Part 11 (1/2)
”Well,” said Leo. ”I wouldn't recommend it. I would let her keep to her bed. I would let Elinor stay right there by her all the time. Here she can have the food and drink that she's used to. That's what I would do.”
”Leo, what is it she's got, anyway?”
”Like I said, it's some kind of fever. Like a swamp fever. Sort of like malaria-but of course it's not malaria. Honest to G.o.d. Oscar, I don't know what it is. Your mama been out fis.h.i.+ng lately?”
”It's hard to imagine Mama fis.h.i.+ng. Why you ask something like that?”
” 'Cause I remember a long time ago an old colored man-don't even remember his name-came down with the same thing, or same thing near as I can make out. He was one of Pa's cases, I was just itty-bitty, but I remember, 'cause I was going around with Pa in those days. That old cplored man was a fish- 131.
erman, used to fish on the Perdido a few miles up above here, I guess.”
”That was before my time, 'cause I don't remember him. But he had the same thing?”
”I think it was. Said he fell in the water, swallowed some, and nearly drowned. Came back home and crawled into bed.”
”Great G.o.d in the morning, Leo! If you could catch something out of Perdido water, don't you think we'd all be dead by now? Elinor, especially. She swims in that old river all the time. Always has. And she hasn't been sick a day since we were married in James's living room. What happened to that old colored man anyway?”
”Oh, Oscar, that was so long ago! That old man's been dead twenty-five years!”
”What'd he die of, though?” Leo Benquith looked closely at Oscar, but didn't answer. ”That old colored man died of the fever he caught in Perdido water, isn't that right?” Oscar shook his head ruefully. ”Leo, I'm sorry. It's not that I don't think you're the best doctor in three counties, it's just that lately Mama and I haven't been getting along so well.”
”So Florida told me.”
”And if anything happened to her right now, I think I'd just die! Listen, Leo, you think if I went up there and apologized, Mama would hear me and understand what I was saying?”
”She might.”
”Would it be all right to do that?”
”As long as you don't badger her into answering you, 'cause I'm not so sure she can. Oscar, I tell you what. You wait awhile, let her get over the excitement of my being here this afternoon, then go up and ask Elinor if it's all right. She'll know.”
”Elinor's a good nurse for Mama!” Oscar exclaimed with pride.
”She sure is,” agreed Leo. ”I think Elinor knows as much about Mary-Love's illness as I do.”
132.
Accordingly, an hour later, after he had drunk two more gla.s.ses of iced tea and walked around the house a couple of times and poked a stick into the kudzu at the base of the levee looking for stray snakes and called for Zaddie to let him in the back way, Oscar went upstairs and knocked on the door of the front room.
Elinor opened the door softly and stepped out into the hallway.
”How's Mama?”
”She's the same.”
”Elinor, can I speak to her?”
”About what?”
”About... things,” he said vaguely and uneasily.
”Are you gone yell at her?”
”No, of course not! I'm gone ask her to forgive me.”
”Forgive you for what?”
”For not coming to see her for the past five years.”
”Oscar, that was Mary-Love's fault. That wasn't yours.”
”I know, but I shouldn't have done it anyway. Mama's always been that way, and I knew it. Maybe if I said, 'Mama, will you forgive me?' it'd make her feel better. You think?”
Elinor paused and considered. At last she stood aside and said, ”All right, Oscar. Go on in. But keep your voice down. And don't keep asking her to say yes and no and shake her head and kiss you.”
”I won't. But will she hear me? Will she understand what I'm saying?”
”That I don't know. Oscar, I'm going to speak to Zaddie for a few minutes and then I'm coming right back up and throw you out. So you'd better get to it.”
Elinor went quietly down the hallway toward the stairs as Oscar hesitantly entered the front room.
The room was dark and airless, though outside the sun shone brightly and a stiff breeze from the 133.
Gulf kept the afternoon heat at bay. Across the windows the shades had been pulled, the Venetian blinds closed, and the lined draperies drawn. A thin line of dim light along the baseboard below the windows was the only indication that it was not black night outside. The room was overwhelmed with the unmistakable odor of illness, as if the sickness had infected the bedclothes, the furniture, and the very walls and floor of the room. On a table laden with medicines was an oscillating fan. Its labored turning was a result of mechanical difficulty, but it almost seemed to Oscar that its problems might have been caused by the density of the air it had to reckon with. An extra carpet had been put down on the floor; cus.h.i.+ons had been put on all the chairs, and cloths had been laid over every surface to guard against obtrusive noise. A single low-watted bulb shone dimly behind a shade of crimson silk. Oscar looked about and no longer wondered that his daughter had been afraid to sleep in this room. The walls were dark green, but they seemed no brighter than the black cast-iron chandelier suspended near the middle of the ceiling. He had rarely been in this room. With the door closed, the light shut out, and all outside sound m.u.f.fled, it didn't seem like a part of the house at all.
In the same way, his mother, lying in the bed, seemed no longer a part of his life. She was not the woman who figured in his memory and thought. Mary-Love lay unmoving, breathing stertorously, in a thick linen nightdress, propped up on pillows. The sheets, spread, and coverlet had been impeccably arranged; they covered Mary-Love almost up to her neck. Her hands, white and frail, lay atop the folded-back sheet.
Mary-Love's eyes were open, but they were not focused on her son. Experimentally, he moved a few feet to the left. Her eyes did not follow him. Oscar placed himself in her line of vision.
134.
”Mama?” he said.
He listened and wondered if he did not detect a slight momentary alteration of her breath. It was difficult to tell over the distracting noise of the fan.
”Mama, I came to visit you for a minute.”
He moved to the table and turned the fan off. For the first time he detected the unsettling raspiness in his mother's breathing.
Back at bedside, he a.s.sured her, ”I'll turn it back on in a minute. I just wanted to make sure you heard what I was going to say.”
He paused, waiting for some indication that she had heard, or that she a.s.sented to his continuing. None came, but Oscar felt that he had to proceed.
”Mama, I'm real sorry you're sick. The only good thing about your being sick is that you're letting Elinor and me take care of you. You know what that shows, don't you? It shows n.o.body's upset anymore. Elinor wouldn't do everything she's doing for you if she were still mad at you, would she? She wouldn't spend all day up here every day. She wouldn't sleep in here at night. Mama, I just want you to know that I'm not mad anymore either. I'm not even thinking about the things that made me mad. I just want you to get well. By the time everybody comes back from Chicago, I want you back in your own house, fussing. I want you to get mad because everybody went away and left you here by yourself. But I tell you something, I'm glad they did, because it means Elinor and I have got the chance to prove how much we really do love you. That's what I wanted to make sure you heard me say. Just because I'm not being your nurse doesn't mean I don't care, because I do. I just wouldn't know what to do in here. See, I cain't even look at you and make sure you're hearing what I'm saying. I wouldn't know what medicine was what, and that's why Elinor is doing all this and not me. Elinor is being better than I thought she could be, Mama. Now, doesn't it make you want to cry that you two 135.
have not been getting along all these years? You know what? Elinor and I have been married sixteen years now, isn't that something? I remember the first time-”
At that moment, Elinor opened the door of the room, and said, ”Oscar, that's enough for right now. It's time for your mama's medicine. Turn the fan back on.”