use in order to trace the sender of the e-mails.

What is he really saying? Is this technical stuff meant to prove how much Malene meant to him, even though hes been unfaithful to her? Whatever the message, he spends such a long time on the details of the programming that her mind begins to wander.

Later on she helps him take his things down to the white van he has borrowed. She does several rounds with bags of clothes, CDs, and boxes full of bits and pieces. She has always liked Rasmus. Hes a nice guy; simply not the right one for Malene. His parents, who live in Svendborg, are schoolteachers with a shared enthusiasm for sailing. The pair seem to confirm the argument that people with a background in education are best equipped to bring up happy, stable children.

<script>